Personality Cafe banner

Trying to understand ESFPs - questions and thoughts

[ESFP] 
9K views 13 replies 9 participants last post by  Sunnystar 
#1 ·
First of all, if you're about to post "you're a typist!" go away, it won't help anybody.

Observations:
I see ESFPs as pot-smoking guys who don't care about anything but their friends and themselves. In their 20s, they may start to care about things like corporations and the government or other "righteous" things. They love to party, preferably with their friends, a close group of friends or their friends, but don't mind strangers. Partying sometimes includes other drugs rather than weed, combined with lots and lots of alcohol. Likely to be smokers as they wanted to be cool. Generous, would share a chocolate that costs $50/kg that he just got from his grandma overseas with a friend's friend just because he's there with him at that moment. Can't be trusted to do something they promise, likely to just forget it. May even skip a class because they forgot about it, or a driving lesson, even if it costs $200 to retake it and they don't have it. Don't know if the following is country-specific, but: don't like to work, unless it's illegal and relatively easy. Very impulsive, prefer to set "schedule" 15 minutes before it happens, an hour tops. Oddly, when young seem to want some kind of fame, but that may be mistaken for the wish to be accepted. Due to their social skills and rather charming personality, some may consider them a leader, assuming it's a group of friends. Always have a story to tell, whether their own or someone else's. Often it's someone else's though. Pay attention to the stories of others, if it's happened to someone else, it's the truth. Sort people into respected and disrespected, depending on how their interests match. Have a moral code, once an ESFP even gave back what he stole from a guy in an online game because he felt bad about it. Loves animals, may stop and pet a stray dog or a cat on the street. Don't mind stuff that may harm them, "life is short, live good, die young" kinda folks. Don't mind getting "lost" in thought when doing something, so concentration skills. When under stress may be violent or do immoral stuff, like stealing from the less respected friends or insulting them. Don't mind making fun of friends or others as long as it's between friends. Neglect any logical discussion unless it's one-on-one. A partner leaving them may cause great stress that can last even for a month or a bit more and may lead into more-than-usual drug abuse. Don't like talking about love or romance, especially if it's related to them. May annoy the hell out of an ENTJ by asking countless "why?" questions about stuff that I see as intuitive and if I take the time to explain it, may just stick a "too serious" sticker on it. Great activity partners - gaming, whether computer or real-world and sports.

I bet that part of the observations are either generalizations or unrelated, so feel free to comment or post your observations and discuss.
 
See less See more
#2 ·
Some of those behaviors aren't really type specific, but certainly some of it is accurate in terms of many ESFPs.

Personally, I've never smoked pot or done any other illegal drugs, and I tried alcohol but didn't like it and haven't had any since my high school graduation night (not counting church wine.)

So, you said you were trying to understand ESFPs. What is it that you're trying to understand?

I expect you will get a few harsh responses from a few people who focus on the negative stereotypes, but personally I know if I did indulge in some of the drugs you're talking about, I would be a hard core addict. But I never have.

Anyway, I'm curious, since I have known very few ENTJs but the few I have encountered have definitely clashed with me, and I'd like to find a way to remedy that, so maybe we can help each other to understand the other type better.
 
#3 ·
I'm trying to understand how they operate, think, what they want, how they view the world, etc..

That's interesting. Most of who I know can stop smoking for a month then start up again, cigarettes I mean. Or even for longer than that. Same goes for drinking.

We can, what about you comment on the OP and/or give me some insight, while also giving me a few questions to answer?
 
