How would you know if a type five dislikes or has something personal against you?

I always try to get along with people, but in my career I have had most of my problems with co-workers. I work best by myself and their presence is always a bit difficult - even if their personalities don't rub me the wrong way.

There seem to be a lot of people who feel threatened in my profession (legal assistant) and there must be something about me that does it to them. Dang, I was in one job a couple years ago and the other gal who was there couldn't last two days with me before she was telling the boss how incompetent I was (I was learning new office procedures and programs) and acting so superior and in general so hostile toward me I couldn't figure it out. I was asked to leave..



I had another co-worker who disliked me from day one - hostility just dripped from her, but I could never figure out why - maybe because she was another introvert and so would never say anything to me. She gave me the silent treatment. I do that too, but I realized how uncomfortable it is to be on the receiving end of it.

I cope by ignoring the offending persons and saying nothing. I am always wondering why they are acting that way and what the heck have I done?

If I say something direct, it is usually because I have been pushed for months or years. This really only happens very rarely because I am VERY introverted.

MBTI: ISTJ
Enneagram: 5w4

It's simple, really.
If I don't like you, i'll ignore you.
If you talk to me, I can talk back like there's no problem. But for the most part you don't exist.

I put iron in my voice if I become annoyed with you. Usually, I remain neutral and silent around people I don't know. I will fight back if I have to, not being a (you know what) when a fight/argument shows up that can't be avoided. Normally, I avoid people that are prideous and vain, showing qualities I dislike. You want to talk and I don't know you? Initiate a conversation and I will respond how I see fit. I try to remain neutral/ good attitude towards all human beings, even if they irk me… (Even is I dislike you, you ask me a question, I'll respond bitterly/help you) (If I really dislike you or ask me something I dislike, you have to convince me why I should do it) So that sums most of it up…

When I don't like someone I have a hard time making any eye contact with them. I don't like to be false, and I don't like to act nasty with people, even when I don't like them. When I make eye contact with someone, the emotion I communicate is positive and friendly, so if I am not making eye contact with someone, it means I am unable to show friendliness to that person because I don't like them.

5w4 INTP (INXP)

If I dislike someone, I won't have anything to do with them. Simple. Why would I waste time being around someone I dislike?

Silence and passive-aggressiveness. And yes, overall avoidance and an attempt to create distance.

And yes, I relate to the nuclear meltdown haha. My 9 balances me out here though, and my w4 and 4 in general makes that energy go inward rather than outward.

I go out of my way to be polite to you if I have to talk to you. Otherwise, you don't exist. If I sound cordial and formal, I DON'T LIKE YOU. Incidentally that's how people DON'T know I dislike them.


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I typically like most people, despite whatever I say jokingly. However, if there's someone who really irks me, I'll outright tell them. Example: there's this kid on my team who just smoked weed all the time and didn't always try in practice, and I'd yell at him all the time and be very blunt with him. However, if we're in a situation where we need to work together, I'll push all that aside and treat him as a friend. My animosity goes away very quickly, I'm not one to hold a grudge unless someone does something terrible.

I'm not really into disliking someone personally; people in general simply don't flit across my radar screen unless they've invaded my space or freedom in some way. But in the very rare instance I don't like someone, it can also be because of hypocritical behavior or ass-kissing. When I truly don't like someone, you'll probably notice that I won't talk to you; but then again, I don't talk to a lot of people, so that's hardly a confirmed way of telling if I like them or not. I do have a habit of getting sarcastic with people who try my patience, but ultimately if you want to know that information, ask me outright.

But in the end, you have to ask yourself, why does my opinion of you matter to you?