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Generation Y as parents

[Generation Y] 
1K views 7 replies 7 participants last post by  shameless 
#1 · (Edited)
Do you think that people born in 70's (also counting 1970 to 1976), 80's and 90's (including people born between 1995-1999) grow up to be the type of parents who are more socially aware of what goes on in the world and share their knowledge with their children, are more open-minded and not strict,allow their children to explore things more than previous generations?

I think people nowadays are more liberal and less conservative, but are they better as parents?
 
#4 ·
A girl I went to school with named her baby Roxas after the Kingdom Hearts character and that sums up my opinion of people my age reproducing

(99.99% of them shouldn't, that is)
 
#5 ·
I think I've found a balance. Strict in some things, more open in others. They have clear boundaries and expectations, but I'm perfectly fine letting them explore and make their own mistakes. Natural consequences are great motivators.
We have conversations and I know I'm more open than my parents were. Its hard to explain without specific situations.
My kids are 15, 13, 10 and 4.
 
#6 · (Edited)
My kids tell me all the time I parent like a coach. They mean a nice coach most of the time.
I both positively and negatively reinforce but put narrative with both.
They are told all the time I am not their friend 1st but their parent 1st.
But I am their friend 2nd

And I tell them I am their 'Mommy' on a reserve need be basis. What I mean by that is a lot of people only want to be one of those 3 roles. Mommy to me is the person who wants to enable children a lot by coddling. For affirmation and validation of feeling needed. This is very very much NOT me. The nurturer that is. There is a time and a place. It is not that I am not a nurturer ever I am but it is far more need be basis, i.e. Crisis, Sickness etc.

The friend parent I think is alotta what gen x tried to be with their kids. It's a good quality but not without the others to balance out. Kids NEED and respect some guidance.

I think baby boomers plus were strong on heavy parenting without the other stuff as much. Or the tail end were friend/nurturer. It is a great and necessary quality to be a friend and nurturing yes but parenting needs to be involved too. Just as you can not simply parent without any nurturing or friendship for good balance

Anyways I think my generation does make more strides for social progression etc. I do think when I observe many of the older gen y parents like myself and the younger gen x with kids in my kids age group they have a HUGE issue with TOO much nurturing. Sounds cold and more apathetic than what I mean it to sound. But I am seriously saying obvious it is subjective but OVER nurture is a thing. Alotta gen y wanna over coddle and nurture to overlap when they have to parent and over shadow. They may have more socially dynamic children in open minded ness etc but they have children who cannot handle constructive criticism, having their hand held thru a process. Because it is has become an extremely popular counter reaction to the other extreme which was over parenting.

What I think is unfortunate is people are selling their kids short in order to spare undesirable yuckies. Shielding your kids from feeling by sugar coating or bribing in distraction because you cannot handle discomfort is horrendous in my view. This are 10 yr olds walking around with their finger in their mouth or acting completely socially inappropriate for their age group when raising is the issue.

So NO the majority of gen Y does not have it right. All they did was the opposite of the other extreme in over parenting with no other attribute.

These momsters who are very indie mommy group like alotta bubble wrap and to always nurture.
Let me just say it is really annoying as fuck to all of us gen y and gen x who are not so psycho babble trendy.

I just wanna yell hey yo bitch when you talk in kindergarten school teacher voice to your 10 yr old who is annoying the fuck out of everyone in the room you just feed into his bullshit more. See how some of us have boundaries for our kids and our kids Are acting age appropriate it is because we have cause and effect not this self expressive let the child run the show bull shit.

Odd irony if you are really strict with common courtesy and consistent when you kids are young and parent hard your kids are the mature well behaved ones and you actually start to develop bond and friendship just rolling your eyes at everyone still chasing their kids around talking to them like they are special ed. You treat your kid soft and special ed and use over annunciation you end up getting a child who lives up to how you treat them.

Modern Day Family is a good example of what I am talking about with soft parenting if ya even wanna call it parenting because to me they don't parent they just nurture. Talking about Cam and Lily nothing about that dynamic is cute or endearing it makes sane people around wanna strap the child to a chair (just in mental fantasy not for real lol). Anyways that is alotta modern day parents. They do not feel comfortable with shame. Now I understand too much shame can be mental abuse but calling out shitty character develops things like empathy and considerations for others.

