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This is a discussion on The great fear of being alone within the ESTP Forum - The Doers forums, part of the SP's Temperament Forum- The Creators category; Originally Posted by Mike Ice its funny cuz i love being with ppl and hate being alone, but I also ...
Type and the hidden agenda
"ENTp, ESTp => to be loved "
Well, according to socionics, an ESTP's secret desire is to be loved and coupled with this tidbit from this website:
"When alone or in reduced circumstances may be subject to dark or morbid feelings about themselves."
I don't think it's terribly surprising that you fear being alone, I think it's quite natural for ESTPs.
I think the only way to combat the fear of being alone is having such an incredibly strong friendship/relationship that whenever you think about the other person, you immediately have warm and fuzzy feelings inside. :3 Basically, by knowing that the other person will never reject you and has a complete understanding of you, you'll know that you'll never be lonely in the world because you have a friend out there who cares about you! :D
Last edited by calysco; 04-24-2010 at 09:19 AM. Reason: add on one more line
Also, there's a difference between being needy and not being needy.
Needy is: You feel absolutely insecure and you're always constantly wanting reassurance and wanting to talk to the other person. And even if the other person treats you like crap, you still need them. And clingy onto them. And don't give them room to breathe. You're always demanding their time and so on.
Not being needy: You understand that the other person also has their own life going on and you give them space if they need it. However, at the same time, you understand that the other person cares about you and is willing to help you out whenever you need it even if they aren't always physically there. It's the knowledge that the other person cares about you to this degree that combats the fear of being alone. :)
Last edited by calysco; 04-24-2010 at 12:01 PM. Reason: clarification
As for the rest of your questions, since I can't categorize myself as an ESTP (well..yet. I'm still trying to figure myself out), it's probably best if OP answers these.Are you meaning by yourself? Is this the same when you're active and doing things autonomously? I know that as an extraverting type, ESTPs can be comfortable around people but do they truly need them around all of the time? This is important to me, because I considered myself ESTP long before I determined I was ISTP. However the whole people thing is not me. Does posting on a forum count as contact with people, or does it have to be real life people?