Misanthropy - is there a cure? A treatment?

Misanthropy - is there a cure? A treatment?

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This is a discussion on Misanthropy - is there a cure? A treatment? within the General Psychology forums, part of the Topics of Interest category; Maybe my question is a bit misleading, but I'm trying to understand why I care so deeply about individual people, ...

  1. #1

    Misanthropy - is there a cure? A treatment?

    Maybe my question is a bit misleading, but I'm trying to understand why I care so deeply about individual people, even (maybe especially) ones I have just met, and yet have so much contempt for humanity in general. I'm a news junkie and can't stay away from the headlines even though most of the stories make me sick. But it's not just in the media, it's also in the business community, the local social scene...

    The dilemma is that, on one hand, I'm sometimes afraid to show people how much I deeply care about their problems because they might question my motives (which are sincere) and push me away. I don't want to feel like I'm some creep. Yet at the same time, I can't seem to get over my disdain of the general human population.

    I've felt this way for a very long time, so it's not as if I've never thought of just "changing my attitude" - please don't suggest that - it won't work.

    Any advice? Anyone else feel the same way?
    Kanon, Rustang, Quin Sabe and 2 others thanked this post.



  2. #2

    You could attempt to make your mind go blank every time you react like that. I have unlearned some emotional reactions in this manner. It is a crude and lengthy process, and is rather steep and seemingly fruitless at first, however, it worked in the end.

    You could attempt seek out people that fit some of the "kinds of people" you are upset about the most and see if you can become comfortable with them in some way.

    There is also meditation, but frankly speaking, being in meditation is a very blanket term for diving into a lot of (extremely many) different sorts of states of mind. Some of these, when applied to you for chunks of the day can in general lead to a lower frequency of automatic negative reactions as well as a less serious negative reaction.
    Disclaimer: This can also happen with some positive ones. You can also gain some new kinds of reactions. be careful and make sure that how you are when you meditate is not detrimental to yourself. As much "nothingness" as possible is preferable to avoid negative outcomes. Forcing through states with willpower is highly discouraged.
    addle1618 and Just_Some_Guy thanked this post.

  3. #3

    I think if you're dissapointed with humanity as a whole, there's a feeling of powerlessness that can lead you to disdain what you can't change. There was something in the news recently that keeping the TV on news or opinion shows can raise your blood pressure. They recommended turning it off. I do that because I stress over the news. I put myself in everyone's shoes and feel terrible. So I limit my viewing.

    If you easily feel love for individuals (a very NFP kind of thing) than you should enjoy that and be yourself. You might find people will know you're sincere if you ask about them, and if they don't, it might be thier own filters and past that make it hard for them to trust. I say love as it comes and be the friend you want to be. Some will respond and others wont.

    I'm so curious about people and I've found, most are not offended when I ask personal questions because they can tell I'm sincere. I bet it will be the same for you.
    Rustang, napoleon227 and MilkyWay132 thanked this post.

  4. #4

    You may just need to change your approach. The first thing you may want to do is just be upfront with people you care deeply for and let them know that it puts your soul at rest when you see them lifted up out of their situation. Usually, people will not question hidden motives if you let them know that you are helping them for intrinsic value or peace of mind. If they do not wish to accept your help or guidance at that point, well, then that is their loss. Don't feel discouraged though. ^-^

    Some people just do not want help, and once I realize that, I wish them the best and move on.

  5. #5

    Quote Originally Posted by Kanon View Post
    You may just need to change your approach. The first thing you may want to do is just be upfront with people you care deeply for and let them know that it puts your soul at rest when you see them lifted up out of their situation. Usually, people will not question hidden motives if you let them know that you are helping them for intrinsic value or peace of mind. If they do not wish to accept your help or guidance at that point, well, then that is their loss. Don't feel discouraged though. ^-^

    Some people just do not want help, and once I realize that, I wish them the best and move on.
    Thanks for the reply. But I don't really have much problem with individuals, I just can't relate to the "masses". The difference is that with the "masses" everything gets boiled down to the lowest common denominator. People (in general) don't care about "the truth". They don't care about "facts". And they don't particularly care about other people either, especially ones who might be a little different. I'm sick of the mindless tribalism, the us -vs.- them mentality, the shallowness, narrow-mindedness. I've studied history and I know it has always been that way and probably will never change. It's a depressing thought. I wish there were another planet where thoughtful, caring people could live and let the morons kill each other back on earth. I guess that's why I spend so much time on PerC!

