why you should always be nice to people....

My friend sent this to me, I thought id Share it with you all.

When you occasionally have a really bad day,

and you just need to take it out on someone,

don't take it out on someone you know,

take it out on someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered

a phone call I'd forgotten to make.

I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying 'Hello.'

I politely said, 'This is Chris.

Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear

'Get the right f*** ing number!'

and the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

When I tracked down Robyn's correct

number to call her, I found that I had

accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to

call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone,

I yelled 'You're an asshole !' and
hung up. I wrote his number down with

the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it

in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks,

when I was paying bills or had a
really bad day, I'd call him up and yell,

'You're an asshole !'
It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought

my therapeutic asshole calling would have

to stop.

So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is

John Smith from the telephone company.


I'm calling to see if you're familiar with

our Caller ID Program?'

He yelled 'NO!' and slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said,

'That's because you're an asshole!'
and hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready

to pull into a parking spot.
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and

pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for.
I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting

for that spot, but the idiot ignored me.

I noticed a 'For Sale ' sign in his back window,

so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the

first asshole (I had his number on speed dial),

I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.

I said, 'Is this the man with the black BMW
for sale?'

He said, 'Yes, it is..'
I asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?'

He said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax.
It's a yellow rambler, and the car's parked

right out in front.'

I asked, 'What's your name?'


He said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'
I asked, 'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'

He said, 'I'm home every evening after five.'
I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'

He said, 'Yes?'
I said, 'Don, you're an asshole !'

Then I hung up, and added his number to my

speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem,

I had two assholes to call.

Then I came up with an idea.

I called Asshole #1.
He said, 'Hello.'

I said, 'You're an asshole!'
(But I didn't hang up.)

He asked, 'Are you still there?'
I said, 'Yeah.'

He screamed, 'Stop calling me!'
I said, 'Make me.'

He asked, 'Who are you?'

I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'

He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'
I said, 'Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd,

in Fairfax, a yellow rambler,
I have a black Beamer parked in front.'

He said,
'I'm coming over right now, Don.

And you had better start saying your prayers.'
I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared,

asshole,' and hung up.

Then I called Asshole No. 2.
He said, 'Hello?'

I said, 'Hello, asshole .'
He yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...'

I said, 'You'll what?'
He exclaimed, 'I'll kick your ass,'

I answered, 'Well, asshole, here's your chance.

I'm coming over right now.'

Then I hung up and immediately called the police,

saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax,

and that my gay lover was on his way over to kill me.

Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war

going down in Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax

I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating

the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars,
an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.
Anger management works

AHAHAHA I luld muchly. Great post. :)

it was a funny and enjoyable post

I've seen it before, but it's always funny.

that was HILARIOUS, I cannot stop laughing......holy elton john that was funny.

yea good stuff !

omg haha thats some funny shit!!! First time I've laughed in awhile. Thanks for posting this dude.

No problem, Im glad to have made someones day a lil brighter

Thanks Kalifornia310 & friend!

*Saves*

...still laughing!...

that was frigging awesome lol