[subwayrider]

As an INFJ, I usually find myself only ever motivated to pursue someone if I have, well, "noble" intentions for us. After a series of repeat failures in which my intentions and effort were the best, I have decided to put finding my soul-mate on hold and start taking things a lot less seriously. The problem with this is that I have no idea how to be interested in someone not to be in a long-term relationship with them. Actually, until now, I have always felt guilty about it.

For instance, not two hours ago I met this (dyed) red-haired hottie who works at Home Depot and felt the urge to make out with her on the spot. I don't want to be in a relationship with her. She doesn't appeal to me emotionally, spiritually or intellectually. I just think she's hot and want her body. Should I ask her out on a date? Is that what people do? I've only ever thought about asking people on dates who I really dig on a deep level. Would a date be a waste of time?



Anyone have any advice?

[TheRevaN]

Actually I think it's better to start a relationship by having fun and not getting all emotional.

I think I could list 100 hundred reasons for this, but I am not in the mood........

[Pandable Claw]

Honestly what I've learned from going through just what you are describing is that, as an idealist type, we sometimes need to learn to not let our brains take over the relationship. At least in my case, I saw that the more I focused on what I thought my relationship should be, the less energy I put into just enjoying it, therefore lessening the chances of learning something meaningful even if it doesn't work out. I say let things fall where they may, just be clear in you intentions from the get go and things will most likely run smoother.