    Sorry about the rant! (but I feel better)
    Just_Some_Guy and Kanon thanked this post.

  6. #6

    Quote Originally Posted by napoleon227 View Post
    Thanks for the reply. But I don't really have much problem with individuals, I just can't relate to the "masses". The difference is that with the "masses" everything gets boiled down to the lowest common denominator. People (in general) don't care about "the truth". They don't care about "facts". And they don't particularly care about other people either, especially ones who might be a little different. I'm sick of the mindless tribalism, the us -vs.- them mentality, the shallowness, narrow-mindedness. I've studied history and I know it has always been that way and probably will never change. It's a depressing thought. I wish there were another planet where thoughtful, caring people could live and let the morons kill each other back on earth. I guess that's why I spend so much time on PerC!

    Sorry about the rant! (but I feel better)
    That is true. The masses probably aren't interested in 'the truth' because truth is very hard to define since there are many ideas of what truth can be. I'm under the impression that people would rather stick to their own version of truth and look down upon others who follow a different philosophy. Some go to extremes, like waging war to force their beliefs on others, while others may just flat out reject those with a different view. There is a post from the member VagrantFarce on typology central (Inferior Projection - Typology Central) who sort of summed up the idea through typology. I personally think this is found in unhealthy types... but I also believe that the world we live in is pretty unhealthy...
    anyway, here it is:

    INJ (se): "...such a brutal, sensate landscape. why do people settle for animalistic immediacy? I'm not an animal, that's for sure. I'll conceive my own reality, on my own terms."
    ITP (fe): "...people are so easily manipulated and shallow. I can see how things really work, I couldn't possibly play along. Isn't anyone able to think for themselves?"
    IFP (te): "...individuals are so divided and discouraged, for such horrid impersonal reasons. I pay attention to how people feel, and that's more important than anything."
    ISJ (ne): "...such chaos and nonsense, it would all self-destruct if it wasn't for those of us keeping check of things. Do people really want things to fall apart?"

    EFJ (ti): "...cold, hard logic doesn't go anywhere toward helping people. where would we be without each other? why risk breaking that neccessary bond?"
    ETJ (fi) "...people are so unwilling to take charge, too afraid of stepping on someone else's toes just to get something done. I get things done, I have the balls to see how life really works."
    ENP (si) "...immobility never lasts, the earth never sits still. If you just sit in one place, how could you possibly go anywhere?"
    ESP (ni) "...trying to repress your own instincts only serves to heighten them. why are people so frightened of what's right in front of their nose?"
    Rustang, napoleon227 and Pogona Vitticeps thanked this post.

  7. #7

    Quote Originally Posted by napoleon227 View Post
    Thanks for the reply. But I don't really have much problem with individuals, I just can't relate to the "masses". The difference is that with the "masses" everything gets boiled down to the lowest common denominator. People (in general) don't care about "the truth". They don't care about "facts". And they don't particularly care about other people either, especially ones who might be a little different. I'm sick of the mindless tribalism, the us -vs.- them mentality, the shallowness, narrow-mindedness. I've studied history and I know it has always been that way and probably will never change. It's a depressing thought. I wish there were another planet where thoughtful, caring people could live and let the morons kill each other back on earth. I guess that's why I spend so much time on PerC!

    Sorry about the rant! (but I feel better)
    I could have written this. So don't worry about "the rant". Come on, don't you know yet we are not going to be able to stomach that stuff on t.v.? I personally do not have cable. The news there is filtered down anyway. Why watch something that creates so much fear and sadness? It doesn't do me any good.

    I was writing about my fear of "group mentality" last night. It is so hard for me. And if you've studied history you've probably backed yourself into a corner or into another world and are waiting for the rest of the world to catch up. It is a lonely place. Sorry. Hopefully every now and then you will cross paths with another person who sees things this way as well.

