[ESFJ] Why do people dislike ESFJs?

Why do people dislike ESFJs?

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This is a discussion on Why do people dislike ESFJs? within the ESFJ Forum - The Caregivers forums, part of the SJ's Temperament Forum- The Overseers category; I'm just wondering why people pin ESFJs down as being one of the most unbearable types because, personally, I don't ...

  1. #1
    Unknown Personality

    Why do people dislike ESFJs?

    I'm just wondering why people pin ESFJs down as being one of the most unbearable types because, personally, I don't see anything about you guys' functions that would make you unlikable.

    Fe--group oriented, like to make everyone feel welcome, empathetic, caring
    Si--remember little sensory details
    Ne--explores possibilities
    Ti--not so great at applying subjective logic?


    Obviously, my description of the functions ^ was extremely watered down, but even so, whats so offensive about that combination?

    I don't get it.
    NeonBomb, Seeker99, marzipan01 and 20 others thanked this post.



  2. #2
    INTP - The Thinkers

    hey everybody seems great in a laboratory setting, it's in real life that they get obsessed, possessive, controlling and other words with double letters in em

  3. #3
    ISFJ - The Nurturers

    I have an ESFJ IRL. To be honest, I didn't like her on the first day I met her. But after we've become friends, I think she's such a great friend! We get along really well.
    Acey, Miss Scarlet, Celtic Dreams and 9 others thanked this post.

  4. #4
    Unknown Personality

    Quote Originally Posted by The Proof View Post
    hey everybody seems great in a laboratory setting, it's in real life that they get obsessed, possessive, controlling and other words with double letters in em
    true, but doesn't that go for all types? i mean, what makes people pin it on the ESFJs mostly? personally, i think people are just typing all of the people they don't like as esfjs and that gives them a bad stereotype. maybe its because theres not enough esfjs here to defend themselves so its one of the easier types to talk smack about online.
    Inky, WickedQueen, NeonBomb and 34 others thanked this post.

  5. #5
    INFP - The Idealists

    I can't speak for others, but for me it is extroverted feeling, it wears me out. I find it to be smothering. Just my two cents. I don't have anything against ESFJs as a type, I just know my personal experiences with a few ESFJs hasn't been pleasant - I don't blame it entirely on them, but rather on the fact that I don't mesh well with those people, it is on both parties in my case anyways.
    bluefaerie, lirulin, Nymma and 16 others thanked this post.

  6. #6
    Unknown Personality

    Quote Originally Posted by sRae View Post
    I can't speak for others, but for me it is extroverted feeling, it wears me out. I find it to be smothering. Just my two cents. I don't have anything against ESFJs as a type, I just know my personal experiences with a few ESFJs hasn't been pleasant - I don't blame it entirely on them, but rather on the fact that I don't mesh well with those people, it is on both parties in my case anyways.
    do you think you could give me an example of Fe being smothering? I'm just curious. :)
    iemanja thanked this post.

  7. #7
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by ItsAlwaysSunny View Post
    do you think you could give me an example of Fe being smothering? I'm just curious. :)
    Well for one, my mom will force food on me I do not want. She will tell me the best way to take care of my health, my daughter, etc. Her intentions are good, she is looking out for my welfare, but she will not allow me to make my own decisions or be my own person. She tells me how I am feeling, and that is a big no no (especially because she is usually wrong). Those are just a few things.
    LadyJava, bluefaerie, Seralya and 46 others thanked this post.

  8. #8
    Unknown Personality

    I'm also surprised that people don't like them much.
    I have an ESFJ friend and she a very sweet person and usually has good intentions. The most things I don't like about her is that she talks way too much about almost anything which is extremely annoying and that she kinda close-minded.. but no one's perfect, right?
    But maybe the unhealthy ESFJs (exteremly controlling and manipulative) are unbearable.
    bluefaerie, sriracha, pretty.Odd and 23 others thanked this post.

  9. #9
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by StarStrucked View Post
    I'm also surprised that people don't like them much.
    I have an ESFJ friend and she a very sweet person and usually has good intentions. The most things I don't like about her is that she talks way too much about almost anything which is extremely annoying and that she kinda close-minded.. but no one's perfect, right?
    But maybe the unhealthy ESFJs (exteremly controlling and manipulative) are unbearable.
    Yes, I think being unhealthy is the crux of it (and that goes for any type). I don't put it all on my mother, I just don't interact well with her, it is on both of us and we need to meet in the middle. Only problem is, she doesn't recognize this easily.

    My mom talks a LOT and about inane things, and she is definitely close-minded. I am fine with that as long as she doesn't try to impose upon me. I am still working out my boundary issues :)

    FWIW I don't dislike ESFJs.. I just find it difficult to relate to them
    lirulin, Nymma, feefafo and 11 others thanked this post.

  10. #10
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I'd have to agree with Fe being overbearing and thus, easily annoying to others. I'm an Fe user myself, but I think having Ti as my tertiary helps me balance out my Fe use a great deal. ESFJ's don't have Ti as readily available, and will rely on their Si and Ne to back up their decisions. My mother is ESFJ and she drives me up a wall. I love her and respect her way of thinking, but it's not something I easily relate or agree with.
    nim, Invidia, anotherjenny and 10 others thanked this post.


     
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