Looks and Appearance

I have to agree that certain visual aspects are entirely appropriate to base judgement on, like how well a person takes care of themself and body language. Fiasco, the overweight example can cross into that judgement, but I think it is unfair to form an opinion immediately. There are plenty of people in the world that have medical issues that keep them overweight, it's not necessarily about not taking care of themself. There are also plenty who abuse their bodies and in that case, it's appropriate to form judgements on what kind of person they are.

My biggest gripe is idealization based on physical attraction.

Judging someone for the way that they look is essentially judging someone for the way that they were born. It is not their fault that they were not created as visually appealing as others. To judge them as lesser because of this is terrible. One can only do their best with the cards that they've been dealt. Everyone here has, in at least one point in their lifetime, been judged as lesser for something they could not control. Perhaps not their appearance, but how quickly they processed data, the social status of their family, etc. If you think it is acceptable to judge others based on such criteria then do so, but I will feel no pity for you when you are judged and punished for the same.

I don't judge people by how they look, though I sure as hell like a hot woman as much as someone who is 'average' though all of that is really in the eye of the beholder as far as I believe.

I am a shallow, very, very shallow person. Maybe I'll dwell deeper into people when I'm older but for now they have to be perfect looking or at least an 8.5/10. I don't like this part of myself but when it comes to a relationship I want the whole shabang.

Loving someone is always easier when they're beautiful. It makes you proud that you managed to get them in your life, it's easier to stare into their eyes and feel sexually attracted to them and when that happens, it's easier to want to be around them all the time and enjoy certain aspects of the relationship .

I mean, if I was with a fat, ugly, pig, even if I loved them, do I want to have sex with them? That's going to cause problems.

It's never really gotten in my way before, the last person I was with defo wasn't a model, with my high standards, I'd say she was a 6. But I went out with her out of pity and at first she had such a beautiful personality, but it sucked because I never wanted to kiss her much or touch her much. And she ended up being ugly on the inside anyway. Two years of my life were wasted when I was deep .

My gf now is a 10, to me anyway. She's an infp so of course she's beautiful on the inside and I'm very much attracted to her. I'm happier when it's like this, so I'm happy being shallow. It's not so bad, I'll look back on this and probably call myself a pig but,ah well, what can you do?

Am yang and lurning an all dat staff.











Lovin' you is easy cause you're beautiful
Makin' love with you is all i wanna do
Lovin' you is more than just a dream come true
And everything that i do is out of lovin' you
La la la la la la la... do do do do do

Originally Posted by Spooky

This reminds me of a thread I was going to start the other day about blindness and its effect on values.

This is why I go to a school for blinds regularly. :)

Originally Posted by screamofconscious

I have to agree that certain visual aspects are entirely appropriate to base judgement on, like how well a person takes care of themself and body language. Fiasco, the overweight example can cross into that judgement, but I think it is unfair to form an opinion immediately. There are plenty of people in the world that have medical issues that keep them overweight, it's not necessarily about not taking care of themself. There are also plenty who abuse their bodies and in that case, it's appropriate to form judgements on what kind of person they are.

My biggest gripe is idealization based on physical attraction.

I tried to keep the words only hypothetical ("may", "might", "imply"), because I personally don't come to these kinds of conclusions. I'm a very big "maybe" person. There are so many possibilities. I only wanted to use it as an example of someone being able to draw inferences from another's presentation. Whatever opinion they may form, I think forming one based on their presentation is quite different from forming one based on their looks.

Originally Posted by TurranMC

Judging someone for the way that they look is essentially judging someone for the way that they were born. It is not their fault that they were not created as visually appealing as others. To judge them as lesser because of this is terrible. One can only do their best with the cards that they've been dealt. Everyone here has, in at least one point in their lifetime, been judged as lesser for something they could not control. Perhaps not their appearance, but how quickly they processed data, the social status of their family, etc. If you think it is acceptable to judge others based on such criteria then do so, but I will feel no pity for you when you are judged and punished for the same.

I judge you for those bushy eyebrows.

I judge people based on their appearance if I have not yet already interacted with them. If I have, then I begin compiling data on their personality and such via talking to them. If not, then I do so by observing them. If I take an interest ;)

I wish I had a biased answer to give you all. Really, I do. But I don't. Maybe I'm shallow. Maybe I'm not. But I like the total package! When I see a guy who's attractive, I think "he's handsome" or "he's cute" but that's about the depth to which I let my mind go! Something inside of me always jumps up and asks, "What can cute do for you?" The answer is almost always, "Nothing." I want someone who's about something. And not every good looking guy is about something. I'm so tired of seeing chicks shackin up with guys and having their babies because "they're cute!" Or seeing perceivably good guys chasing after girls who really only want one thing as well! I just get so annoyed! But let's face it, studies have shown that physically attractive people get casted in a more positive light.

With that being said, looks matter to many. I was listening to a guy as he tried to debunk myths about guys being shallow. And he said something that was very very true. He said something along the lines of, "Guys don't just want looks. But that doesn't mean that you have to walk around without a bath, dingy clothes, bad hair, etc. Look nice, smell nice!" I think we forget that important piece in physical appearance. Anyone can look good if they just dress nicely. There's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes it frustrates me when people say that girls and guys don't want the good guys/ girls and that they keep going after the bad guys/girls. But a lot of these bad guys and girls know how to dress in a way that makes them look good! Be a nice guy or girl, be you, but bring out some of that nice personality to the forefront.

I'll be honest, I've seen the effects that dressing nice can do first hand. I've done it myself. it's amazing what nice clothes can do for a person. It can be a little off-putting when the guys that weren't looking your way before start hounding you down simply because you changed your style, but it's proof that i works. I mean, look at celebrities! It's amazing what makeup and fancy clothing can do! Absolutely amazing! And I wish wish wish it weren't true but it is.


And at the end of all of what I just said, I still want everyone to keep in mind : There's a someone out there for everyone. And I feel confident in saying, if we find that person we're attracted to, we're gonna want to look good for them.

Originally Posted by assbiscuits

I am a shallow, very, very shallow person. Maybe I'll dwell deeper into people when I'm older but for now they have to be perfect looking or at least an 8.5/10. I don't like this part of myself but when it comes to a relationship I want the whole shabang.

Loving someone is always easier when they're beautiful. It makes you proud that you managed to get them in your life, it's easier to stare into their eyes and feel sexually attracted to them and when that happens, it's easier to want to be around them all the time and enjoy certain aspects of the relationship .

I mean, if I was with a fat, ugly, pig, even if I loved them, do I want to have sex with them? That's going to cause problems.

It's never really gotten in my way before, the last person I was with defo wasn't a model, with my high standards, I'd say she was a 6. But I went out with her out of pity and at first she had such a beautiful personality, but it sucked because I never wanted to kiss her much or touch her much. And she ended up being ugly on the inside anyway. Two years of my life were wasted when I was deep .

My gf now is a 10, to me anyway. She's an infp so of course she's beautiful on the inside and I'm very much attracted to her. I'm happier when it's like this, so I'm happy being shallow. It's not so bad, I'll look back on this and probably call myself a pig but,ah well, what can you do?

Am yang and lurning an all dat staff.












Lovin' you is easy cause you're beautiful
Makin' love with you is all i wanna do
Lovin' you is more than just a dream come true
And everything that i do is out of lovin' you
La la la la la la la... do do do do do

See, I'm like that too. I have really high standards when it comes to looks.... and it sucks. I guess I can't really change it.... but man.....I already have high standards in personality.....gah