    I've studied history and I know it has always been that way and probably will never change.
    Oh no? Technology has gotten better and better. Our ability to communicate with one another has gotten worse and worse. I think this is key. I believe there is an answer there somewhere. I have NOT given up hope.

    Thank you for posting this btw. Sometimes I don't feel that people would really believe my motives if I were to post something like this.

  8. #8

    Quote Originally Posted by pinkrasputin View Post
    I could have written this. So don't worry about "the rant". Come on, don't you know yet we are not going to be able to stomach that stuff on t.v.? I personally do not have cable. The news there is filtered down anyway. Why watch something that creates so much fear and sadness? It doesn't do me any good.
    Well, I don't watch TV (don't have cable either), I read mostly, but your point is valid either way. It's a good question. I'm addicted, I guess. I keep hoping that good sense will prevail, and sometimes it does, but the forces of bigotry and self-righteousness never rest! I guess it's kind of like watching the train wreck, or the multi-car pileup: you might cringe, but you have to look anyway.

    Quote Originally Posted by pinkrasputin View Post
    I was writing about my fear of "group mentality" last night. It is so hard for me. And if you've studied history you've probably backed yourself into a corner or into another world and are waiting for the rest of the world to catch up. It is a lonely place. Sorry. Hopefully every now and then you will cross paths with another person who sees things this way as well.
    Yes that's basically true. That's one reason I'm here I guess. I love the people on this board, even the ones I disagree with. I have a lot of friends offline who understand this too. I guess the problem is not coming across individuals who can relate - that happens. The problem is what to do with the general public at large. I could withdraw, but then I can't be of much use. Or, I can get involved and do my best while holding my nose and trying not to puke. That is the dilemma.

    Quote Originally Posted by pinkrasputin View Post
    Oh no? Technology has gotten better and better. Our ability to communicate with one another has gotten worse and worse. I think this is key. I believe there is an answer there somewhere. I have NOT given up hope.
    I couldn't agree more. My next career move will involve teaching communication. I already have the technology background but still have a lot to learn (and more to prove) on the communication side. Is there even such a discipline? I don't think so, but maybe someone will enlighten me. And I have not given up hope either.

    Quote Originally Posted by pinkrasputin View Post
    Thank you for posting this btw. Sometimes I don't feel that people would really believe my motives if I were to post something like this.
    Well thanx for reading it. It's always interesting to "spar" with someone who has strong opinions but is open to others (as per my signature quote below). You have my respect. As to other people questioning your motives... Well! Here I was thinking that you didn't give a shit what other people thought!

  9. #9

    Quote Originally Posted by napoleon227 View Post
    Well, I don't watch TV (don't have cable either), I read mostly, but your point is valid either way. It's a good question. I'm addicted, I guess. I keep hoping that good sense will prevail, and sometimes it does, but the forces of bigotry and self-righteousness never rest! I guess it's kind of like watching the train wreck, or the multi-car pileup: you might cringe, but you have to look anyway.



    Yes that's basically true. That's one reason I'm here I guess. I love the people on this board, even the ones I disagree with. I have a lot of friends offline who understand this too. I guess the problem is not coming across individuals who can relate - that happens. The problem is what to do with the general public at large. I could withdraw, but then I can't be of much use. Or, I can get involved and do my best while holding my nose and trying not to puke. That is the dilemma.



    I couldn't agree more. My next career move will involve teaching communication. I already have the technology background but still have a lot to learn (and more to prove) on the communication side. Is there even such a discipline? I don't think so, but maybe someone will enlighten me. And I have not given up hope either.



    Well thanx for reading it. It's always interesting to "spar" with someone who has strong opinions but is open to others (as per my signature quote below). You have my respect. As to other people questioning your motives... Well! Here I was thinking that you didn't give a shit what other people thought!
    My "don't care" ness is a defense mechanism against the scary group. It is also the way I try to protect others. But I love individuals.

  10. #10

    Quote Originally Posted by pinkrasputin View Post
    My "don't care" ness is a defense mechanism against the scary group. It is also the way I try to protect others.
    I thought so. I happen to know a little about ENFPs and sometimes your tone seemed a bit defensive (in other posts, not this one) so I try to just focus on the point you're making. It's always interesting. Cheers.


 
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