Men without a mother figure

So I've heard, and possibly seen first hand, that women raised without a father figure in their life seek out the attention of men and want all of their attention. Assuming this is a true situation, is there a similar case with men without a mother figure? Do the men have much less self esteem and seek the approval of women? Or perhaps it comes out differently in that the man just has a terrible understanding of female needs in general?

Anyone hear of anything like this? Thanks.

bump .

Interesting question. Generally, men are quicker to remarry, so this situation seldom develops. I have noticed that boys raised in homes without a mother tend to be a bit more bottled up and less in touch with their emotions. And that the girls raised in homes without a mother tend to watch other couples very carefully as though they were trying to observe proper male/female protocol and interaction when in a relationship.

I am speaking mostly of adolescents.

Interesting that you should ask.

That is actually an outdated theory on child development that if a girl or boy is rasied in a home without the opposite influance, they will become promiscuous and needy. At the time of this theroy, they really had no cross section and/or cohorts to study so they assumed certain things. Now of course, they are finding this is simply not true, a strong and well adjusted mother or father can sucessfully raise an opposite sex child without the influance of the other sex. They now have ample studies to back this up. Of course, they also did not take into account the roles of teachers, Uncles, Aunts plus Grandparents on a child. Certainly there will be both sexes of grandparents or teachers they are exposed to. No child is raised in a vacuum. Many well adjusted children were raised in one parent homes with out the other parent.

You probably ran into some women who just had issues.

Originally Posted by killerB

Interesting that you should ask.

That is actually an outdated theory on child development that if a girl or boy is rasied in a home without the opposite influance, they will become promiscuous and needy. At the time of this theroy, they really had no cross section and/or cohorts to study so they assumed certain things. Now of course, they are finding this is simply not true, a strong and well adjusted mother or father can sucessfully raise an opposite sex child without the influance of the other sex. They now have ample studies to back this up. Of course, they also did not take into account the roles of teachers, Uncles, Aunts plus Grandparents on a child. Certainly there will be both sexes of grandparents or teachers they are exposed to. No child is raised in a vacuum. Many well adjusted children were raised in one parent homes with out the other parent.

You probably ran into some women who just had issues.

I think this response is problematic in some of the implications. While it is true that a strong, well balanced individual can successfully raise a child of the opposite sex, to imply that they can do it almost single handedly is erroneous. I do appreciate the nod to extended family and community, albeit later in the post. It would take a great deal of help for said parent to be successful in their raising of this child. In contrast, it is also true that a healthy, trained, and athletic individual can run a four minute mile. However, it is not likely to be an attainable goal for most of us.

All else being the same, there is little doubt that a two parent home is the best environment for raising children.

Hi, do you watch 2 and a Half Men?
You know, this will help lots.
Trust me on this one, I'm not joking.

I'll have to post later, can't seem to get my thoughts out sucessfully.

Originally Posted by niss63

While it is true that a strong, well balanced individual can successfully raise a child of the opposite sex, to imply that they can do it almost single handedly is erroneous. I do appreciate the nod to extended family and community, albeit later in the post. It would take a great deal of help for said parent to be successful in their raising of this child. In contrast, it is also true that a healthy, trained, and athletic individual can run a four minute mile. However, it is not likely to be an attainable goal for most of us. All else being the same, there is little doubt that a two parent home is the best environment for raising children.

the suggestion that it would be erroneous to think an individual could successfully manage raising a child of the opposite sex almost singlehandedly is misguided.

beginning as a 17yr old single parent i raised a girl and then three boys almost single handedly, i also managed this whilst successfully extricating myself over a period of several years from a violent and abusive relationship with the children's father during which time my ex genuinely did more harm than good during the extremely short periods he was around (he spent most of our marriage either at sea, in a bar, or asleep), both to myself and his children, i had virtually no help from my family or supportive input from any male members of my ex's family, it hasnt been easy at times, especially coming to terms with all that testosterone flying around, but teenage girls are a handful too, in slightly different ways.

Despite this my boys have turned out well mannered, articulate,indpendent, thoughtful, considerate, intelligent and well balanced young men... of course time will tell how they ultimately turn out but so far the signs seem very good...even if i do say so myself

Having achieved this against such very difficult odds, i strongly dispute your suggestion that it would take a great deal of help for one parent to raise one child (be it of the opposite gender or otherwise) successfully, it may not be easy, raising children rarely is, no matter how many parents you have, but if one finds oneself in such a situation, it most certainly should be seen as an attainable goal, especially given the alternative,

if i had to learn to run a four minute mile in order for my boys to be successfully raised, i would, its amazing what a parent will and can do for their child

I find it troubling that only 4 responses into this topic and we are discussing a single mom raising 3 boys. I can imagine how hard that is and kudos to anyone who does it well, but fatherless kids, as rough as that is..are everywhere and studied to pieces. As a man who lost his mom suddenly at 9yrs, I can barely find 1 book or article on how that situation has effected all of my romantic relationships. My dad did he best he could, but I had zero females in my life growing up. I raised 2 wonderful young ladies and they are the light of my life, but I had to do it with a broken drama spouse..the only kind of woman I ever seem to pair up with. I have had to leave her to try and save what is left of my life, but now I am middle age, lonely and with no idea whhat a healthy relationship looks like or how to have one. It is truely sad how little info there is out there on this subject. I can't be the only one.

In regards to women without a father figure - my great, great, grandfather commited suicide - which may have an effect on the effect on the child -, his daughter ended up becoming very indisposed to display affection, which was passed down in part to her daughter, and as I see it in my Grandma, there's no obvious searching for the affections/aproval of men (Though she's old).

I'm afraid I can't say for men without a mother figure, it really does seem to be lacking study.

Though from a google search, the few posts which do come up with suggestions there will be issues in relationships with women - either being clingy - fearful, or not trusting them, or not respecting them.