Oh it is also nice how the same people who do not want to immunize are also light on immigration and now things like measles are up when it is very preventable disease control. And seriously why is it the people who scream no vaccinations who did not vaccinate that still have kids who act like autism and autistic anyways. Maybe behavior and more environment related? .....

Anyways parenting no not alotta people in my generation PARENT a lot nurture ONLY and a lot like to be friends not a lot like to do things like parent. Irony parenting consistently young means easier child older. Provided you do not over parent and you do of course nurture too and provide some friendship

I am strict with certain things and other things lax
At their ages overall no need in their case for bed time. They tend to just go to bed at appropriate times on their own etc. Not a battle because they were already trained well.
I am pretty easy going about self expression, dialogue, and censorship it all has to do with content, environment, appropriating, and earning factors. I.e. Have grades above Cs, Do your chores, Be respectful (not just to me, but also each other I have a low squabbling tolerance). So basically if they are within my guidelines for expectations they have more PRIVILEGES (not entitled).

If they step outta line with my expectation than their privileges are revoked. Usually they like privileges so they opt to stay within my guidelines. I am sure to stay consistent tho either direction. Act like a shit head then no we go home. Get along awesome with very little instruction surprise outting, gift, or treat. Anyways They are at ages where I think it is important to let them experiment and experience the world on their own too. I.e. Pop culture, trends, self expression, etc but I give my view. They very much know how to behave and respect elders (I.e. Great grand parent, grand parent etc).

We have very raw open dialogue. About a lot of topics. Both ways. If I am going to dish it I better be able to take it. My only requirement is the delivery. I.e. No do not counter an issue you take with me in the midst of having to account or be called out for you own behavior. Take a genuine concern up with me in a way which is becoming and appropriate or I will stomp on the approach and tactic and say try again.

I dyed my youngest daughters hair ombre purple for the summer but with that I explained because you earned it by improving your quality of conduct, grades, and chores etc and the manner in which you communicate your needs. She felt pride in that she truly did earn it.
 
#8 ·
Damn lol. Sounds kind of harsh. Very 'military' sounding.

Sounds like when Bill Burr talks about his father, and the jokes he makes about him... or the jokes Dane Cook makes about his father lol.

"Do not talk to your mother and father when you're crying. Because what happens is your mom has the ability to make you weep even more, and your dad makes you feel like a fuckin' idiot. Your mom knows just the way to touch your heart, talking to your mom like "Hello, how is my baby angel? I was just thinking about my baby angel. Well you know what, they're jealous of you Dane, they're jealous. You know who your best friend is? Now give yourself a hug cause you rule", Thanks mom, you just know what to say, "Now here's your father", "Don't do that!!"

"Your dad gets on "Hey. What's going on, why do you sound like a babbling brook", I'm just having a tough day, you know, "Oh yea, you're havin' a tough fuckin' day... I was in Korea. I'm having a tough life. You don't even know the amount of tears I could cry, I could grow crops with my tears. Now take your dress off and end this little tea party"​

 
:laughing:

1. Well I am ST
2. My daughters dads are FP (so they make up for the compassionate side of things).
Haha I was laughing pretty hard at the mom impersonation because it is so much like my daughters dads.

I knew it would sound way way colder than I meant it.
Granted my kids know crying for the no apparent reason area I feel completely uncomfortable and freeze up and actually get more apathetic.

Not always tho. My daughter has boyfriends (not really more like going together stage) anyways the first time she had heart break I hugged her and we got ice cream and I took her for a drive and we blasted music. (See I just handle stuff different). Okay the 2nd time tho I was like well I told ya just to stop going together with these stupid lil punks and be free for a while. She goes into her room in an attempt to dwell and mope and puts on break up songs (lmao I swear to gawd I would not even do this myself) I was like this is creepy. She is like it makes me feel better (as she sobs). I was like yeah you look happy. Anyways I was like well you wanna drown your sorrows in sad songs for a little while go ahead if this persist I am gonna insist you bitch slap yourself and we go do something. Sobs okay mom. Hugs her and pats her on the back and kisses her cheek and gives her a look of wtf where she cannot help but smile. Goes to living room my youngest daughter NFP asks what's wrong with my eldest I said she enjoys being a main character in a lifetime movie depiction. I add kisses and hugs and reassurance but I am not going to feed that either. She always has a new boy she is going with.
 
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