Childhood Experiences

Hm...I'm not sure this is the best place to put it, but oh well. If anything I can move it, right? :)
Femme presented me with an interesting question the other day (actually I think it was yesterday or really early this morning like 1 am xD). It was something along the lines of whether or notI thought my chooldhood experience with a female "fuck buddy" (we were kids-- what did we know? We were just experimenting, even if our bodies hadn't matured yet, most likely we wanted to know what the craze was all about) influenced the fact that I'm bi today.
I thought it was a very good question. *claps for Femme* But I was hardly able to answer it then. I'm not sure if I could answer it now.
It is my belief that we have certain facotrs passed down genetically from our parents/grandparents/ ect. Our ancestors. But I also believe that that is not the only defining factor: Experiences, environment, and people shape us.
So, according to that, I would say yes-- my childhod experience did inlfuence my sexuality (Guess I enjoyed that as a child o.o Weird). But at the same timeI've had suspiscions about my father being bi himself. My mom is a terrible homophobic-- and there is absolutely no one on her side of the family that even has hints about being gay/bi/other.
However, my father was rumored to be gay in his college years and had a roommate/"friend" that he was very fond of. However, that friend died after they stopped living together and my dad and mom were married. In fact, my older sister says she remembers him and his friend walking along the beach holding hands. Even though she was young she remembered movies and equated that with love.
So is it something genetic, cultural, environmental, or what?
And a broader question is: How much do our childhood experiences help shape us into who we are today? Do they help define our personality/sexuality/state of mind/etc?

I think with women "bisexuality" is not typically genetic. Full on lesbian yes, but women in general seem to be more prone to some form of bisexuality. Even if the most they do is kiss a woman, the fact remains that women are interested in exploring the possibility. Men do not have this fantasy ( I am saying this in general).

Hmm. I thought essentially all girls were sex-crazed lesbians between the ages of 9 and 12. [I know I was.] Today, I am straight.

As far as other traits go, I think a lot of my characteristics are a result of my experiences. Keeping with sexuality, my boyfriend and I figured out a couple of weeks ago why I have a very difficult time climaxing, and then feel incredibly upset once I manage it. I'm near positive it is a result of my very first relationship, when I was, what, 14?


I thought I was just defective.

Originally Posted by TreeBob

I think with women "bisexuality" is not typically genetic. Full on lesbian yes, but women in general seem to be more prone to some form of bisexuality. Even if the most they do is kiss a woman, the fact remain that women are interesting in exploring the possibility. Men do not have this fantasy.

Sure some men do. Homoerotic behavior is just generally less acceptable in men. Women are expected to follow each other to the bathroom, and maybe hold hands when they walk. And a lot of men even encourage them to be openly sexual with each other.

[quote=ClubbedWithSpades;116524]Hmm. I thought essentially all girls were sex-crazed lesbians between the ages of 9 and 12. [I know I was.] Today, I am straight. [/qoute]
Could that age range be extended? XD

Originally Posted by ClubbedWithSpades

Sure some men do. Homoerotic behavior is just generally less acceptable in men. Women are expected to follow each other to the bathroom, and maybe hold hands when they walk. And a lot of men even encourage them to be openly sexual with each other.

I agree with this :)


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But not only having to do with sexuality (that's jus thow it started out)-- in general, how much to childhood experiences affect us?
I think they do. A lot. It's where a lot of our trauma's develop, as well as our behavior. Also, when we're young, I've been told we're like "sponges". We soak up information. Our brains are constantly on hyper mode-- we imitate our parents and teachers and classmates. Of course, we must have had a personality when we were children, right? In fact-- it must be there when we're born, ready to develop and not yet expressed. Is it possibly experiences change what we originally were?

Originally Posted by TreeBob

I think with women "bisexuality" is not typically genetic. Full on lesbian yes, but women in general seem to be more prone to some form of bisexuality. Even if the most they do is kiss a woman, the fact remain that women are interesting in exploring the possibility. Men do not have this fantasy.

I think this in an interesting theory-- but there have been reports of animal aside form humans who are bisexual. Is that something that's social for them too or what? Or maybe they just know they have this desire and the appropriate mate (one that would produce offspring with they copulated) isn't around?

I don't know if this helps at all. I never played the really young touch-n-go exploring games with a friend. I was far too introverted and quiet for all that. Or maybe my sexuality button didn't turn on until middle school?

Anyway. If it helps. When I was young, probably 8 or 9, I used to hang out with this girl Lindsay all the time. We were pretty good friends, I suppose. My parents didn't like her, but I'm getting off topic. Anyhow, we used to play "house" a lot, but the problem came with who was to be the "Daddy" and who was to be the "Mommy".

We eventually decided we could both be "Mommies" and I vaguely remember playing at her grandparents' home once. We had this really detailed fantasy, with different names and a pet dog and two daughters which were played by our imagination. All I can clearly recall was that when the "day" was over, we both laid down on her bed and cuddled/spooned as we pretend-slept. And she kissed me softly, reciting something her father always told her mother when they kissed.

It's kind of bizarre, I guess. I don't really think it made me gay, but whether or not my interactions with her shaped who I am... I don't know. I only knew her for a short time, maybe a school year and the summer that followed, before her family moved away. But we were very good friends for that short while and I guess a lot of my girlfriends have had similar personalities as she did.

Originally Posted by SuicidalMarshmallow

But not only having to do with sexuality (that's jus thow it started out)-- in general, how much to childhood experiences affect us?
I think they do. A lot. It's where a lot of our trauma's develop, as well as our behavior. Also, when we're young, I've been told we're like "sponges". We soak up information. Our brains are constantly on hyper mode-- we imitate our parents and teachers and classmates. Of course, we must have had a personality when we were children, right? In fact-- it must be there when we're born, ready to develop and not yet expressed. Is it possibly experiences change what we originally were?

I've always kind of thought that we begin as relatively blank slates, each with different framework for reacting to the world around us once we are old enough to properly perceive and understand it. Like... your experiences are like ingredients you're given, and nature chooses what you would be inclined to cook with them.

That's only my own idea, though.

Originally Posted by ClubbedWithSpades

I've always kind of thought that we begin as relatively blank slates, each with different framework for reacting to the world around us once we are old enough to properly perceive and understand it. Like... your experiences are like ingredients you're given, and nature chooses what you would be inclined to cook with them.

That's only my own idea, though.

I really like that metaphor. I think that theory is the closest to what I also think in regards to who we are and how we become the people we are.

Originally Posted by SuicidalMarshmallow

I think this in an interesting theory-- but there have been reports of animal aside form humans who are bisexual. Is that something that's social for them too or what? Or maybe they just know they have this desire and the appropriate mate (one that would produce offspring with they copulated) isn't around?

Are you talking about animals being gay? I can't speak for them. One would assume animals can be gay like everyone else though. Dog hump anything that walks, sometimes it doesn't even have to walk.

I had a similar experience when I was younger. For a second I wondered if I knew you because the situation seemed so odd, but I guess more people do it then I thought.