[Hopeful N Happy]

Couldn't find any info on this anywhere else so thought I'd throw it out there.

I'm a male ISFJ, so I don't have all the traditional stereotypes. I am more outgoing, assertive and actually have been told by people that I use logic sometimes or give the impression that I am a "logical" person. This isn't the case, because I still prefer making decisions based more on my emotions, although sometimes I guess I blend logic into it.

Anyways, I find that the friendships I've had with ESTPs to be great. One of my best friends that I work with is an ESTP and we both share a love of debating/arguing, sarcasm and sports.


Its cool because for once I don't think about whether or not I can criticize someone without hurting their "feelings." My friend and I give each other put-downs and criticize each other freely without a second thought, because we both know each other can take it and are easy-going. It seems like we both speak our mind to each other without any second thoughts ever. This leads us to give each other pretty good honest and straight forward advice that I can't usually get from other friends.

At the same time, we seem to have the same conversational style and work great as a team in just about any project, especially in sports. We are both highly competitive, team players who want to win.

Criticizing him for his lack of money management, while he criticizes me for being perpetually single, never seems to get old for either of us.

My question to ESTPs is what impression do you get from ISFJs? I know I am a special case bc I'm not the traditional ISFJ, but I'm still curious about what you think of us in general even if its negative.

I always thought my friend and I have learned a ton from each other, even if we both will never admit it, and continually insist the other person is stupid in some respects haha.

[njchick]

My dad is ISFJ, my sister is ISFJ, my second daughter is ISFJ and my assistant is ISFJ. So I get along great with ISFJs, although I find there are times where I can say things that they might find blunt and unfeeling. Our communication style is very different. However, the ISFJs I know love a good laugh as well. I admire their loyalty to people, undying reliability and sense of responsibility. ISFJs love people just like us. I own my own company and I am very "big picture" so surrounding myself with ISFJs at work is awesome because you excel with process and you are great to have on a team.
They are sometimes moody, which is confusing for me because I don't deal with mood swings. I'll usually just make a joke to try and snap them out of it. All good feelings here for ISFJ though.

[Hopeful N Happy]

My dad is ISFJ, my sister is ISFJ, my second daughter is ISFJ and my assistant is ISFJ. So I get along great with ISFJs, although I find there are times where I can say things that they might find blunt and unfeeling. Our communication style is very different. However, the ISFJs I know love a good laugh as well. I admire their loyalty to people, undying reliability and sense of responsibility. ISFJs love people just like us. I own my own company and I am very "big picture" so surrounding myself with ISFJs at work is awesome because you excel with process and you are great to have on a team.
They are sometimes moody, which is confusing for me because I don't deal with mood swings. I'll usually just make a joke to try and snap them out of it. All good feelings here for ISFJ though.

wow thats alot of ISFJs yikes. Ya I really hate my mood swings.

Ive noticed that alot of MBTI stuff often says how ISFJs like "talking things over" with Extroverted feelers. Yet, in actuality for me at least, while we seem similar at first, its much harder for me to talk to an ESFJ or ENFJ about things. To be blunt, we are very very often not on the same page about things, emphasizing a different set of priorities.

I tend to overlook the advice I get from SP's, when really I am learning that this the simple honest advice that really makes the most sense for me.

Initially, I've tried to adapt myself in some ways to relate better to people like ESFJs, ENFJs, INFPs, INFJs, with mixed results and exhaustion really. Now I am realizing how nice and blessed I am to be friends with SPs, I or E, but ESTP and ESFP in particular, because I don't need to make that effort. Everything is very natural and I see how special and cool it is now.

A ESTP stereotype that I have found not to be very true is that they aren't good making commitments. My friend has alot of continuality is in his life currently, with serious relationships and constant employment. I think when people see the spontaneous and "living in the moment" style of Extroverted Sensors they shouldn't immediately assume that they won't take things seriously, a bad assumption to make.
Just wish there were more female ESTPs.

[soccerboyAT]

Holy crap i see Nj chick(man I don't know,jk jk :/) everywhere.

[Adrenaline]

One word: PRETENTIOUS

[njchick]

One word: PRETENTIOUS

Really, ISFJ pretentious? Most I know are insecure and temperamental, kind of in the background.
ESFJ: Pretentious

[Adrenaline]

Really, ISFJ pretentious? Most I know are insecure and temperamental, kind of in the background.
ESFJ: Pretentious

Yes, pretentious...and insecure and temperamental.

[Adrenaline]

I honestly don't know how else to put it when she acts like she knows everything. I always have to tell her that it's ok if she doesn't know or understand something. She isn't an extrovert, she is socially retarded, super judgmental, and sucks up to authority.

[teddy564339]

Really, ISFJ pretentious? Most I know are insecure and temperamental, kind of in the background.
ESFJ: Pretentious

I agree that in general, ESFJ's are more pretentious than ISFJ's, especially due to their dominant Fe and more exuberant and overbearing tendencies.

I honestly don't know how else to put it when she acts like she knows everything. I always have to tell her that it's ok if she doesn't know or understand something. She isn't an extrovert, she is socially retarded, super judgmental, and sucks up to authority.

I can, however, see some of this in the younger version of me, during my 9th and 10th grade years of high school.

In my case, the way I had always felt since I was a young kid was that I tried to be nice to people, but often I didn't feel accepted...I felt like I didn't fit in, that I was teased a fair bit, and that I just didn't have very good social interaction. However, pleasing authority figures, such as teachers, was so easy and I always got validated for it, so I naturally loved doing it.

So by the time I reached high school, I got pretty arrogant because I was so hurt by a lot of my peers. I convinced myself that I was better than them because I got higher grades...it was my way of compensating my lack of social relationships. I always wanted to be friends with people, and I was always nice and helpful, but I felt I got nothing in return....so as a result I turned very nasty.

Thankfully, around the beginning of my junior year, due to personal growth, maturity, and some spiritual experiences, I got over my arrogance, I accepted being nice to everyone just for the sake of being nice, and it made the friendships I had deeper and opened up new relationships with others. I think I just accepted that not everyone was going to like me, and that all I could do was treat people the best that I knew how. It led me to being taken advantage of more and being taken for granted more, but I was much less bitter and had a lot better social relationships.



So if this person is anything like me, it may just be a way to compensate for insecurity. It's hard to feel accepted and loved for who you are sometimes, and I know that in the past it's led me to feel like I have to be perfect to everyone.


But I don't know if it's a genuine version of being pretentious, though...if she's like me, she doesn't really believe she knows everything, she just acts that way because she's scared of not being accepted or approved of because of what she doesn't know. Sometimes it's hard for me to feel validated, loved, important or accepted unless I hear people say that. I don't think this is an automatic ISFJ trait, but I've seen it pop up a lot on the ISFJ forum.

[ENTrePenuer]

Yes, pretentious...and insecure and temperamental.

That's about right.