[firedell]

My grandparents had a friend over from Canada once, and brought up askjeeves, and said to her, "You can ask it anything." So she literally spoke to the computer.

[knightlevante]

"You've got to lose your weight, or else you won't find the perfect mate!"
Me: ((Oh yeah!? Then I've got to imitate someone who is thinner than me! Not just her body-built, but also personality, interests, style of communicating, etc etc!!!!))

"You should be more like her. She's calm outside and inside. That's contrary to you: Rough, brutal, man-like and -- (insert every boyishly violent characteristics here)" -- making me overshadowed even more and think that the only way to satisfy my parents (especially my father) is to imitate her (P.S.: she's one of my high school friend, but never got in the same class), risking loss of my true Self.

"What are those things called--Game!? No. No. No, it's reeeeaaalllly bad. It can make you more violent serial-killer or gangster," -- to which I argue upon and always win.

[Polo]

From my mother:
"You're going to look like a boy!" - whenever I want to do something, well, boyish
"But you looked so beautiful like that!" - whenever I curl my hair or put on makeup and heels
And recently, "College has changed her so much!" It really hasn't. I've just been away and now I'm appreciated.

From my father:
"She's run another one off. Doesn't keep them around." - when I stop dating the current boy. Extra annoying because he says it as if I'm bored, as if there wasn't an actual relationship I was striving for.
"As long as you're happy and getting good grades, that all I care about." - when I discuss nearly anything with him. He means well, but it really hurts that there's always a stipulation to my happiness. I have to be happy in ways he approves of.

[tangosthenes]

"'This thing X' is a necessary evil. Get over it."

Easy to say when your biggest life choice is what you're going to get at Starbucks.

[FreeBeer]

My dad: "Marriage is work. It's not just about love."

Your dad has a point thou.....*slowly nods in agreement*

[Dan E]

My mother: "But all the other girls are doing it!"

My father: "Leave me alone! I'm going to do things my way!"

[blackpeppergeneral]

Mom

"How do I do [insert technical problem]"

"Make [insert well spiced food], you always know how to spice things"

[nádej]

A few months ago I was at my parents' house for the weekend and we were watching something on TV. A UNICEF commercial came on (you know, with the starving children and the poverty and everyone looking very sad), and my mom's only comment was: "WOW, that kid has really big ears!"

He did have big ears, but also he was starving, so...

[Seeker99]

A few months ago I was at my parents' house for the weekend and we were watching something on TV. A UNICEF commercial came on (you know, with the starving children and the poverty and everyone looking very sad), and my mom's only comment was: "WOW, that kid has really big ears!"

He did have big ears, but also he was starving, so...

How sad is that? We're more shocked by funny looking features than by starving children. *shakes head*

[Greencup]

Mum: What's a hashtag?
Me: One of those # things.
Mum: Oh, why do they trend?