ESFP's and relationships

buds68 · 05-12-2009, 12:32 PM

I am new here, so sorry if this isn't posted in the right place.

I realize from MBTI what they consider the best complement to your personality type. I am an ISTJ. My best match is considered ESFP. So...I wanted to ask all you ESFP's:

What attracts you to ISTJ's?

I recently broke up with an ESFP. Even though I apologized for my words and asked her to forgive me, I didn't hear back. Not sure if I should try to communicate with her, or just move on.

Thanks for your insights!

--Mark

Sleepy · 05-12-2009, 01:27 PM

I dont think there are many ESFP:s in this forum.

There are many different "theories" about best matches, so they should all be taken with a pinch of salt. If you surf the web you'll find more suggestions than just ESFP.

It is impossible to say what you should do. You could try to move on, or you cold try keep in touch with her. But it's always worth trying if you really care for her.

**thehigher** · 05-12-2009, 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by buds68

I am new here, so sorry if this isn't posted in the right place.

I realize from MBTI what they consider the best complement to your personality type. I am an ISTJ. My best match is considered ESFP. So...I wanted to ask all you ESFP's:

What attracts you to ISTJ's?

I recently broke up with an ESFP. Even though I apologized for my words and asked her to forgive me, I didn't hear back. Not sure if I should try to communicate with her, or just move on.

Thanks for your insights!

--Mark

Alright Mark. My mom is an esfp. But im gonna give you advice that goes for all types. Ready? Dont be afraid to be yourself. Cliche? deffinatly. True? You have no idea.

The more you are yourself, the more likely you are to find a mate who actually like YOU. Now, i would suggest reading a little into myers briggs and how the functions work also.

Make sure you are healthy, confident with yourself, and most of all honest with yourself. Your natural match (esfp) will come to you. You dont really have to pull game unless your seducing another type that really doesn't match up with you.

What attracts them to ISTJs? Your introverted sensing thinking and judging nature :).

Ps: they arent going to be attracted to you when you act like a enfp ----dont get stressed out or use your inferior funtion unless you REALLY have to----

Flemaz · 05-18-2009, 08:42 AM

I agree with what "Thehigher" said, be yourself and thats exactly what attracts an ESFP (having the opposite of what we are)..
Well, about your girlfriend I'm gonna say this straight forward. In this situation as an ESFP's point of view, I think you should not give up. try over and over again, ESFP's tend to be so emotional and need attention, specially from the ones we love. thats why you have to keep on trying with her she's probably holding back. an ESFP needs to feel loved and cared about, show it to her, don't just call her, go talk to her face to face, show her that you really care.

buds68 · 05-19-2009, 06:48 AM

Thank you for the kind words and inspiration. I will do that!

**Perseus** · 05-19-2009, 12:59 PM

ESFPs are not very common. The first wife is usually an ISJ. I don't know about the second, probably an INFJ.

Fat Bozo · 05-24-2009, 09:01 PM

There's one ISTJ girl that I'm attracted to (too bad she's already married.

)

What I like about her is her toughness, her story-telling ability and her feistiness. She doesn't back down from anybody and is very thorough at her job and with her family.

**Perseus** · 05-25-2009, 06:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fat Bozo

There's one ISTJ girl that I'm attracted to (too bad she's already married.

)

What I like about her is her toughness, her story-telling ability and her feistiness. She doesn't back down from anybody and is very thorough at her job and with her family.

And that is the way it will remain, unless her husband is a ISFP. If the latter is the case, he will play away and get thrown out. ISTJs do not or cannot forgive, it seems, if my type recognistion is correct.

ISTJ are not the type for INTP. I could find one today, but I am not going to go there.

jamieswafford · 09-07-2009, 09:08 PM

Hi Mark - my boss is a female ISTJ and I have a friend who is a male ISTJ. They tend to say things that sound very harsh to an ESFP. Fortunately I learned about MBTI 6 years ago and know that we are supposed to be different - so they don't offend me like they do other feeling types.

Healthy ESFP's tend to be very forgiving. Give her a little space - and time to miss you. Then go see her in person to make up. Plan something surprising for her - if she does accept you back. Tickets to a concert she's wanted to attend - something fun.

We need attention - we need to feel special. If you can give her that - and if you can talk about your personality differences - get to learn each other, you can probably make it work.

Stelinzoe · 09-13-2009, 06:09 PM

ESFP's need love, plain and simple. Be merciful. If you appear merciless it is disgusting to us. Say sorry and mean it. Give affection. Also, make sure she is mature and "grows up". I am thirty next week and have survived nine years married to an ISTp. It's been nothing short of hell, but I can honestly say that I had a part in that too. We have to grow up. Bring things to her attention but in a loving and patient manner. If she doesn't respond then maybe there's a reason and you are better off.