What is your dark side?

Considering the darkside of each personality becomes apparent at least once in times of stress or excess.

Do you think the dark side you display is your MBTI inverted?

If so, elaborate.

If not, explain.

My dark side... very personal and difficult to answer. If I reveal my dark side you will discover my weakness which in turn can be used against me. No thank you.

haha i agree with lance

I wish I didn't have a dark side. I never turn into an ESTJ, even when I am pushed into a "fight or flight" situation. I usually flee, or if that is not an option, I become defensively aggressive in a non-physical way. I never attack a known vulnerability of the individual I fear, but instead tend to lash out in an expressive way that is not tailored to the weaknesses of the specific person who is hurting me. I might label an aggressor for being cruel, perhaps in a frustrated tone of voice if I can speak through my tears. I don't yell unless I am desperate, and even then, it is not an offensive hostility. It is just an extension of my crying, an attempt to show the other person that he can stop hurting me because I have been sufficiently damaged. If he offers no mercy, I can only tell the other person I think he is being cruel, often loudly using the strongest language that naturally comes to mind, before attempting to escape any further damage by removing myself from the situation. I might call an insensitive person an "asshole" if he hurts me badly enough, and I might slam the door when I run away from the situation. That is my dark side. I am not infinitely patient, and sometimes I can't silently turn the other cheek because doing so would leave me so wounded that I would have no cheek left to turn. Psychologically, I get to a point where I have no emotional reserves left in order to heal from wounds that just keep coming. I can pray, but when the brain chemistry is altered and there is a physical source for the negative feelings floating around in my system, the damage has already been done. I will hurt below the ribs for a minimum of two days before it regulates enough that I can function without the bodily pain that comes from the stress of being helpless in a threatening situation. This need not be a physically threatening situation. I have experienced it here at personalitycafe.com, and in chat rooms where there was no physical danger at all.

I feel like I have no defense against merciless people who can't understand what it is like to be highly sensitive and insist on blaming me for not being able to alter my body's naturally intense response to certain things that do not affect them in the same ways. "Just get over it," "Don't be so sensitive," "It's your fault you were hurt because your weakness invited attack," "Move on. You're holding onto your pain by thinking about it." This one is especially bad because it takes me a long time to heal from painful experiences. I can only do so if I am able to discuss it openly at length with someone who is empathetic. When people say this, they deny me the necessary time to recover and attempt to make me feel guilty for not feeling okay without any external support. This statement punishes me for not doing something that I am incapable of. Essentially, it is the equivalent of saying that if I don't jump to the moon, I deserve criticism for failing to try hard enough. It is like telling a drowning man who can't swim that he doesn't need a life preserver, and that he should just stop drowning. All of these statements express a lack of understanding and empathy, and compound the suffering. In my desperation, I am likely to tell the person who is making my problem worse that he or she is behaving like a jerk, asshole, bully, or some other synonym that applies to my perception of the insensitive and psychologically destructive behavior.

Originally Posted by Lance

My dark side... very personal and difficult to answer. If I reveal my dark side you will discover my weakness which in turn can be used against me. No thank you.

For all you know Lance, I could very well know them already.
If we only hear an account of your dark-side, perhaps you could allow individuals to create an image and allow themselves to assess the matter subjectively.

Originally Posted by snail

I wish I didn't have a dark side. I never turn into an ESTJ, even when I am pushed into a "fight or flight" situation. I usually flee, or if that is not an option, I become defensively aggressive in a non-physical way. I never attack a known vulnerability of the individual I fear, but instead tend to lash out in an expressive way that is not tailored to the weaknesses of the specific person who is hurting me. I might label an aggressor for being cruel, perhaps in a frustrated tone of voice if I can speak through my tears. I don't yell unless I am desperate, and even then, it is not an offensive hostility. It is just an extension of my crying, an attempt to show the other person that he can stop hurting me because I have been sufficiently damaged. If he offers no mercy, I can only tell the other person I think he is being cruel, often loudly using the strongest language that naturally comes to mind, before attempting to escape any further damage by removing myself from the situation. I might call an insensitive person an "asshole" if he hurts me badly enough, and I might slam the door when I run away from the situation. That is my dark side. I am not infinitely patient, and sometimes I can't silently turn the other cheek because doing so would leave me so wounded that I would have no cheek left to turn. Psychologically, I get to a point where I have no emotional reserves left in order to heal from wounds that just keep coming. I can pray, but when the brain chemistry is altered and there is a physical source for the negative feelings floating around in my system, the damage has already been done. I will hurt below the ribs for a minimum of two days before it regulates enough that I can function without the bodily pain that comes from the stress of being helpless in a threatening situation. This need not be a physically threatening situation. I have experienced it here at personalitycafe.com, and in chat rooms where there was no physical danger at all.

