Enneagram 2's,3's,4's

Because the way people respond to me based on what I do is fascinating, and as a bonus can be used to my advantage in direct proportion to successful trial/error research.

Because I care about people and don't want them to be misled and go down a false path. I care about what people think OF ME because I don't want to be discredited. I think I can be very helpful and insightful, caring to others. I want them to be open to me and listen to me so that I can have a door open for influence in their lives. They won't allow that if they think badly of me.

I'm a 4w3, and I'm so mixed upon what people think of me.
Sometimes, I dun give a damn but then I'm like "Wait! Now I care, I CARE!"

I can be very selfless at times, which people think is not a 4 wing quality.
But I try to make sure to balance out my love for myself and the love of others.
I love helping others because it makes me feel better and more original.

Seeing people happy and liking me makes me so happy, I always wanted to be popular for who I was and I think that I'm on a pretty good path to getting that love from others.

I care what other people think...but only to an extent. I don't care if people think I dress sloppily, am a coward, weak, awkward, emotional, etc. They're all true. And it doesn't even hurt when coming from loved ones, cause I know they accept me flaws and all.

But when people start thinking I'm unloving or stupid, then I get upset, and it really shows, because those are the most important traits I try to cultivate when around people. When people say I'm such, I honestly run the risk of believing it, cause that's when Sir Critique-a-Lot shows up and brings my One wing into prominence backing them up. Gosh he's a butthead. :c

I care what people think in fear they will think I'm defective, that I'm flawed and don't belong. How impure I am. And I'm desperately want to change their minds. I think that's when our envy strikes, in always seeing the grass greener at the other side, relentless pursue of what's missing and devastation of what I already have now.
I'm not thinking what peoples said in means of 'did I impress them?' but if they knew how such a disgrace I am as a human being. After pondering for a while about the enneagram, I come to realize I'm projecting my own feeling of inadequacy at people. I made up as if people who are judging, when I'm judging myself harshly. Not accepting what I already have instead seeking other things I could achieve and envying what others have. Sometimes it comes to a point of professional envy, jealousy like 'she's the same as I am, I might be better than her, but why she got all the admiration?'

I care what people think because I am people pleaser. The people pleasing thing mixed with the need for approval/acceptance is not always good. I think it is because I want everyone to get along and to love each other.I also want to make others happy.
I do realize though its not always healthy since you can not please others all the time but you have try to please yourself too.
I realize its balancing act and that most people just fear rejection or lack the belief that you are good enough just the way you are.

In the context of my job, I care what my coworkers think because then I know for sure that I've done a good job. Aside from that, I couldn't care less.

I want to be perfect and I strive to get everybody to like me

but once I find out somebody doesn't like me I don't really care. usually I know why, and usually its something I can't help, and I realize that its just difference between personality, so I just ignore it. there's a difference between a type of person disliking you and the whole world disliking you. and I've noticed that when somebody doesn't like me its not that important to them! There's some people, if you dislike them, you REALLY dislike them. With me, if I grate somebody's nerves, I'm of no significance to them. I feel like a blackhead on a face of pimples and the person is worried about the pimples but they ignore me, even though its harder to get me to go away.

I've never really been able to pinpoint the reason. I think it might be because I'd rather have people not saying anything about me at all, then having them say bad things about me. I don't know I think I'm just very sensitive to words for some reason and I'm afraid my ego could get crushed.
Also I have a massive fear of rejection.

Going through reading all these posts is tiring and repetitive and makes me want to vomit all over the computer screen. I also just got suspended from my third job in four months for yelling at my openly questioning my boss and her unprofessional behavior towards me to her face. As soon as she told me to leave, I instantly grabbed my purse and left with a smile on my face, at the absurdity of my life. My smiling during my own discomfort makes her cringe (the underlying reason why she treated me like shit). Boy, do I care what other people think of me.