[theinterweb]

Today, after just finishing the second to last test before Graduation I found myself talking to a friend of mine who I have known for almost 12 years now. We began talking about what a lot of teenagers resort to, gossip, in a way. We ended up talking about new relationships, old friendships, who's fucking who. Then I realized I was stuck in a rut, or about to be. I've recently begun to come into my extraversion after years of highschool awkward. I'm starting to become better in social situations, flirt, and even talk to people on the phone. Yes I know, impressive! But I feel like I'm still stuck in a rut, hearing about all my friends, even the most awkward ones, being successful with the opposite sex, etc. I know this is pure Fe right now, but fuck there's nothing worse than feeling like you haven't progressed. anybody have any counsel? What do you guys do when you feel like you're not progressing? What do you do when you feel like you won't have the ability to progress in the immediate future? Thanks.

[bellisaurius]

What do you guys do when you feel like you're not progressing?

That's why you're supposed to have goals. You're not stagnating if you're moving toward graduation.

What do you do when you feel like you won't have the ability to progress in the immediate future?

You think about the further future.

Basically, your real life doesn't start until you have a job, a home, and a family. Then stagnation might set in. Everything else up to then is just another step on the road. You're probably just being a bit overly introspective; it's normal until big problems start crossing your plate.

[Psyphon]

Or you could go the other direction and be completely irresponsible and go out and have random adventure after random adventure. You'll learn a LOT that way .... you'll also get yourself into LOTS of trouble that has the potential to either be really fun or completely miserable to get out of.

Or you can listen to @bellisaurius because he advise will make your life much more stable than mine will, so it's prolly better advise (if you're into that whole stability thing :P)

[bellisaurius]

@Psyphon has a good point. 10 years from now, you'll enjoy having all the stories. What you might consider a rut now could be cool stories down the line. This possibility shouldn't be underestimated.

[grizzlyy]

I've been feeling similar recently. Must be the nice weather..

What keeps me moving is knowing that I can control how I feel about the situation. I may be stagnant but after I become aware of the situation, I can take the next steps to engage myself.

[ENTPreneur]

Ne-doms think FAST, and are aware of how their thought processes go, more so than Ni-types. That is, all possibilities -most w negative outcomes- will come to mind when flirting w prospects. Basically, you overthink it. When older, your Si will keep your "possibility"-engine in check with "probability". For now, you will be awkward and nervous as teenagers are, but more than most as you have time to overthink everything. Boy, I was like this anyway....

For me, a brush with Death, and also actually surviving a SUPER-embarrassing situation taught me that life is too short to worry about everything. And girls are just other humans with strengths, weaknesses and boobs. I know many girls and boys in these years can be assholes.... That is how it is when people just get something for nothing. Think of it like this; If you struggle a bit just makes you more interesting, and you EARN your badges.

I am older and I have seen so many girls (and some boys) being... down in life after their physical attraction scales down with age. I mean, having a peak at 20 (when hopelessly immature in most cases) doesn't build any character. Character protects you and builds real confidence... Being the prettiest and thus most popular person is fleeting.... it will pass. Being smart and having some rough patches will help you through life´s rocky path.

My peak was about 30-ish, and now it is dropping slightly, but I could get 20-year olds if I wanted. Which I do NOT. Time and preference passes... That is all I have strength to say about these teenager-probs that are so prolific here at PerC. Stay young, stay foolish!

[Noelle]

I think 'rut' is all about perspective. Soon, those who got married and had babies and are doing the 9-5 grind on a daily basis will feel like they are in the 'rut' and the ones that are out living their lives unattached are the ones not in the rut.

Just do what makes you happy. (And, preferably, what keeps you fed as well.) Everyone thinks the grass is greener on the other side.