[Soma]

I have an ESTP friend who is 99% of the time a wonderful person with many admirable qualities and 1% of the time bat shit nuts.

The 1% is when we argue which in most cases is never initiated by me. The problem is, she tends to completely misinterpret information and take it very personally. Its usually just her interpretation, for instance. I may say "You shouldn't have told me that" and she interprets it as "I blame you for everything and how I feel now, why did you tell me this?". Even after repeated times I try to reason and tell her that I genuinely did not mean what she is thinking she absolutely refuses to believe it and continues to believe what she wants. She is also completely oblivious of her own behavior and is so self absorbed with her own victimization that she does not understand how she is affecting the other person, even when she is actually verbally and mentally abusing them. Never once has she apologized or admitted that she has made a mistake. She instead expects that I apologize and take the blame and that her actions were rightfully just according to her logic and she does not need to feel remorse or apologize. Or frankly she just doesn't care sometimes. Worst part is, because I always validate this and give her what she wants. She always holds it against me and never forgets.

I swear its like walking into the twilight zone because she can just turn a complete 360 at any moment on me. I just don't know how to handle her, its so draining and confusing when this happens. I'm at a complete loss here.

[themartyparade]

Think you might have mistyped her. Perhaps she's an unhealthy ESFP?

I'd say even unhealthy ESTPs listen to reason and logic 'cause that's just our core. There's little space in our worlds for victimizing ourselves and even less to get all emotional about nothing.

[itsme45]

+1

[vladamira]

I do that but I realize I'm doing it and why, which is because blaming my feelings on someone else is easier than dealing with them.

And if pressed I'd probably stop logic does appeal to me and that is not a logical thing to do.

[Charmer]

Either you mistyped her or you're the perfect stimulus for her inferior function. I find that ESTPs generally get along very well, simply because of their characteristics: wiping things off, thinking simplistically, etc. Assuming your friend is usually outgoing, friendly, and well-liked, she's probably on the grip with her inferior.

Have you tried sitting her down to talk through all of this? By that, I mean talking to her when you're both on mutual terms, not during the heat of the moment.