3 Simple Fears

3 Simple Fears

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This is a discussion on 3 Simple Fears within the General Psychology forums, part of the Topics of Interest category; While doing some self analyzing, this theory came to me that people have 1 of 3 deepest fears at the ...

  1. #1

    3 Simple Fears

    While doing some self analyzing, this theory came to me that people have 1 of 3 deepest fears at the root of a lot of their other fears.


    These are:

    Fear of Emotional/Mental Pain

    Fear of Humiliation/Embarrassment

    Fear of Being Flawed/Imperfect


    Yes, they are very oversimplified, but I love simplifying things. It's like reducing fractions.

    Mine is fear of pain, what's yours?



  2. #2

    Death, space and the ocean. Things that are infinite and empty. Has had me sweating cold in paralyzed fear in the past. I don't fear death per se. I can't imagine it. But in the past I was and I would try to imagine it and seeing it as infinite as well as nothing at all just made me so uncomfortable. Things like the ocean make me feel a similar way. But it's to a lesser degree because I know the ocean hits the oceanic crust at some point. Space is more similar. I've watched videos of astronauts out in space, and they sometimes have a small window looking towards earth. Imagining what Space is like is terrifying. I couldn't look away from earth towards anything else.Space is exactly the infinite nothingness I imagine death to be like (minus the stars and stuff). Except you are that infinite nothingness. Like I said, I don't fear death. Just the notion of it being infinite as well as nothing.

    This post describes it well.

    As a child raised in a Christian household, I learned at a young age that our souls are eternal and go to heaven after we die. We go on forever, no one you love is ever really gone, etc. I think this was supposed to comfort me, but instead, I was horrified. “How long is that?” I asked my mom. “Like, when do I stop existing?” I’d ask. “You never do! It’s forever!” came the cheerful reply. And then panic would ensue.

    I think every weird kid—maybe that just means every kid—has (at least) one thing that trips them up that doesn’t seem to affect anyone else. For some people it’s noticing your heartbeat for the first time. For others it’s the very idea of death. A friend of mine was scarred forever when she noticed how glitter enters and sticks to every nook and cranny it can find. For me, it was the idea of forever. Infinity was far too big a concept to wrap my young brain around. It terrified me.

    While my sister had nightmares about the old McDonald’s-commercial villan Hamburglar (and that guy was creepy), my bad dreams were just objects spinning in mid-air forever, or conversations that were happening so slowly that they would never stop. One day in science class our teacher told us about how if you’re ever in space and you’re pushed slightly, you’ll just keep moving in that direction…forever. I was unable to sleep for weeks. I just kept picturing myself endlessly flying through the cold, harsh loneliness of space. The rollerskating rink I frequented had a highly reflective, icy-looking floor that was probably some cheap version of marble, and I developed an intense fear that if I fell, I would just break through that floor and keep falling. What was under that floor? Was there another floor? If not, would I fall forever? I couldn’t bring myself to skate there until they replaced the fake-marble floor to a non-reflective (and, frankly, safer) wooden one.

    I thought about forever constantly. I thought about what it might mean, and what heaven and hell might be, and what it meant for something to never, ever end. With grownup eyes, I can see now that my fear was a combination of not being able to process such a lofty concept, plus the sheer unknowability of infinity (the unknown is always very scary). If something starts and doesn’t stop, what would it look like on day 14? Day 992? Day 2,924,728? The same every time? Different? When things are so open-ended, there is no sense of closure and no way of controlling outcomes—and I think that’s ultimately what was so scary to me.
    Last edited by Gossip Goat; 03-17-2017 at 11:33 PM.

  3. #3

    All of those things are connected.. Humiliation/embarrassment are Emotional and mental pain. People fear humiliation and embarrassment because they fear being rejected. The same reason they fear being flawed/imperfect. The pain is just a by-product of these.
    Bipedal P 314, Wild and warxzawa thanked this post.

  4. #4

    I feel weird sometimes for not being scared of death, I kinda accepted the fact that it will come and what is meant to be will be. Anyways, im more terrified of simple things like spiders and heights.

  5. #5

    I think my biggest fear is being outrightly criticized and disliked... and being rejected/ left out. I don't mind being in disagreement, not being universally loved, sometimes getting in arguments, etc. As long as people let me hang out and pretty much like me. If were someone were to actively push me away or criticize me harshly to my face, I don't know how I would deal with it.

    Another biggest fear of mine is accidentally hurting someone badly, or anything that would cause me to be haunted with guilt. Guilt just seems like the worst feeling there is. The idea of something bad happening and having it be MY FAULT... Seems like automatically worse than any other bad feeling you could have.

    So basically anything having to do with shame/ humiliation/guilt... etc.
    OrangeYou thanked this post.

  6. #6

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeYou View Post
    While doing some self analyzing, this theory came to me that people have 1 of 3 deepest fears at the root of a lot of their other fears.
    How does one come up with a theory about people in general through analyzing oneself?

    These are:

    Fear of Emotional/Mental Pain

    Fear of Humiliation/Embarrassment

    Fear of Being Flawed/Imperfect
    Dunno what you were thinking, but this list screams "first world problems." Where is fear of starving to death and physical harm?
    Ntwadumela thanked this post.

  7. #7

    You should look up the enneagram.
    nichya and Wild thanked this post.

  8. #8

    Quote Originally Posted by Skeletalz View Post
    You should look up the enneagram.
    I know each enneagram has their biggest fear. I just feel like these three kind of simplify those even more

  9. #9

    Quote Originally Posted by bentHnau View Post
    How does one come up with a theory about people in general through analyzing oneself?
    Just how my brain works. I'm guessing you don't value Ni all that much.

    Quote Originally Posted by bentHnau View Post
    Dunno what you were thinking, but this list screams "first world problems." Where is fear of starving to death and physical harm?
    Pretty sure if you're on this website those things are not part of your daily life, am I wrong?

  10. #10

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeYou View Post
    I know each enneagram has their biggest fear. I just feel like these three kind of simplify those even more
    Is that necessary? Do you gain anything from simplifying this even further or do you lose value to obscurity? In a broad sense, youve described new centers based on the types' fears, I dont see the point of it.


     
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