ESTP hot after me (ISFP)

**Diphenhydramine** · 09-04-2012 11:38 AM

I'm not sure it's healthy to refer to your girlfriend as "My x." It sort of implies ownership. He is twice my age though, different era maybe.

**LuxEterna** · 09-04-2012 11:45 AM

Diphenhydramine wrote

I'm not sure it's healthy to refer to your girlfriend as "My x." It sort of implies ownership. He is twice my age though, different era maybe.

Perhaps you misread or i was not claer .

He refers to himself as mine. "You have to give your (his name e.g. Peter) a treat."

So he wants to be owned by me too? haha.

**LuxEterna** · 09-08-2012 07:41 AM

Originally Posted by Diphenhydramine

This is a very obvious tactic. Intentionally put someone in a position where they've no choice but to go back to your house, where they're "in your territory" and getting them to sleep with you is so much easier. Or he could just be a dick; I don't know. I wouldn't leave a woman alone at night in a city unless she said it was OK.

Is he tameable? I don't know. If you sleep with him you'll know: he'll either suddenly obviously lose interest, or it will be even more accelerated. If you've got the latter, you win. The former, well, you lost, I guess. I don't know any other way to resolve this situation but then, this is precisely how I'd do it if I was him.

I won't sleep with him just to "test it out". i'm too ISFP for that. I'm sure there are other ways to find the answer.

**LuxEterna** · 09-08-2012 07:45 AM

Originally Posted by ltldslwmn

. I'd be looking at other areas of their life (outside of our relationship) to see what kind of guy he is, and I'd test his intentions with me by making him prove himself through patience and commitment.

Yup, I'm doing just that. Testing his patience. So far he's doing well. i myself need a lot of persistence too, to keep on holding my ground!!! Not easy.

**firedell** · 09-08-2012 07:48 AM

I knew an ESTP for 4 years, and was in a relationship with him for around 2. So maybe I can help.

They don't like to completely let you know that they like you at first. They do like chasing games and flirting. In terms of them liking you, they will tell you when they are ready to settle with you. At least that's what happened with me.

Hopefully this ESTP doesn't like playing games for too long.

**LuxEterna** · 09-08-2012 08:57 AM

Originally Posted by firedell

Hopefully this ESTP doesn't like playing games for too long.

thx FireDell for ur reply.

Do you mean , hopefully he will tire of the chasing game with me and settle into a stable relationship?

So when he wants to "settle with me" means the "chase is over" ?

So far I'm fairly sure he likes me.

When I first met him at social event and later at our first date, he said that he wants to find a partner and start a family if he is still able to. he is already 49 year old. He didn't look like the type to lie. Would a 49 year old still be having meaningless chasing games ? He actually told me he didn't have a relationship for 4 years.

Actually, I was the person frightened cos I didn't feel ready for motherhood!!!! (But I sorted it out in myself later cos I realise it was time for me to work out why I didn't feel ready. Not for him. For my own personal peace)

I was also very reserved and was very suspicious when he made a promise about something. It showed. I was surprised by his patience at my reaction and his acknowledgement that he needs to keep his word. And seeing that, I said that I would try to trust him.

It made me feel that he may be sincere and good guy if he realises integrity of word is important.

In our last date , I finally kissed him, his reaction was "AT LAASSSTTT!!!" .

when i told him of a certain milestone that i have just reached in my life , he congratulated me and said I should give him a treat. I know that he's not trying to take advantage. Cos he thoughtfully said "just a meal at (some cheap place) will do!" I see this as he has an interest in my affairs. sweet.

The kiss seems to signify the beginnings of forming a relationship. We now have our nicknames for each other. He repeatedly refers himself as if he belongs to me. He is my coconut. He is my hero. He is my (his name). And I am his Dancing Queen, his gal. ("Take good care of my hot Dancing Queen while I'm away, ok?")

I have the feel as if we have just stepped into the Honeymoon stage of a relationship. Or perhaps it's just me.

So what do i watch out for in handling this ESTP, as we are entering into HONEYMOON STAGE ??

For me, I want to make sure to continue to know him better, have shared non-intimacy activities . Find out more about his background, etc.

**1234luvluv** · 09-09-2012 02:58 AM

i remember reading about socionics sexual behavior and ESTPs were aggressors/conquerors, as in they need an equal opponent who will challenge them and make them feel like they deserve the prize.