[Snow Dove]

For my questions earlier. I didnt give the full story to my situation with my ESTP boyfriend. And I do feel only ESTP men could help answer those questions due to your own understanding of that "go for it, get it" attitude and also attitudes toward commitment, but agree that is typism in its way. Also, i had not known this question came up many times before, thats just interesting news to me.

[Fizz]

The question comes up often not because it's a common problem but because it's a trite stereotype. It's like just assuming that all Thinkers are assholes and all Feelers are pussies, people just have preconceived notions they like to push.

[Adventure]

Is that why these threads are closed? If someone actually reported them I bet that wasn't estp, cuz we simply don't care.

Drop some details on yours current situation, let's see what it's about.

[Snow Dove]

The question comes up often not because it's a common problem but because it's a trite stereotype. It's like just assuming that all Thinkers are assholes and all Feelers are pussies, people just have preconceived notions they like to push.

Okay then someone please explain to me that. Thinkers would be the trait that this is assosiated with? Im trying to figure this out. It's a little scary. I get the feeling he is very deep, and caring, hes also romantic with me (apparently unlike ESTP) he caressing my arms, tells me he misses me already, rubs his finger across my lips as were kissing and says he loves my lips, etc. He's soo nice to be, perfect charming gentleman, were so smart together about how to treat one another, but
He's had problems with his mom and dad as a kid, has addictions, has moments of depression, pretends everything is fine, tries to hide who he really seems to be, acts all "no bullshit", no care, jokingly, with others, loves to debate, loves to be right, gets stuck on details in arguments, and im a little scared.. I get this sense that he really likes me, but that he doesnt know what he wants, he tells me we may have a real future together, but i feel like he loves excitement of new things and may lose interest immediately once he does, or gets bored. I feel like though he pretty much seems to be falling head over heels for me (we work really well together and really "fit") i feel like in one second he may change his mind and then be a completely different person. Im not trying to say all ESTP are like this, but often personality types are similar, so i was wondering if these traits, lack of interest in commitment, lack of commitment when interested in commitment, or putting on a facade with the charm (not on purpose) but lying to oneself even. I want some sort of understanding about this. Okay INFP are apparently often non-leading, in the clouds, insecure, ocd, perfectionist. And ESTP i hear can be people who get what they want no matter what, real leaders, charmers, dont like to commit, dont like routine, like excitement, dont know what love even is. I didnt make that up, but im wondering all your takes on my situation, not meaning to offend.

[Fizz]

Is that why these threads are closed? If someone actually reported them I bet that wasn't estp, cuz we simply don't care.

Drop some details on yours current situation, let's see what it's about.

We're selective in what we care about, I didn't report it because I wasn't online when this all went down. The only thing I really give a shit about is quashing these threads before they become a problem. We don't need people coming in and telling us about our type (not saying the OP did) and trying to back claims that have no backing.

[Adventure]

@Fizz getting emotional?
it may be a bit annoying especially since this topic keeps coming back all over again, but not a reason to care really. Well maybe thats because I'm used to enjoy my bad reputation already.

@Snow Dove
You missed two crucial informations : how old is he and how long are you together.

[Fizz]

@Fizz getting emotional?
it may be a bit annoying especially since this topic keeps coming back all over again, but not a reason to care really. Well maybe thats because I'm used to enjoy my bad reputation already.

I'm not getting emotional, there wasn't really any emotion at all in my post. I'm just stating what I've noticed in this sub-forum over and over again. The repetition is annoying.

[Snow Dove]

Again, im not telling you guys what your type is. I wrote a list of stuff that apparently the ESTP is about. Also, i just asked questions, i didnt make statements. I understand not all ESTP are the same, of course not. I wonder now if hes an ENTP instead. I wish i knew if those accusations of what an ESTP are correct, i was asking you guys for your feedback, but apparently i cant even ask those questions without sounding judgmental about it. Makes sense. But i didnt make up the list of traits. Definitely doesnt make some personality types look good when you read on sites the bad traits about them and hear that some are unfaithful, etc. I really wonder about this guy.. But it looks like you guys cant answer my questions because basically, if anyone answered them and said it were true, it would just make that person, and the rest of you look kinda bad. Sucks. But true.

Hes 35. Im 22. Weve known eachother for 7 months, dated for 5, but things only started really getting romantic, intimate, where he is now falling for me, a month or two ago.

[Adventure]

But it looks like you guys cant answer my questions because basically, if anyone answered them and said it were true, it would just make that person, and the rest of you look kinda bad. Sucks. But true.

You kinda miss the point darling. The reason for our major annoyance is that as active members noticed, threads like yours arrive here frequently, and 90% of cases are made by INFP, sometime ISFP, ENFJ's and others with question 'are you all unfaithful?'.

And funny thing is when they get answer they usually don't accept it. But I'll answer your, beware that this post may be blunt and not what you expect.

So, first thing - you look for selfless love? But you aren't loving him selfless yet, so why would you demand this from him?

Second - most of ESTP's don't know what love is (especially in F's or even better, NF's meaning). Can't speak for everyone, so on my own example (for relationship, not flirt/sex): If I like you, then I want to spend time with you. If this time we have together is fun, I will want to continue it. I like flirting/pick up and so on but if I commit I'm faithful. If relationship gets boring and it can't be changed, then I'll rather leave straight then cheat. It may happen to get caught in a moment and forget about this commitment, but unlikely. I wouldn't cheat intentionally.
It can come of as love when you look on it from outside, but is it really? No idea.
The fact we don't really understand feelings and don't like to deal with them doesn't mean we aren't capable of them.

Third - what your problem really is? From your post it looks like this: you are CONCERNED if he will be faithful, because he has MOOD SWINGS and most likely is estp so he MAY get bored. So what are you worrying about? From ESTP's point of view thinking about it is really stupid and useless. But if it doesn't convince you, just talk to him about it. Be concrete (means show him in detailed description what you are worrying about instead of mumbling about it). And show him some of this 'selfless love' of yours by being more trustful.

Also, he opened to you really fast, I couldn't. This means he is most likely well developed (supported by fact that he is way older then me) or is not ESTP.
Plus, some people may share qualities of other types and thus be mistyped. For example the more inteligent ESTP will be, the easier to confuse him with ENTP, and the more reserved he is the easier to mistype him as ISTP. There have been a lot of discussion about it here and on others forums as well if you're interested.

Finally, if you really want true, selfless love in your meaning of this word, go for ISFJ, INFP, ISFP or smth like this guy and stop pounding estp's for not being as you'd like them to be.
But you wont do it, because you are attracted to ESTP guy (like most women) and it's stronger than your 'want'. Now you are sad, because you can't overcome it and you wish he had the qualities you want in addition to these you desire. Also you won't admit it, because this would make you look bad. Sucks. But true.

I spent about 10 minutes on this post, hope it explains the problem enought for you (except you most likely won't accept this answer anyway).

[Derosa90]

I'll just say this - are there traits that he has that are similar to an estp? Absolutely. But the thing is, and these guys touched on it in the previous posts, there is no answer basing it on type. Some are more developed than others, but not everyone of this type handles the situation the same way. And I know you made it clear that you're not trying to stereotype us. That's cool. But it just sounds like this guy has a lot of baggage. And if you're unsure about all this at this point, it's probably not meant to be.