Mirror, Mirror: INFJ

INFJ
Estimated to be between 2 and 3 percent of the American population

The most important part of INFJs is their rich inner life, which is highly imaginative and capable of seeing unique possibilities everywhere. Often reserved and cautious children, INFJs may be reluctant to reveal their true and usually highly creative selves with others. Even then, they are selective about whom they risk sharing their ideas with, and they need to first make sure these special people are well known and deeply trusted. Quiet, gentle, and sensitive, INFJs like to watch first and join in after they feel comfortable and safe. They are rarely very assertive except as regards to their personal values, about which they can be quite forceful and passionate. Intellectually curious, especially about theories, global issues, and future possibilities, INFJs often have a unique vision about themselves and their projects. They are fiercely committed to their beliefs and can have surprising willpower to stay true to their view of how things should be. When challenged, they tend to dig their heels in more deeply rather than abandon or alter their vision to comply with what others think is best.

INFJs tend to love fantasy in their play and their stories. They often speak early and with a sophisticated style that belies their years. They usually like any creative activity, such as making things out of discarded objects, writing (especially creative writing in journals), dramatic play, reading, making or listening to music, and art projects or crafts. They may have imaginary friends or close friendships with their stuffed animals. Usually INFJs choose only a few, intimate friends and, while they are well liked for their warm and caring nature and respond with delight when invited to a friend's house, they are not typically the initiators of social activities. They tend to be highly empathetic and very nurturing with their friends, offering advice and expressing concern for others' safety and welfare. They have a strong need for harmony, especially in their treasured personal relationships, and can be deeply wounded by insensitive or cruel comments. They will go to great lengths to please the people they love and want to be appreciated for their thoughtfulness and their accomplishments. INFJs tend to idealize the people they love and seem to be on a constant quest to understand themselves and the meaning of everything that touches their lives.

Organized and efficient, INFJs are most comfortable with order, structure, and consistency. They are unnerved by constant or rapid change and need plenty of time, advance warning, and loving support to adjust to it. They like to be on time and prepared for all of their obligations, and they respect rules and authority. INFJs really like to be in control and can run the risk of being overly perfectionistic. They are frightened and stressed when too much changes too fast. Determined to stay in charge and unwilling to go against what they believe to be right, they can have real trouble compromising or backing down. Some time alone, or quiet companionship that reassures them they are supported and loved helps INFJs regain their sense of optimism and balance.

[Source: Nurture by Nature: Understand Your Child's Personality Type – And Become a Better Parent by Barbara Barron-Tieger and Paul D. Tieger]

Originally Posted by Grey

INFJ
Estimated to be between 2 and 3 percent of the American population

The most important part of INFJs is their rich inner life, which is highly imaginative and capable of seeing unique possibilities everywhere. Often reserved and cautious children, INFJs may be reluctant to reveal their true and usually highly creative selves with others. Even then, they are selective about whom they risk sharing their ideas with, and they need to first make sure these special people are well known and deeply trusted. Quiet, gentle, and sensitive, INFJs like to watch first and join in after they feel comfortable and safe. They are rarely very assertive except as regards to their personal values, about which they can be quite forceful and passionate. Intellectually curious, especially about theories, global issues, and future possibilities, INFJs often have a unique vision about themselves and their projects. They are fiercely committed to their beliefs and can have surprising willpower to stay true to their view of how things should be. When challenged, they tend to dig their heels in more deeply rather than abandon or alter their vision to comply with what others think is best.

INFJs tend to love fantasy in their play and their stories. They often speak early and with a sophisticated style that belies their years. They usually like any creative activity, such as making things out of discarded objects, writing (especially creative writing in journals), dramatic play, reading, making or listening to music, and art projects or crafts. They may have imaginary friends or close friendships with their stuffed animals. Usually INFJs choose only a few, intimate friends and, while they are well liked for their warm and caring nature and respond with delight when invited to a friend's house, they are not typically the initiators of social activities. They tend to be highly empathetic and very nurturing with their friends, offering advice and expressing concern for others' safety and welfare. They have a strong need for harmony, especially in their treasured personal relationships, and can be deeply wounded by insensitive or cruel comments. They will go to great lengths to please the people they love and want to be appreciated for their thoughtfulness and their accomplishments. INFJs tend to idealize the people they love and seem to be on a constant quest to understand themselves and the meaning of everything that touches their lives.

Organized and efficient, INFJs are most comfortable with order, structure, and consistency. They are unnerved by constant or rapid change and need plenty of time, advance warning, and loving support to adjust to it. They like to be on time and prepared for all of their obligations, and they respect rules and authority. INFJs really like to be in control and can run the risk of being overly perfectionistic. They are frightened and stressed when too much changes too fast. Determined to stay in charge and unwilling to go against what they believe to be right, they can have real trouble compromising or backing down. Some time alone, or quiet companionship that reassures them they are supported and loved helps INFJs regain their sense of optimism and balance.

