[Tkae]

Ok, so, I was reading over ESTPs in various places, and ran across the relationship pages about SPs and NFs.

Basically, it said the two are totally incompatible -- that SPs, especially ESTP, search for competition and in-the-present oriented pleasures, which completely falls opposite to the NF's desire for harmony and the search for potential.

Ok, so I can live with that, right?

But then, just out of curiosity about exactly what type of relationship the two have, I checked the ESTP and INFP relationship according to Socionics:

And therein lies the rub.

Apparently, according to Socionics, ESTP and INFP have a relationship of duality (which is the really good one).



So I'm like... wtf?

Which one is it?
Do INFP and ESTP get along? Or are we really grating on each other's nerves like some places say we do?

[TreeBob]

Well the short version is I get along with every healthy INFP I've ever met. Dated one.

[Tkae]

Well the short version is I get along with every healthy INFP I've ever met. Dated one.

How did that go?

[Zygomorphic]

The Socionics page also says that INFP's and INFJ's are incompatible, so I took what that page said with a grain of salt.

From observing and interacting with an ESTP friend (as well as considering the general ESTP profile), they're really fun people to be around and to truly live and experience the ultimate "S-oriented experiences" with. That being said, the primary interests of the ESTP and INFP seem to be polar opposites, which is, of course, a huge issue; I would be worried that the place in which both types want to go in a relationship would pull each other apart. Perhaps the ESTP is one of the greatest friends for an INFP, but only that (in general).

As friends, both types can learn a lot from one another, but in an intimate relationship, such appreciation might fade over time as goals branch apart. The ESTP friend I spoke of has directly told me that he idolizes me, and in a way I reciprocate that sentiment (although I haven't told him). I do wish at times that I could be less serious about life and just enjoy it as he does. It's funny; in a way, both types are thrown off by the polarity of the other (one might encounter the other and think, "People like that actually exist!?") yet enormously respect the differences.

[TreeBob]

How did that go?

It was amazing until she moved away. Then she became distant (and I don't mean the distance in miles between us). Her way of dealing with it was not dealing with it and she tried to act like nothing was different.

[workaholicsanon]

You guys seem to be forgetting the fact that socionics types and MBTI types do not necessarily correlate.

To find out your socionics type, you have to read a bunch of socionics descriptions by different authors and decide which sociotype you relate the most to.

There are socionics tests out there, but it's widely thought that the test is not as accurate as observations and descriptions of the functions and overall behavior, most importantly relationships with others. This is in contrast to MBTI where you cant type someone unless they take a test. The reason is that, while MBTI focuses on defining individuals' personality characteristics, the focus of socionics is how you relate to people and how people relate to you.

For example, I am an MBTI INFJ, but a socionics INFp (the little p indicates socionics notation). The difference is crucial because the dual of a socionics INFj (which would be ESTj) would be my conflictor--BAD combo. I've worked with some ESTj's and it's not pleasant at all, really revolting and irritating actually. Whereas, working with an ESTp = heaven.

[thehigher]

Socionics is wack bra

[workaholicsanon]

Socionics is wack bra

How is it wack? I find it AMAZINGLY accurate.

[Tkae]

You guys seem to be forgetting the fact that socionics types and MBTI types do not necessarily correlate.

To find out your socionics type, you have to read a bunch of socionics descriptions by different authors and decide which sociotype you relate the most to.

There are socionics tests out there, but it's widely thought that the test is not as accurate as observations and descriptions of the functions and overall behavior, most importantly relationships with others. This is in contrast to MBTI where you cant type someone unless they take a test. The reason is that, while MBTI focuses on defining individuals' personality characteristics, the focus of socionics is how you relate to people and how people relate to you.

For example, I am an MBTI INFJ, but a socionics INFp (the little p indicates socionics notation). The difference is crucial because the dual of a socionics INFj (which would be ESTj) would be my conflictor--BAD combo. I've worked with some ESTj's and it's not pleasant at all, really revolting and irritating actually. Whereas, working with an ESTp = heaven.

I'm an INFp. I already checked it.

And as long as ESTp relates to ESTP in MBTI, then I'm fine

[OrangeAppled]

From observing and interacting with an ESTP friend (as well as considering the general ESTP profile), they're really fun people to be around and to truly live and experience the ultimate "S-oriented experiences" with. That being said, the primary interests of the ESTP and INFP seem to be polar opposites, which is, of course, a huge issue; I would be worried that the place in which both types want to go in a relationship would pull each other apart. Perhaps the ESTP is one of the greatest friends for an INFP, but only that (in general).

As friends, both types can learn a lot from one another, but in an intimate relationship, such appreciation might fade over time as goals branch apart. The ESTP friend I spoke of has directly told me that he idolizes me, and in a way I reciprocate that sentiment (although I haven't told him). I do wish at times that I could be less serious about life and just enjoy it as he does. It's funny; in a way, both types are thrown off by the polarity of the other (one might encounter the other and think, "People like that actually exist!?") yet enormously respect the differences.

I agree with this. I sometimes click quickly with ESTPs. We can have a lot of fun. When they get to know me, it surprises me how much they will respect my opinion (I'm not just the artsy book nerd after all, haha).

However, long term goals, perspectives, and even interest/activities, can seriously diverge. I'd see a long term relationship hard to maintain. Better stick to friends....but there's exceptions for everything. I'd never rule any one out based solely on type (that would be dumb).

For me, the biggest issue with ESTPs is their pliable morality (or total lack thereof), their hedonism, and their disloyalty. I'm sure many are not like that, but some have left a bad taste in my mouth and left me wary. I also look for someone more intellectual and stabilizing for a long term relationship (ie. ENFJ). I think ESTPs with me just equal a lot of chaos and impetuousness, which is not a good foundation for a relationship.