How do you cope when upset?

I'm not sure if this topic has already been started, but yeah... How do you cope when you're feeling down? I do not mean just a general "I'm having an awful day" type thing, but rather feeling down because of something somebody may have done or said to you.

Do you do things differently when somebody angers you, as opposed to just generally making you feel like crap? Do you prefer keeping to yourself and thinking about your problems, or talking your problems out with others? Does it take you very long to get over being hurt (or angered)?



For me, when somebody (or something) upsets me and I'm feeling down, it really depends. Most of the time I will lay around in a dark room, listening to sad music; however, there are times when that isn't enough and I need to keep myself up and busy. I do not generally like discussing this sort of stuff with other people, as I feel they have their own issues to worry about. It typically doesn't take me too long to get over something, but again it depends on the situation as a whole.

Being angered is completely different for me. If angered, I get very restless; I can't sit down, I can't lay down, I need to move around. I find that a few minutes of driving around or walking will calm me down, so I'm usually not upset too terribly long - honestly, I think I get out of an angered state much faster and easier than I do a depressed state. I also feel the need to be around people and vent my problems when I'm angered.

EDIT:: Because I thought of a couple of things I wanted to add... I usually don't forget, but sometimes I may. And I don't hold grudges - I forgive very easily, very quickly.

> How do you cope when you're feeling down?
I mastur-- I mean I master a new skill. Sometimes involving juggling snakes.

> Do you do things differently when somebody angers you, as opposed to just generally making you feel like crap?

My hands around their neck. :D Mainly I tend away from the physical confrontations and if I can get the last word in I'll make sure it stings. Other than that, I just let it breeze by. Because that's all it is: a whisper on the wind.

> Do you prefer keeping to yourself and thinking about your problems, or talking your problems out with others?

Philosophi-who? Phil can go talk things out with others; I keep to myself and brood until I have mentally resolved the situation to my satisfaction including, but not limited to: plotting or scheming; learning from the situation and bettering myself for the future; doing something to take my mind off the situation.

> Does it take you very long to get over being hurt (or angered)?

How long does it take to fuck their sister? I mean ... uh, no. I may bottle it up for a while, but I'm neither in to raging forever nor am I into the Viking Revenge thing so I just let it go as soon as possible.

I never forget anything... even though I eventually forgive.

Though I seem to have a tendency to let people walk all over me when I shouldn't.... and then I stick up for myself on things that seem petty

I'm weird like that...

when I get upset, it usually manifests as anger. if I'm sad, that means there's something wrong.
when I get upset, I hit things. sometimes I'll write. I rant a lot to friends...hmm
or I'll cry and then start watching tv and forget it. mind-numbing, innit

1. How do you cope when you're feeling down?
I surf the internet, listen to music, write. I just do something else to take my mind off of whatever's bothering me until I figure something out.

2. Do you do things differently when somebody angers you, as opposed to just generally making you feel like crap?
It depends on what they did. If they really made me anger, I might throw caution to the wind and take them down regardless of their size. (If they weren't in choking range, I would try to ignore it unless they brought up the subject, brooding until the whole situation blows over.)

3. Do you prefer keeping to yourself and thinking about your problems, or talking your problems out with others?
I keep to myself. Sometimes I think that my problems aren't important to anyone but myself, and I don't want to burden anyone with my feelings. I also find it difficult to talk about issues, especially if I haven't sorted out my thoughts or want to approach someone but can't.

4. Does it take you very long to get over being hurt (or angered)?
In general, yeah. I'm quick to forgive but not forget, and that tendency has ruined a friendship or too in the past.

Thanks to my ex, I'm going to have one helluva muscular frame at the rate I'm going. Every time he does something stupid that just infuriates me I head to the gym for at least an hour. And he does something really stupid about 3 times a week....

I'm normally a very forgiving person, my ex and two other people are the only people I've never forgave for upsetting me. My ex is continuing to lie to me and all I want is for him to man up and face the facts that he can't get the house in his name without my financial help, and just put the damn thing up for sale. Another guy just refuses to look at the way he treats me and understand why it upsets me. And finally, this girl has had three chances, and chose to stab me in the back every single time, so I'm done. I do have my breaking point with people, and those three are the only ones that have ever reached it!

Most of the time when I'm upset and it wasn't really caused by someone I'm close to, I'll just curl up in bed and read, or grab a cat and take a nap. Who can stay upset when you have the cutest little cat curled up in the crook of your arm sleeping?

It sounds like a lot of people try to dispel their anger rather than comes to terms with it or the individual. =/ Can't be healthy in the long term.

Originally Posted by Spades

It sounds like a lot of people try to dispel their anger rather than comes to term with it or the individual. =/ Can't be healthy in the long term.

In the long term I will have nothing to do with my ex ever again. It's just lie after lie after lie... In the short term, I can try and tell him why he irritates me but he doesn't get it... Seriously, he doesn't see his financial troubles as an issue in life... So trying to talk to him about it infuriates me. All I want is for him to hold up his end of the divorce decree...

Wanted to add... If anyone can give me some ideas on how to get my point across without seeming like I'm condescending I'm listening! He's an ENFJ and every time I try and explain to him how credit and financial stuff works he tells me I'm being condescending... I'm not... I'm just trying to get him to see what could happen if he doesn't start paying on time...

1. How do you cope when you're feeling down?
I generally just sit alone for a little bit. It generally doesn't take me very long to get over things. If it does, I go to sleep. I always feel better about anything after I go to sleep. In fact when something really starts to bother me it often just makes me feel very tired now.

2. Do you do things differently when somebody angers you, as opposed to just generally making you feel like crap?
Generally everyone makes me mad, but I deal with it. In terms of outwardly expressing my anger everyone else generally gets angry way before I do. But if someone really begins to push my buttons I remove myself from the situation before I explode.

3. Do you prefer keeping to yourself and thinking about your problems, or talking your problems out with others?
I pretty much always keep to myself. There have been about three people in my life who I've ever really confided in, and even then it was very rarely.

4. Does it take you very long to get over being hurt (or angered)?
No.

Originally Posted by Korvyna

In the long term I will have nothing to do with my ex ever again. It's just lie after lie after lie... In the short term, I can try and tell him why he irritates me but he doesn't get it... Seriously, he doesn't see his financial troubles as an issue in life... So trying to talk to him about it infuriates me. All I want is for him to hold up his end of the divorce decree...

Wanted to add... If anyone can give me some ideas on how to get my point across without seeming like I'm condescending I'm listening! He's an ENFJ and every time I try and explain to him how credit and financial stuff works he tells me I'm being condescending... I'm not... I'm just trying to get him to see what could happen if he doesn't start paying on time...

Life guards go out, they grab the drowning person and try to take them to shore. Lots of times the drowning person panics and fights the life guard not realizing how dire their situation is, or even what's going on. They used to teach life guards to knock the person out. At the very least I'd let the person taste a bit of water and wait for them to ask for help.

Point being here; you're that life guard. You don't have to hit the guy, but you're letting him drag you down. I can see it upsets you, and at the very least is getting you in great shape. Stop trying to rescue him, stop letting his actions affect you emotionally, and let the guy take his hits and suck a little water. Dealing with consequences should dampen is pride and teach him what he needs to know. You'll feel a bit more sane.

As for me, typically always angry... I tend to let people have some time to think about what they are doing, and get a clue... but if they're stupid enough to persist; I hit, and hit hard.