[Source: Nurture by Nature: Understand Your Child's Personality Type – And Become a Better Parent by Barbara Barron-Tieger and Paul D. Tieger]

only things I would disagree with, and I don't entirely, is the respect rules and authority... there are a lot of lame ass rules and I don't respect dumb ones..lol
also... not afraid of change... change is what makes the flow of time so important... if someone tries to pull me out of my natural timeline rather than push me ahead in my own personal flow I get upset.
but that has to do with direction of change, not necessarily the change itself...

because change is inevitable, and is actually quite good for us... we are only a danger to ourselves when we get stuck in moments that do not change us but keep us stuck in time, actually to be stuck is quite painful, I think most INFJ's will agree that they enjoy a steady-flow of positive change in the direction of their own goals and the perspective goals of those close to them...

Originally Posted by GreenCoyote

only things I would disagree with, and I don't entirely, is the respect rules and authority... there are a lot of lame ass rules and I don't respect dumb ones..lol
also... not afraid of change... change is what makes the flow of time so important... if someone tries to pull me out of my natural timeline rather than push me ahead in my own personal flow I get upset.
but that has to do with direction of change, not necessarily the change itself...

because change is inevitable, and is actually quite good for us... we are only a danger to ourselves when we get stuck in moments that do not change us but keep us stuck in time, actually to be stuck is quite painful, I think most INFJ's will agree that they enjoy a steady-flow of positive change in the direction of their own goals and the perspective goals of those close to them...

Ditto on both points. I ignore stupid rules unless the punishment for violating them outweighs the annoyance of following them, and I get outright antagonistic to authority when I think it's unearned or unjust. And change only bothers me when I can't see it coming. I think this is a big part of why I don't like being around large groups of strangers. That's when things get very unpredictable. But being stagnant in my personal development is far worse than any change I can think of.

I agree with what both aela and GreenCoyote have said about the topic of rules and authority.

This is the best one I have read so far!
I'm still child-like ~ so this list is extremely relatable.
"They may have imaginary friends or close friendships with their stuffed animals."
When I was younger I would spend all day playing with my stuffed animals, drawing them, and making up their personalities. Presently, I even have a stuffed narwhal - Noodle which I'm very close with. I have always made one character similar to me and the others similar to my friends or people I wish I was closer with.

"They have a strong need for harmony, especially in their treasured personal relationships, and can be deeply wounded by insensitive or cruel comments. They will go to great lengths to please the people they love and want to be appreciated for their thoughtfulness and their accomplishments."
I've spent so much time wishing I was more liked by certain people, and have been striving to perfect my faults and have been analyzing myself over and over again.

"They are frightened and stressed when too much changes too fast."
Yes, and I always "miss how things used to be" even after a minor change.

"Even then, they are selective about whom they risk sharing their ideas with, and they need to first make sure these special people are well known and deeply trusted."
Yes!

"Quiet, gentle, and sensitive, INFJs like to watch first and join in after they feel comfortable and safe."
I usually don't join in, but I watch and think of it.

"The most important part of INFJs is their rich inner life, which is highly imaginative and capable of seeing unique possibilities everywhere."
Such as my dream of living in an underground labyrinth, it would be so much nicer than a typical mansion. Why hasn't any one else wanted to live in one?

Another reason why i always feel like I might be an INFJ I relate to everything on there.It's like it's me in a nutshell

Originally Posted by Grey

they respect rules and authority.

It depends on the rules and 'authority', but definitely not without question.

Originally Posted by GreenCoyote

only things I would disagree with, and I don't entirely, is the respect rules and authority... there are a lot of lame ass rules and I don't respect dumb ones..lol
also... not afraid of change... change is what makes the flow of time so important... if someone tries to pull me out of my natural timeline rather than push me ahead in my own personal flow I get upset.
but that has to do with direction of change, not necessarily the change itself...

because change is inevitable, and is actually quite good for us... we are only a danger to ourselves when we get stuck in moments that do not change us but keep us stuck in time, actually to be stuck is quite painful, I think most INFJ's will agree that they enjoy a steady-flow of positive change in the direction of their own goals and the perspective goals of those close to them...

Agree, but I think that the distinction is about who initiates the change. I like to initiate changes all the time, but don't like having them imposed in me. If I am at least part of the change (meaning I have some degree of control) and I can see it coming, it's often welcome. When someone else imposes a change then it's usually not welcome, and when it comes as a surprise, or as Grey wrote, a lot of changes are coming quickly and with little warning, then it can be tough to handle. Still, I usually find a way to deal with it immediately and after the shock wears off, that's when I start showing signs of stress. Weird?

Wow thanks so much for helping me identity myself.

I agree for the most part :-) .. What's different for me, I find that my default is actually to share all, if not most of myself.. As a kid, I'd pick one person in a group and I'd be friends with just them the whole year. This went on till grade 4, when I crossed paths with the girl from grade 3.. and we continued on to be friends for many years after that. I'm always close, if I feel connected to the person. I never hide anything. Unfortunately the *prophecy* will end up being fulfilled as I've been learning time and time again, no matter what I do --All the roads seem to lead to making the decision that it is better closing oneself off...