Just been browsing the boards here, and it seems like you guys (the males ones) have them crawling all over you. So basically what I'm getting at here is teachhh me.
What clicked for me was to not care about the outcome. When I stopped trying to get women and just started "hanging out" with them. Instead of wooing I was just making sure that I myself had a good time while in pretty company, with no expectations. Apparently that was enough to have all the girls I was around throwing themselves at me.
Or maybe I'm just charming. THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW.
I agree with GT. Women smell desperation from a mile away. Don't worry too much about impressing people. Enjoy yourself and the time spent with others, and you'll be steps ahead.
I don't know why I get such good luck with women. Maybe its my looks, or charming personality, or both. I'm German and have gotten positive remarks on how sharp and nice my eyes look.
ESTP's generally have an orange aura as well. Look up what it means, I'd hate to type it out.
Ah yes good looks and a charming personality. That could be it, however I'm really lacking in the looks department, and my personality sucks. So f*ck man. :| Would buying them more flowers and chocolates work?
Ah yes, I love being a lesbian eSTP. It's so ... invigorating.
Well, I'd say that an advantage we ESTPs have is that natural charm, matched with that "what you see is what you get, if you don't like what you see it's no skin off my ass" attitude. We're pretty honest & I think that people in general, but especially girls, tend to be attracted to that quality. Every girl I've liked has gotten the same thing from me. I introduced myself, made her laugh right away, complimented her & such, but never shied away from topics or anything. I always was brutally honest about myself & my oppinions on things, & if she didn't like me (has happened in the past), I rubbed my hands together & got over it. I value my ability to dive into shit & dive right back out without giving much of a damn. No hard feelings, sweet pea.
Of course, we have our disadvantages once we get into deep relationships. Most of us aren't very skilled with deep stuff. Basically, we're pretty good at attracting them to us but we get shaky when crazy deep committment comes into play. Plus, the "No skin off my ass; don't give a damn; no hard feelings, sweet pea" attitude I was talking about earlier can make us look like assholes if it's too strong. those are mostly my observations about myself.
I have had a FWB thing with an xSTP ...I thought he was ISTP, but he may be an ESTP, functionally speaking because he seems quite in touch with Fe and rejecting Ni...though he seems more like an ISTP, I swear.
Anyway, apparently he's smooth enough to attract an older woman. At his age, that is no small accomplishment. It helps that he is physically attractive and that he was persistent but not in a needy way...more like a confident way.
Generally I honestly prefer SJ men, though. Seriously. I would probably bet money that my next *actual relationship* will be with an SJ (unless some freakish type I never expected comes along).
I, as a female, generally don't chase or cling to ESTPs.
An ESTP is what an ISTP could be if we went outside and actually talked to people.
It really just comes down to the mentality that I'm me, and if someone doesn't like it they can shove various sharp objects up their ass. I don't try to impress, that seems silly and pintless to me. When I like someone and find them worthwhile, they tend to get very attached to me. Because I show them a quiet confidence most types could only dream about.
And it doesn't come across as cocky as this post has.
It don't work with girls too, though. It's good to some point, but when you actually dont give a sh*t you stop the pursuit or even dont start it. Realized that short ago
Well, you should make sure you strike a good balance; I was assuming that the person in question would obviously care enough about the outcome to make a good effort, frequently enough. As long as the motivation is there, the level of interest should increase based on something other than what she looks like, or how easily one thinks they can hook up with her. Attraction on that basis alone (though, it's obviously important) smacks of desperation.
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