How so I make a good impression on an ESFP

**Blue Heart** · 07-29-2010 11:58 PM

I have a new ESFP in my life, and I would like to make a good impression with her. What kind of traits do you like in people? I know I should be myself, and I am, but for instance I have a tendency to be quiet and shy with people I don't know well, which can be seen a aloof and stuck up to some people. So I want to avoid behaviors that give a bad impression, and focus on strengths I may have that an ESFP would like. Thanks!

**INTP user** · 07-30-2010 03:30 PM

Originally Posted by Blue Heart

I have a new ESFP in my life, and I would like to make a good impression with her. What kind of traits do you like in people? I know I should be myself, and I am, but for instance I have a tendency to be quiet and shy with people I don't know well, which can be seen a aloof and stuck up to some people. So I want to avoid behaviors that give a bad impression, and focus on strengths I may have that an ESFP would like. Thanks!

I´m an INTP but have experience with an ESFP. Be straightforward, give them lots of attention, don´t hide from them etc etc.

**talon235** · 07-30-2010 07:14 PM

You don't have to pretend to not be shy around people, its cute, I would let him know you are shy around new people so that he doesn't interpret your quiet behavior as stuck up, I find it endearing. Something about me always makes me try harder to make someone open up if I know they are shy, it attracts me to them because its mysterious. When I can help someone open up and have fun it makes me feel really happy. Just enjoy his company and whatever he'll throw at you and let him know if you need your alone time, explain to him that you need to get away from people and have your own space every once and awhile. Let him know you are thinking about him when you are apart.

**Blue Heart** · 07-30-2010 07:27 PM

Originally Posted by talon235

You don't have to pretend to not be shy around people, its cute, I would let him know you are shy around new people so that he doesn't interpret your quiet behavior as stuck up, I find it endearing. Something about me always makes me try harder to make someone open up if I know they are shy, it attracts me to them because its mysterious. When I can help someone open up and have fun it makes me feel really happy. Just enjoy his company and whatever he'll throw at you and let him know if you need your alone time, explain to him that you need to get away from people and have your own space every once and awhile. Let him know you are thinking about him when you are apart.

Thank you for your response, but this is the daughter of a friend of mine. So how does this work for a female-female relationship?

**talon235** · 07-30-2010 07:29 PM

Originally Posted by Blue Heart

Thank you for your response, but this is the daughter of a friend of mine. So how does this work for a female-female relationship?

lol I'm so sorry. I don't know why I thought you were talking about a guy, I remember reading you specified "her" too *facepalm* . Just ask her questions about herself. She'll be happy to talk about herself, and answer any questions she might have for you honestly. That's all. esfp also like to talk about people they know, so if you know anyone in common talk about them and how you know them. Maybe even joke about her father at his expense, she'd get a kick out of that.

**Blue Heart** · 07-30-2010 07:35 PM

Originally Posted by talon235

Just ask her questions about herself. She'll be happy to talk about herself.

Thank you for the help. BTW, I think that it is great that you understand introverted people - that we need time to recharge, etc...

**SparkB4theFlame** · 08-04-2010 02:42 PM

My sister is an ESFP
She's older than me, but i call her my little sis anyway.

ESFPs live in the now. They like to be falttered and they like to be impressed, but they don't like it if they can tell that you're showing off.
They also like funny noises. and tickle fights. Be careful the cutting remark that they didnt think through...

**Thrifty Walrus** · 08-07-2010 06:59 AM

All of my friends are just a huge herd of ESFP's, and I can tell you that you should just let go. What I mean by that is, sure you can be shy and reserved, but whats the point? Be open to stupid things and just go along with it (i.e. if they randomly start talking in an accent, do an accent of your own and run with it. This type of spontaneity is actually what I love about this type, they help bring me out of my shell) and #1 I would say would be to not be afraid of looking stupid. Know that it's okay to be silly, and this type isn't going to judge you for it whatsoever.

That being said, all the ESFP's are my own age (17) so I'm not sure how the dynamic would change with a different type of relationship or age difference.

**Frannyy** · 08-07-2010 07:03 AM

I know plenty of ESFPs- show them you are a fun person and have a good attitude. They should take a liking to you with those simple traits.

**Margo Channing** · 08-12-2010 03:36 AM

My sister is an ESFP. You are an INFJ so show her your emphaty and your "abilitiy" to listen. Show her that you are a warm and kind person, she would appriciete it. Avoid long deep converstaions only if they include feelings ;) .
And what ever you do, don't speak in methapors xD

also if you are going somewhere out go for smth fun, lifefull.
and prepare yourself , you would need a lot of energy for her, ahahah. ;)