[bethdeth]

They're freaking hilarious and we have the same sense of humour = caustic insane. What I love the most is if you get too serious and they don't know what the hell you're talking about - they start break dancing.

Hahaha....I sent her a message on FB the other night. It was an awkwardly phrased highly convoluted idea. She came back "woooo, can't read, I must have had too many drinky woos...loooooove yooooou."

Another time at a folk festival where she was playing we were standing around her stall talking about the new age ideas about some of the hippies there, how they insist on creepily touching you and their spacey logic. I was spouting something off about how if anyone tries to stick any crystals in my chakra I would spit chips she said "right, time for a hug tackle", trips me up onto a bean bag and gives me a hug. So much for dignity.

[Sanskrit]

My Ex is a ESFP. She is immature, slob, confrontational but can't finish an argument even if one is conducted maturely at a level head because facts are no match for the emotional entitlement (what?), she lacks motivation to do anything with her life and gets depressed easily, then only seems to find reason to function in this world through social interaction.
To my experience ESFP makes a crap partner in a relationship due the need of constant validation. If it is not perfect all the time, it is "doomed to fail" attitude she expressed over everything, from cooking to relationships became tiresome.

I do not think if this applies to all ESFP's. It seems unlikely but even then I am sure never to even befriend one again. I don't like wasting effort on people who have capacity to such horrible personality.

Hahaha....I sent her a message on FB the other night. It was an awkwardly phrased highly convoluted idea. She came back "woooo, can't read, I must have had too many drinky woos...loooooove yooooou."

Another time at a folk festival where she was playing we were standing around her stall talking about the new age ideas about some of the hippies there, how they insist on creepily touching you and their spacey logic. I was spouting something off about how if anyone tries to stick any crystals in my chakra I would spit chips she said "right, time for a hug tackle", trips me up onto a bean bag and gives me a hug. So much for dignity.

This too annoys me, a complete disregard of other peoples own validations and reasoning, disregard of personal space unless they want some, then no-one is to offend that and is meant to respect them (despite them not respecting yours). And my godmother is an ESFP too very likely, similar type of personality, very bossy, intrusive and far too invested into business of other people.

Sure, ESFP can be generous, make even crazy sacrifices for the people around them but that is only if you happen to be the sort that constantly lubricates and kisses up their ego with validation.
So not a fitting company for INTJ or INTP.

[bethdeth]

My Ex is a ESFP. She is immature, slob, confrontational but can't finish an argument even if one is conducted maturely at a level head because facts are no match for the emotional entitlement (what?), she lacks motivation to do anything with her life and gets depressed easily, then only seems to find reason to function in this world through social interaction.
To my experience ESFP makes a crap partner in a relationship due the need of constant validation. If it is not perfect all the time, it is "doomed to fail" attitude she expressed over everything, from cooking to relationships became tiresome.

I do not think if this applies to all ESFP's. It seems unlikely but even then I am sure never to even befriend one again. I don't like wasting effort on people who have capacity to such horrible personality.



This too annoys me, a complete disregard of other peoples own validations and reasoning, disregard of personal space unless they want some, then no-one is to offend that and is meant to respect them (despite them not respecting yours). And my godmother is an ESFP too very likely, similar type of personality, very bossy, intrusive and far too invested into business of other people.

Sure, ESFP can be generous, make even crazy sacrifices for the people around them but that is only if you happen to be the sort that constantly lubricates and kisses up their ego with validation.
So not a fitting company for INTJ or INTP.

She sounds like a fricken BPD candidate. I never had that problem with my friend. Ever. She must be a hell of a lot healthier. Never had to kiss up to her either.

[Sanskrit]

She sounds like a fricken BPD candidate. I never had that problem with my friend. Ever. She must be a hell of a lot healthier. Never had to kiss up to her either.

Might be so. Unhealthy individuals always bring the worst of their typology to the "game".

[bethdeth]

Might be so. Unhealthy individuals always bring the worst of their typology to the "game".

I swore off getting to know any more ENFPs for a minute because of a limpet man. I'm over it really. I think I actually know a decent one one after thinking about it. There are just a lot of really undesirable people in the world. The really shitty ones who take things away from you tend to make you skittish if you think of anyone sharing anything in common. Hell, I still won't watch South Park because an ex loved it so much....ha.

[Bogspirit]

Limit your exposure to them to times when you feel like you can raise that level of energy. Otherwise, I have not a clue. Ask them how their day was, smile, nod, get away ASAP. Perform small kindnesses like asking if they want coffee or tea, etc.? Agree with Beth, compliment something they have that you think is cool. Avoid giving advice or investing in anything long term that they might not take you up on (thus wasting your time). I get the impression they'd be fun adventure buddies. This is just based on EFPs in general, not S ones. Above all, keep it light, bantery and positive. If you can't be that, then don't bring them down.

[kingdavidANC]

I think this thread needs to be fittingly retitled as "Bad mouth ESFPs", and moved to the INTJ board, where it can become a critically acclaimed thread due to the amount of truth residing in which without the added bonus of ESFPs blindly disagreeing.

[Inev1t4bl3]

INTJ's and ESFP's can make for great friendships. However, a few things have to be true for it to work well:

1. Both have to be well adjusted. If either person is not well adjusted, things go bad very quickly. This means both must know their personal strengths and weaknesses-- and accept them. This can be hard for both. One thing INTJ's and ESFP's share is that they are both very stubborn.

2. A wide range of personal life experience on the part of one or the other helps immensely. This is important because at least one of them needs to be able to understand where the other is coming from. Ideally this means a previous positive long term experience with someone of that personality type (like a family member).


People are often not well adjusted during youth, and life experience in youth is often somewhat wanting. Thus, most younger people of these type's (INTJ's and ESFP's) don't get along, but chances increase as we both age.

As for why an INTJ would want to befriend an ESFP?

Well, I find well adjusted ESFP's to be excellent company one on one (a room full of them would make me see red, however). ESFP's have some of the abilities to read emotions that XNFP's do (though not to the same extent, it is not as natural to them). What ESFP's are really good at, however, is being able to create feelings in people. Not merely broadcasting their feelings and creating sympathic one's (XNFP's can do that), but actually effortlessly creating emotional reactions in others. This explains why so many end up in acting.

This is a rare skill. It is a rare person that can actually make me feel happy by just being in the same room. I have only experienced it with ESFP's. It is like some kind of black magic. Of course, it is a double edged sword, if they want you to feel miserable-- that is pretty easy for them as well.

[bethdeth]

I don't understand why people say ENFPs can read their emotions well. It's a Jedi mind trick pulled by Kiersey. I actually haven't met a single one who can read mine well, although they can be just bubbly and enough to make you feel at ease. They have Fi so they will have a resonance there as well as ESFPs and INFPs. I think ISTJs probably have the most resonance in knowing where INTJs are coming from emotionally. Especially as they mature.

[kingdavidANC]

I think that emotion reading isn't as black and white between the personality types as people make it seem. I, as an INTJ, have extensively studied into body language, psychology, and sociology, and therefore find myself to be quite emotionally aware. There's just different variables. One ESFP could be great at emotion reading, whereas another could be horrible.