This is a discussion on How do you guys feel about INTPs? Out of curiosity ;) within the ESFJ Forum - The Caregivers forums, part of the SJ's Temperament Forum- The Overseers category; Hello there! I'm just wondering what your guys' views on INTPs were as a whole; you know, as we are ...
Hello there! I'm just wondering what your guys' views on INTPs were as a whole; you know, as we are your opposites and all... sort of...(if you know any)! My boyfriend is an ExFJ (probably an S) and I was wondering what you thought of us. Just doin some research ;)
Any feedback is appreciated and I'm interested to hear your responses!
woah. you have no replies.
... *crickets* ...
How come no responses... ?
El oh el. Well this thread has been informative so far.
Fellow ESFJ are probably just trying to think of sufficient words to express their unconditional, overwhelming love for INTPs.
I am actually interested in hearing all you guys' thoughts on this sort of thing too. As an INTP who will soon be marrying an ExFJ (most likely an S), I think your input would be pretty interesting. Go ahead, fill us in. What do you love, what do you hate, what do you just fail to understand? I promise I wont try to account for our actions.
Keep in mind the idea of introspection verbalized in writing, the most natural thing in the world to INxP's, seems to be completely alien to the average ESFJ, so they stay well away from forums like this one. They probably see it as a waste of time. The handful who ever post here are extreme outliers.
The few ESFJ's I've met in real life don't really like me though, though. There seems to be a pretty big barrier to mutual communication.
Well, it depends on the INTP.
Some, I LOVE. Like my Pastor, cousin and Professor. They're all awesome. Some, I'm not too thrilled with. . . I still will talk to them though, and do my best to make their time around me enjoyable. So yeah. It really depends. Haha. Sorry if that's not descriptive enough for you. =P
You would probably get better responses from ESFJ's that you know personally. Go out and live it, and ask the ESFJ's what they think of you. Then you'll have better statistics. ;)
Well....
This thread seems to sum up all interactions I've had with ESFJ's. Personally, they terrify me. This is because every interaction I've had with a female ESFJ, their utter disapproval of me was soul-crushing in its intensity and thoroughness. I always came away with the impression that everything about me offended their sensibilities.
These experiences may have been out of the ordinary, though, because each time the ESFJ in question was my manager at work.
Now I'm genuinely curious as to why the ESFJ's were offended by me. Unfortunately, when I knew any ESFJ's I was still too terrified of social interaction to honestly ask them why they seemed to hate me.
Anyone want to take pity on me and let me know what you like/dislike about INTPs? Honestly, I won't be offended or take anything personally, or be hurt by anything. :)
Originally Posted by Benjiboy180
Hmmm maybe I can give you a bit of feedback on my past relationship with an ESFJ. Well, first off, he was caring and nurturing. I mean, I could not believe how selfless this guy was capable of being. Anytime I freaked out about something, he always knew exactly what to say. He was always there, I never had to remind him to make little gestures or call me and check up. He did it automatically. He said "I love you" constantly. He was always super loving with his gestures. We had very well established rituals that he just stuck to. ESFJ men are just so aware of your feelings and how to care for them. Even after five years, he was devoted and loving. I always heard my friends complain about how their boyfriends were heartless and absentminded. I NEVER had any of those issues with him.
Of course there was a downside (hence the word "ex"). Really, he just never understood my weird ideas and tangents. I felt like I couldn't talk to him about whatever contemporaneous interest I held. I love learning and reading about so many things and he didn't really relate at all. Also, he would lie to me just because he didn't want to hurt my feelings. It was about stupid shit too. The lie really upset me because it was just more hurtful then hearing the truth. He also seemed incapable of using his own internal compass. I feel like all of his values were determined by what everyone else is doing. He wasn't a free thinker and never really broke away from the pack. He would get extremely upset about things that I just didn't understand. After time, I realized the best way to deal with his emotions was to give him time to cool off. I found imposing my rationale on him when he was pissed just upset him more regardless of how calm and composed I was. He was always the one who would yell and cry about things.
Anyway, there were good and bad parts to it. Ultimately, I don't think an ESFJ is really my type. I have dated other types (ENTJ and INTPs) and I feel like intuition as a secondary function is just magnificent! I mean the possibilities are endless with an intuitive.
For what it's worth, I have a female ESFJ friend how finds me horrifying sometimes. She thinks my sense of humor is incredibly vulgar and that I don't act like a "normal girl." She gets angry when I say perverted things (which I am very prone to) She also finds my obsessive intellectual pursuits "Nerdy." In fact I think she has been quoted as saying "all obsessions are nerdy/dorky).
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