The stone heart.

Originally Posted by Bear

How do you think the one extreme of a hard heart compares to the other end... a heart that is easy to hurt, and loves everyone.

Well, I'm admittedly totally biased, simple as that! and a mushy heart doesn't = weak. A mushy heart can be exceedingly strong, in fact, a mushy heart would perhaps be less likely to crack under pressure. Flexible, with the same benefits as water, as Master Bruce might point out.

This is somewhat off topic but I really listen more to an entj if he/she gives me a compliment or shows care in some way...compared to well...I dunno anyone. I think I like they actually mean exactly what they say....and do not exaggerate one bit. I feel like I can finally take this compliment seriously and not question "did they mean that?" "were they trying to make me feel better?". ...ya

So ...I dunno ...ya

Originally Posted by thehigher

This is somewhat off topic but I really listen more to an entj if he/she gives me a compliment or shows care in some way...compared to well...I dunno anyone. I think I like they actually mean exactly what they say....and do not exaggerate one bit. I feel like I can finally take this compliment seriously and not question "did they mean that?" "were they trying to make me feel better?". ...ya

So ...I dunno ...ya

No... this is exactly on topic. My original question was along the lines of permanence of a hard hearted person making room for you in their heart. Another aspect of that to me is most certainly the value of the sentiment. How much is something valued when it is given to everyone for free?

Originally Posted by thehigher

This is somewhat off topic but I really listen more to an entj if he/she gives me a compliment or shows care in some way...compared to well...I dunno anyone. I think I like they actually mean exactly what they say....and do not exaggerate one bit. I feel like I can finally take this compliment seriously and not question "did they mean that?" "were they trying to make me feel better?". ...ya

So ...I dunno ...ya

yeah, i mean, if you're not trying to compare and simply trying to look at the positives, i imagine the effort of carving out a space says a lot. for sure. you can bet if someone goes to such lengths they're going to mean it. though there are just as many varieties of stone hearts as mushy hearts i imagine. case by case basis, any such comparison.

Originally Posted by Bear

No... this is exactly on topic. My original question was along the lines of permanence of a hard hearted person making room for you in their heart. Another aspect of that to me is most certainly the value of the sentiment. How much is something valued when it is given to everyone for free?

Ya ...I think this is the trouble a lot of people have with ENFJs. People will say "they treat me great.....but they treat everyone great....so who cares?"

Originally Posted by Peace&Quiet

yeah, i mean, if you're not trying to compare and simply trying to look at the positives, i imagine the effort of carving out a space says a lot. for sure. you can bet if someone goes to such lengths they're going to mean it. though there are just as many varieties of stone hearts as mushy hearts i imagine. case by case basis, any such comparison.

yea....gosh subjectivity haha....I swear every discussion ends this way. I agree with you though.

Originally Posted by Bear

When a stone heart has a room carved out for you... I suspect that space is yours longer than one made out of mushier material.

ESFP Rainy Day relief, Darling.

Originally Posted by Bear

No... this is exactly on topic. My original question was along the lines of permanence of a hard hearted person making room for you in their heart. Another aspect of that to me is most certainly the value of the sentiment. How much is something valued when it is given to everyone for free?

how real is permanence though? a carved space in a concrete form can't ebb and flow, it can change and adjust, it can't grow, not without additional chipping. and sometimes outside factors cause the carved out space to cave in and crush you. THAT sucks.

and it's not black and white, the mushy heart doesn't necessarily give to everyone for free, without it being earned. it's not really an accurate comparison, to say it's a small permanent space vs a free love free for all.

I believe it is possible to love many people uniquely without any of them being less special to the one who loves. This is the ideal, in fact, and something only God is truly capable of doing successfully, with total love and total awareness of what it is He is loving. In a romantic relationship, security comes from exclusivity, but even a person who is generally loving to everyone can choose to bestow the gift of security upon a single chosen one, who is then seen as part of the self as well as distinct from it.
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Originally Posted by snail

I believe it is possible to love many people uniquely without any of them being less special to the one who loves. This is the ideal, in fact, and something only God is truly capable of doing successfully, with total love and total awareness of what it is He is loving. In a romantic relationship, security comes from exclusivity, but even a person who is generally loving to everyone can choose to bestow the gift of security upon a single chosen one, who is then seen as part of the self as well as distinct from it.
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well said!! i totally agree.