[CompassRose]

Hahahaha I love ESTP's. I really do mourn the fact that they don't go in for serious relationships... And for this reason I was going to add a warning for you, PersonalityFreak, but BoyHowdy beat me to it: don't let yourself get too attached to him. He probably won't be on board with that kind of commitment, and it could mess you up. :/

[ashley286]

I'm 17 and an ESTP. I am described as absolutely insane and mischievous. I'm very impulsive. It's true that I profess not to believe that two humans can fall in love. Love doesn't exist in things other than humans (unless youre religious, then it exists in God...or at least the Christian God.) If i was in a relationship, I would totally have sex with my significant other. However, for me that's much morr complicated, for reasons I wont go into. I do get very excited to see people i like a lot when I havent seen them in a while, but I dont like being the initiator of meetings or conversations all the time. If the person wont reciprocate (which for me is a sign that theyre as interested in me as I am them) then ill just forget about them. I dont like talking in the 'we need to talk' kind of way. If anyone says that to me, I'm sprinting away to go hide until they leave. At least, mentally. Sometimes physically. When someone tries to get very close to me very fast (like they want to be the most important person In my life), then I will not like that person unless I wanted to be the most Important person in their life before they tried that with me. I like casual. Casual clothes, casual people, casual settings, and casual relationships.

Sorry the writing/grammar is so bad, Im on my phone.

Good luck with him!

[PersonalityFreak]

Thanks for the answers everyone! I'm definitely getting the sense that ESTPs aren't all that into serious relationships.. lol. It's a shame too, for all us ISFPs, INFJs, ENFJs, etc. who fall for an ESTP's charm and wit. Wish yall weren't so easy to fall for! :( haha. But I guess that's what makes relationships fun, that whole uncertainty factor. I do love ESTPs though, they seem like great people to have fun with and people that will get your mind off of things for a while.
Just as an update with my ESTP guy, he hasn't contacted me in a couple weeks, and I actually ran into him today and he acted like I didn't exist and actually made a conscience effort to avoid me. It was very strange and I'm left totally confused because I did nothing to him to make him avoid me like that :/ But it is what it is i guess.

[glenda]

I started reading some of these ESTP posts because I thought my first husband might have been an ESTP but I changed my mind, he didnt have any commitment issues and I am pretty certain now he was ENTJ. Anyway, I would not worry too much about a relationship with an ESTP or ISTP that is young. I am almost 50 now and am back in the town I grew up in. I stopped dating a while back because it was too difficult while I am finishing raising my son alone (his dad died) but while I was dating I would say that one out of two single guys I met was either ISTP or ESTP. I think that being an attentive husband does not come naturally to most of them, although I am sure upbringing could modify this. Most of them that had been married were single because their wives had left them.

The ISTPs are so easy to spot. On the first date you usually find out that they fly airplanes, scuba dive, race cars, yada yada. Since this is a small town it was easy to find out why the wife left and it was because they were off doing their hobbies and not taking responsiblity at home. That said it was rare to hear that they were unfaithful and they LOVED being married, (translation- loved having someone to take care of them and the responsibilites of life so they could scuba, fly etc). At my age there are LOTS of ISTPs floating around looking to get married. I was already married to one though and left for the standard reason so not interested in chancing it again. At this age though I think a lot of these guys are good husbands on their later marriages because most of them really like being married.

On the other hand it seems lots of the single ESTPS have not been married or have had multiple marriages or relationships. These guys are also pretty easy to spot. Lots of them are very successful career wise. Most seem frat boy like and noncommittal even at this age, even the ones that are married. Everything is just a party. I have never been attracted to this type of person so have never even dated one. But is seems like they could care less when they ask you out and you turn them down. They are fun to be around and I really admire the way they can get things done, so the opposite of me with my in the head personality type. The only thing is that sometimes they get too much like those jackass movie guys and while I may have thought that cool when I was young its annoying now. And truthfully, it scares me now.

So what I am saying to you is that it seems to me there are always plenty of single XSTP types around. I think if you are looking for a commited relationship with an XSTP I would wait until they are much older and then I would go with the ISTP unless the ESTP is really really into you and commited to you because even at my age they dont seem to loose that "no relationship is forever" thing. I will get back to you on this when I am 70, maybe they will have slowed down by then!

I just cant say enough how much I admire this types ability to get things done, I would love to have that ability!

[Brian1]

This post just isn't helpful. First of all we're talking about teenagers, you know the raging hormones, just got into the opposite sex, or same sex, everything is new. Then on top of that school and work. Then on top of that a teenager's life in high school, is all about the PSAT, the SAT and the AP courses, so they can get into universities and colleges. So, right there, that's a big indicator that says if a person doesn't disappoint you then life will. Because at tops you can only date for four years. We're talking about the ESTP teenager here not the family man ESTP. I also think an ESTP and an NF are the most likely to divorce. Also let's turn the tables a bit, I am an ESTP. I was rebellious as a teenager, still am, but let's get to dating. I asked this girl I was friends if she would go. We knew each other. Even went so far as to plan a dress day together in high school. She said no. So it really depends on the person. Each Myers Briggs will cheat for a different reason, an ESTP will cheat because there's no adventure in the relationship, an ENFP might cheat because their spouse isn't committed to the social causes they put their time in, and therefore aren't acknowledging the person as making this world a better place to live in. It's all in the type of neglect of the relationship.