I feel like I have no defense against merciless people who can't understand what it is like to be highly sensitive and insist on blaming me for not being able to alter my body's naturally intense response to certain things that do not affect them in the same ways. "Just get over it," "Don't be so sensitive," "It's your fault you were hurt because your weakness invited attack," "Move on. You're holding onto your pain by thinking about it." This one is especially bad because it takes me a long time to heal from painful experiences. I can only do so if I am able to discuss it openly at length with someone who is empathetic. When people say this, they deny me the necessary time to recover and attempt to make me feel guilty for not feeling okay without any external support. This statement punishes me for not doing something that I am incapable of. Essentially, it is the equivalent of saying that if I don't jump to the moon, I deserve criticism for failing to try hard enough. It is like telling a drowning man who can't swim that he doesn't need a life preserver, and that he should just stop drowning. All of these statements express a lack of understanding and empathy, and compound the suffering. In my desperation, I am likely to tell the person who is making my problem worse that he or she is behaving like a jerk, asshole, bully, or some other synonym that applies to my perception of the insensitive and psychologically destructive behavior.

Thank you for sharing Snail.

I am not a very empathetic person snail, I would not object to your discussions of said hurt times. I would remain sympathetic and make a note not to voice any opinions in that time. As Ts do not feel as much as we analyze. Listening isn't quite as difficult.

Well, to understand my dark side, I have to explain my "light" side first.

Normally, I'm very reserved, polite, trying to keep perspective on the situation and not blow it out of proportion, react appropriately. I don't talk very loudly or make large movements, and get startled easily. Even when I get mad, the most I usually do is give an intense glare, breath harder, and tense my muscles. Disappointment usually just results in walking/working more slowly and in a slumped position, in addition to possibly eating more and less healthy food.

When my dark side comes, though... look out! I'll start cursing, screaming, throwing, stomping, kicking and hitting things... possibly even biting them. If a person is unfortunate enough to be around when this happens, they might be one of those things that I hit (although the shock of seeing myself hit a person is often enough to cause me to freeze up and start coming back, which unfortunately leaves me vulnerable right after provoking someone). It's just lashing out uncontrolled. If what I'm mad about is an abstract quality that isn't directly represented by anything tangible, I may even start yelling things like "I'm going to kill that F***ing God" somewhere in the tantrums, or even start reaching up towards the sky with my hands in a strangling posture, or even flip off the sky. I usually turn red, start shaking with anger... everything.

Being physically attacked or badly startled by something can bring out a part of this dark side... I wouldn't be able to think straight, and if I couldn't get away, I would just start flailing at the person, not really thinking about what I was doing or why. If I could, I would just start running away as fast as I could, without even thinking about where I was going. Once I ended up running several blocks like this before realizing that I had no idea where I was, or where I was going.

If you've ever played Final Fantasy, try to picture what happens when the "Berserk" spell gets cast on a magic user... it's kind of like that.

I would note that this doesn't happen very often... I think I would say 4-5 times in my life. It's bad enough that I end up trying to avoid people who've seen this happen in the future, too embarrassed to face them ever again. If a lot of people saw it, I think I'd have to move or something.

So first there's a Shadow Side, now there's a Dark Side? Okay, well...my dark side is...ESFJ. I explained it in the Shadow Side topic. Let's put a smile on your face.

I think this one was actually here first, but the shadow side one got more responses for some reason.

I think I responded in greater detail to this thread than the other one, but perhaps there is a way to merge them into a single thread to avoid confusion.