Why do you care what other people think?
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This is a discussion on Enneagram 2's,3's,4's within the Heart Triad - Types 2,3,4 forums, part of the Enneagram Personality Theory Forum category; Why do you care what other people think?...
Why do you care what other people think?
I don't care what they think
I don't think I care what other people think. When it comes to what I value, what's important to me, how I live my life, etc. I care what other people think in the sense that I don't want to hurt their feelings, or I want to share ideas and encourage and motivate them, or comfort them and help them work through something, or maybe what they think is new and different and exciting to me, etc etc etc. But if it's caring what other people think in terms of superficial judgment, then I really could give a fuck. It might hurt my feelings if I think they are misunderstanding me, or misjudging me... if they are accurately and truthfully judging me, enlightening me in someway that I previously couldn't see... that might hurt too but I'd appreciate it very much.
You get the idea. Not sure how much that has to do with being a 4. I haven't spent much time with enneagram stuff.
For 2s, 3s and 4s the tendency to care what others think is about mirroring...the image types didn't get adequate mirroring in childhood, and so others are looked to for some sort of mirroring. Who one is inside and how one is perceived outside become intertwined.
I can see those image concerns in myself. It's not that I care what people think in the"keep up with the joneses" sense of caring what other people think, but there is that connection between self-image and how the world perceives me. This is essential to type four and is where the hypersensitivity fours exhibit comes from. Fours' defense mechanism is introjection so negative appraisals of the self get introjected, especially since fours already have a self-image that revolves around what's lacking in themselves, and so on the one hand there's the defensive reaction externally of "you don't understand me" while internally, there's shame stemming from the belief that the negative appraisal is true.
As far as *why* I'm that way...well, I'd need to spend the evening with you and a large amount of booze to explain it to you. Or, maybe, just half an hour with my mother
I don't; However, I'm a cheater. Intuition dominate 3's are an extremely rare species. As well as me being a triple aggressive, and me being the but end of the spectrum. Much like the Counterphobic 6 I am a, and I hate this term, Countershame 3. I'll probably start calling it CounterImage.
"'Countershame' 3s on the alpha end of the alpha/beta scale of 3ness (triple assertive trifix) are notably shameless, as both a reaction to deeper (nonconscious) shame and due to having two genuinely unshameable fixes."
This very much fits the ENTP, because the ENTP is apart of the alpha section in socionic's universe. This mean's unlike other 3's I am more likely to care more about my own knowledge than say my biceps. My own abilities over my appearance. It means I have the ability to take pretty much anything as a compliment, but not everything, and have more of a 'uncaring' compoture to the part of society who don't like me. It basically means I don't mind being hated.
Also as an ENTP that conflicts with the 3's natural S-ness make me more of an Enigma. I know I am a P. I procrastinate, and that goes against 3's need to get things done, but I also plan for the future. I am future orientated which collides with the 3's natural present presences, but I am aware of the present. [It's why I always say. "I spend a majority of my time in the future, but sometimes in the present, rarely in the past."] 3's have a need to please people. ENTP's have a need to Conflict. My Trifix has a need to conflict. I am trapped in a fraction 1/3 vs 2/3. It is why I am seen as the evilest, and nicest of the ENTPs on this site. ETC, ETC. Need to move on before I write a whole page about the Ne Dominate Countershame 3's.
ENTP traits that override the 3 traits due to intuition are my creativity, my procrastination, my unstructured lifestyle, and my conflicting nature.
Not everything is conflicting though? Both the 3 and the ENTP have a need to push the limits and become the best. They're both the challengers raising above and going to the call, which also makes both competitive. They're both ego centric. Some of your favorite NT megalomaniac's could have been NT 3's. 3's & ENTP's are very logic, and both are extremely selfish.
I'll stop there because if I continue I'll get into Trifixes and Subwings and before long I would have written an essay on the subject. If you would like to learn more please comment here or on my profile.
All your text formats has belong to me.
I'm a 4w5 and I don't care. 4s are supposed to be a bit self-absorbed and unconventional, no?
I don't know, but I hate it.