#5 · (Edited)
@MBTIPC

I see ESFPs as pot-smoking guys Hi! I'm PerC user "Voicetrocity" I identify as female and have never touched pot in my life.
who don't care about anything but their friends and themselves This isn't entirely true. I do care about myself and my friends; but I also care about my family, the homeless guy on the street, the person who stops and let me cross at the crosswalk, my car, my physical health- I just care about them in different ways.
In their 20s, they may start to care about things like corporations and the government or other "righteous" things. Umm..... I'm in my late twenties and the only thing specific you mentioned that I care about is the government. I'm fascinated by the way it runs, and kind of disappointed at some of the people I see representing me. Yeah, I even watch C-Span.
They love to party, preferably with their friends, a close group of friends or their friends, but don't mind strangers. I don't like to "party" all that much; but you're right, the only people I can really tolerate in a party setting are those who I could tolerate outside of one (aka: my friends)
Partying sometimes includes other drugs rather than weed, combined with lots and lots of alcohol. Partying includes drugs and alcohol for others but not me, I'm the sober DD.
Likely to be smokers as they wanted to be cool. Sh*T! Thank you so much for this! I had no freaking clue why I went through that whole smoking period for 10 years of my life. I'm glad you solved that puzzle for me.
Generous, would share a chocolate that costs $50/kg that he just got from his grandma overseas with a friend's friend just because he's there with him at that moment. Pssshhhh.... No. I love chocolate, and I'm eating it all, thank you very much. Can't be trusted to do something they promise, likely to just forget it. May even skip a class because they forgot about it, or a driving lesson, even if it costs $200 to retake it and they don't have it. No. No and No.
Don't know if the following is country-specific, but: don't like to work, unless it's illegal and relatively easy. Wait... my ESFP welcome guide didn't tell me I was only allowed to do illegal work. I'd better get on that right away.
Very impulsive, prefer to set "schedule" 15 minutes before it happens, an hour tops. No, I actually prefer to know about things, at the very LEAST, 24 hours in advance.

And that's all that I'm going to touch from your post, because answering the questions began to hurt my brain. And it would have taken me a very, very long time to go through them all, since I seem like the complete opposite of any ESFP you have in your mind.

If you really want to understand ESFP's, understand that you can't peg "behaviors" "motivations" or "fears" on us. The only thing you can peg on us in the way we take in the world- which is through our five senses. We're very observant people and adept at reading body language and between the lines. After we process something through our senses (Se), it goes to our introverted feeling center (Fi) where we determine how we feel about something. Let's take your example of sharing the chocolate I just got from Grandma with a friend's friend. I might realize friend-of-friend is standing there, but my Fi might tell me that friend-of-friend is an a-hole and I might resolve to not share anything with them, even if that ask. Conversely, I might process that they did something nice for friend of friend, and might offer to share even before they ask. Oh, and we also use (Te) which is that function that looks for logic, faulty reasoning and allows us to be decisive and stick to schedules.

Anything else you'd like to know, you might want to provide specific questions about functions instead of sweeping stereotypes and examples that aren't type specific- that would be most appreciated.
 
#14 ·
@MBTIPC

I see ESFPs as pot-smoking guys Hi! I'm PerC user "Voicetrocity" I identify as female and have never touched pot in my life.
who don't care about anything but their friends and themselves This isn't entirely true. I do care about myself and my friends; but I also care about my family, the homeless guy on the street, the person who stops and let me cross at the crosswalk, my car, my physical health- I just care about them in different ways.
In their 20s, they may start to care about things like corporations and the government or other "righteous" things. Umm..... I'm in my late twenties and the only thing specific you mentioned that I care about is the government. I'm fascinated by the way it runs, and kind of disappointed at some of the people I see representing me. Yeah, I even watch C-Span.
They love to party, preferably with their friends, a close group of friends or their friends, but don't mind strangers. I don't like to "party" all that much; but you're right, the only people I can really tolerate in a party setting are those who I could tolerate outside of one (aka: my friends)
Partying sometimes includes other drugs rather than weed, combined with lots and lots of alcohol. Partying includes drugs and alcohol for others but not me, I'm the sober DD.
Likely to be smokers as they wanted to be cool. Sh*T! Thank you so much for this! I had no freaking clue why I went through that whole smoking period for 10 years of my life. I'm glad you solved that puzzle for me.
Generous, would share a chocolate that costs $50/kg that he just got from his grandma overseas with a friend's friend just because he's there with him at that moment. Pssshhhh.... No. I love chocolate, and I'm eating it all, thank you very much. Can't be trusted to do something they promise, likely to just forget it. May even skip a class because they forgot about it, or a driving lesson, even if it costs $200 to retake it and they don't have it. No. No and No.
Don't know if the following is country-specific, but: don't like to work, unless it's illegal and relatively easy. Wait... my ESFP welcome guide didn't tell me I was only allowed to do illegal work. I'd better get on that right away.
Very impulsive, prefer to set "schedule" 15 minutes before it happens, an hour tops. No, I actually prefer to know about things, at the very LEAST, 24 hours in advance.