I started reading some of these ESTP posts because I thought my first husband might have been an ESTP but I changed my mind, he didnt have any commitment issues and I am pretty certain now he was ENTJ. Anyway, I would not worry too much about a relationship with an ESTP or ISTP that is young. I am almost 50 now and am back in the town I grew up in. I stopped dating a while back because it was too difficult while I am finishing raising my son alone (his dad died) but while I was dating I would say that one out of two single guys I met was either ISTP or ESTP. I think that being an attentive husband does not come naturally to most of them, although I am sure upbringing could modify this. Most of them that had been married were single because their wives had left them.

The ISTPs are so easy to spot. On the first date you usually find out that they fly airplanes, scuba dive, race cars, yada yada. Since this is a small town it was easy to find out why the wife left and it was because they were off doing their hobbies and not taking responsiblity at home. That said it was rare to hear that they were unfaithful and they LOVED being married, (translation- loved having someone to take care of them and the responsibilites of life so they could scuba, fly etc). At my age there are LOTS of ISTPs floating around looking to get married. I was already married to one though and left for the standard reason so not interested in chancing it again. At this age though I think a lot of these guys are good husbands on their later marriages because most of them really like being married.

On the other hand it seems lots of the single ESTPS have not been married or have had multiple marriages or relationships. These guys are also pretty easy to spot. Lots of them are very successful career wise. Most seem frat boy like and noncommittal even at this age, even the ones that are married. Everything is just a party. I have never been attracted to this type of person so have never even dated one. But is seems like they could care less when they ask you out and you turn them down. They are fun to be around and I really admire the way they can get things done, so the opposite of me with my in the head personality type. The only thing is that sometimes they get too much like those jackass movie guys and while I may have thought that cool when I was young its annoying now. And truthfully, it scares me now.

So what I am saying to you is that it seems to me there are always plenty of single XSTP types around. I think if you are looking for a commited relationship with an XSTP I would wait until they are much older and then I would go with the ISTP unless the ESTP is really really into you and commited to you because even at my age they dont seem to loose that "no relationship is forever" thing. I will get back to you on this when I am 70, maybe they will have slowed down by then!

I just cant say enough how much I admire this types ability to get things done, I would love to have that ability!

[pericles]

WTF with the commitment issues? People who are not ESTPs don't generalize please. Some ESTPs do commit, some don't. Relationship advice based on misconception / stereotypes can actually ruin relationships.

[njchick]

This thread is unfair. God forbid people judge me on my teenage years. We take longer than others to mature so you probably don't want to get too involved with this young ESTP or go ahead but just don't take it too seriously. A mature ESTP can commit and we are capable of being in a loving relationship.
Any type will cheat just for different reasons.

[themartyparade]

Most young ESTPs have never been in love. How do you expect them to commit to something that there's nothing to gain from?

[CompassRose]

PersonalityFreak was asking about young ESTP's specifically. And like I said, my post was based on my own personal experience with ESTP's in high school. Nothing more.

[Carmine Ermine]

I really do mourn the fact that they don't go in for serious relationships

I was brought up under the impression that life had rules and having a serious relationship was one of them. So I controlled my instincts (which I thought everyone had) and grew a lot of contempt for people who couldn't control their instincts...

don't let yourself get too attached to him. He probably won't be on board with that kind of commitment, and it could mess you up. :/

He would have to be pretty stupid. I guess a young teenage idiot who can't control his basic animal instincts might do this. I on the other hand never knew teenagers actually had sex with each other in high school; I thought it was all a sick joke that I didn't get.

The kind of person that makes a hobby out of puncturing other people's self-esteem).

Some of the more stupid ones might have done this but I am sure they did not think about it much at all. I was more on the victim end of it - when it was mental bullying, that is. There were very few times that it went over the physical line and the tables turned because I'd defend myself ruthlessly.

In general, I've read and observed that ESTP's don't fall in love very much. They don't tend to like commitment or long-term relationships. They want to have fun, and they want to have sex, and those two things are their primary motives for being in a "romantic" relationship with anybody. I could be wrong, but I think a lot of them would profess to not believe in love at all.

I thought all people wanted these things as an integral part of a romantic relationship.

Maybe this is just my INFJ idealism coming out, but I DO think it's possible for ESTP's to fall in love. And I think it's likely to happen with IXFX types... In my experience, they fall in love with someone they have respect for. ESTP's (again, in my experience at least) don't respect very much of anything. So I think...an ESTP in love would (possibly in very subtle and unspoken ways) show that they have tremendous respect for the object of their affection. I think, when and if the opportunity arose, they would also fiercely defend said object-of-their-affection, with their bold social skills and talent for debate.

Of course we can fall in love. I would also make a great sentinel for the woman I loved. I would stick with her forever potentially. My "flaw" is that if she left me or cheated on me for whatever reason then I wouldn't be heartbroken, because "a girl who would do that isn't worth being heartbroken over". I've heard that's the typical way ESTPs would treat things when something really bad happens.

When it came to girls, I was pretty reckless. I didn't really take their feelings into consideration and was told how hard it was for someone to like me because I was all over the place...just like you said...totally into her one minute and the next, I was uninterested. I think for me, it had to do with the chase. Once I got her, I lost interest.

You probably did take their feelings into consideration, at least when you were making love.