Estj + enfp = ?

[livingalife]

so, i'm an openminded carefree (for the most part) ENFP spirit who happens to trip across the path of an offduty ESTJ swat cop who sweeps me off my feet.(with his hand on the small of my back) two totally different mindsets, ways of relating and being ... and we really connect. total opposites attract. but i wonder, is this pure madness? are there others in this forum who have successfully rocked this combo?

[kept81213]

Actually I'm pretty sure that we have been asked this before. I think there was someone who is an ENFP who was asking about this.

Pretty much what I can say is that my mom is an ENFP and although we've definitely gotten into really heated arguments and we definitely have our differences I love her to death. Personally, for relationships, really close ones, I love FP's. There's something about you guys that makes me really want to open up and makes me feel really safe doing so. It doesn't necessary mean I do right away, I just feel completely non-judged. You guys, xNFP's in particular are very empathetic. My sister, an INFP, and my mom are some of the nicest really true people I know, and when you're cared by them, you're completely overwhelmed by their love. My mom being extroverted, just sort of showers me with her love, one minute she'll be a nuturing parent who wants me to be exactly who I am, and the next she is sort of like a playful child. FP's also just really know how to have a good time.

The extroverted piece however is something you need to watch out for. My mom being and EF is what is called an emotional pursuer. If I'm upset she can sense it and will pretty much pace in front of my door concerned (figuratively and literally). She then tries to get me to tell her what is wrong. Being Te, I am not exactly comfortable with emotions and so being emotionally pursued really makes me draw back from whoever it is. I am happy to tell people really personal things as long as there's no pressure to do so. Its more like you have to let the ESTJ come to you about those things and not the other way around. You guys can be fabulous listeners, so be patient and you may ending up being his go-to when he needs someone to talk to. I can tell you that you guys completely calm us down. You make us less uptight, more relaxed and way more feeling-like. Don't be afraid to speak your mind to an ESTJ, we love straight up honesty and so if you're upset about something let us know, and dont be afraid to yell if you need to, it wont hurt us. Also, sometimes ESTJ's say things that seem really personal and harsh, but we dont mean to me, just remember to look for the good parts of our personality type. I think it could probably work, plus you'll have a lot of fun, and more than anything you'll have a very very loyal person at your side. :)

[livingalife]

Kept 81213 you provided such wonderful insight, which is very much appreciated. your shared experiences really connected me to some of the issues i have been tossing around in my mind. the pacing in front of the door by your mom when you are sorting it out made me crack up. i believe you hit it on the head when you indicated a calming, more relaxed, feeling response to the combo. thank you again! i tend to unravel everything down to the last bit instead of staying in the moment and just experiencing. i am having fun, and will try to have faith that what seems so right, is right in the here and now :0)