And that's all that I'm going to touch from your post, because answering the questions began to hurt my brain. And it would have taken me a very, very long time to go through them all, since I seem like the complete opposite of any ESFP you have in your mind.

If you really want to understand ESFP's, understand that you can't peg "behaviors" "motivations" or "fears" on us. The only thing you can peg on us in the way we take in the world- which is through our five senses. We're very observant people and adept at reading body language and between the lines. After we process something through our senses (Se), it goes to our introverted feeling center (Fi) where we determine how we feel about something. Let's take your example of sharing the chocolate I just got from Grandma with a friend's friend. I might realize friend-of-friend is standing there, but my Fi might tell me that friend-of-friend is an a-hole and I might resolve to not share anything with them, even if that ask. Conversely, I might process that they did something nice for friend of friend, and might offer to share even before they ask. Oh, and we also use (Te) which is that function that looks for logic, faulty reasoning and allows us to be decisive and stick to schedules.

Anything else you'd like to know, you might want to provide specific questions about functions instead of sweeping stereotypes and examples that aren't type specific- that would be most appreciated.
its basically really similar to isfps!
 
#7 ·
@Fat Bozo

That was a truly awesome post. Helps me understand ESFP so much more. And remember how much cooler my life is when I have an ESFP in it. :)

PS I just happened to notice you quoted me in your signature. I'm not sure I've ever been quoted before. Wow. I'm sort of famous. :)
 
  • Like
Reactions: Fat Bozo
#8 ·
@Fat Bozo

That was a truly awesome post. Helps me understand ESFP so much more. And remember how much cooler my life is when I have an ESFP in it. :)

PS I just happened to notice you quoted me in your signature. I'm not sure I've ever been quoted before. Wow. I'm sort of famous. :)
Thanks! I hope people get something out of it, and as voicetrocity said, don't just rely on "sweeping stereotypes." There are so many different ways that the ESFP personality is expressed. There are ESFP teachers, insurance salesmen, ministers, travel agents, surgeons, stock brokers, receptionists, lawyers, newsstand owners, restauranteurs, missionaries, etc etc and many more. We're not all junkies with no morals or self-control. The ones that are may get more publicity, but then that's true of any type. The kind of extreme behavior mentioned in the OP doesn't represent the average ESFP in daily life I don't think.

I quoted you in my signature because I thought it was a great, brief reminder to people. Yes, stick with me and you'll always be sorta famous. :proud:
 
#11 ·
Well, I must admit that I have addictive tendencies. I do smoke and find it hard to have just the one socail glass of wine. Although, that may have nothing to do with being an ESFP. My friends that are also smokers vary greatly personality-wise and I doubt any of them are ESFPs like me. I smoke and drink socially usually, whereas I have friends that drink, smoke or use other substances alone to try and cope with their problems rather than expressing their feelings (my INTP boyfriend for example).

In saying that, I'm very disciplined when it comes to exercise and sport. I get a real buzz from it and enjoy pushing my body to the limit. I'm really able to push past the pain and just focus on my fitness goal of the day. It keeps me motivated and balanced. I would go as far to say that I'm quite tough in that regard, rather than a stereotypical happy-go-lucky ESFP.

I find that my inner being almost doesn't exist when I'm not verbalising things or actively doing something, so it really pushes me to keep myself busy, to be productive and generally put myself out there. As a result I have a lot of life experience and feel that I'm quite a lot more mature than a lot of my friends my age (I'm 21). I have a very strong extroverted preference apparently, not sure if this is related as I'm very new to all of this.

My point is that with every strength there's a weakness, there's always a downside to every MBTI profile, nobodies perfect. A balanced person of any type won't have apparent destructive tendencies or display negative characteristics.

In unrelated news, apparently Richard Branson is an ESFP. That's pretty cool! I would much rather be compared to Sir Richard than another billionaire like Bill Gates (he's not a particularly warm person and is very analytical). That's just me though, I'm all for space tourism! :tongue:
 
#13 ·
Old post now but so accurate. Except my friend was mistyped as ENFP and being an infj although I like him as a person I just can’t feel the Ne! I think he fits the ESFP description a lot more. Don’t think he will ever steal as he has got a high moral code but most of other descriptions are pretty accurate.
 
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top