[O_o]

One thing I've always wondered is how on earth people manage to stay in relationships. I have friends who've been going out for years and I'm in aw at the fact that they've managed on stay that long together without getting bored of each other.

I just don't get it. With friends, at least you don't see them very often or every second, so that when you actually hang out with them, there are things to discuss.... but with relationships.... Seeing each other all the time? Always having the other person randomly call you just to see what you're doing? Being married and LIVING together? How does anyone manage to do this without getting bored and in need to try something new? I honestly cannot understand.

Personally, I get bored of being in a relationship after about two weeks, especially when things begin to get repetitive. The most exciting part is not knowing how the other person feels about you, but once that's figures out, the excitement just kind of dies. Once things are repetitive, I start distancing myself usually without even realizing it until the dude goes 'you've been distance these past few days, is anything wrong? You can let me know if somethings on your mind, etc'..... Staying in a relationship isn't the problem, it's just being happy and wanting to stay with the person after a certain point that is.

Is there some type of cure for this? Or do I just need to find myself an extra eccentric guy who will never fail to be original? Can any other ENTP's relate?

[bellisaurius]

A good, interactive audience makes performances easier. In a given day, there's quite a few stimuli that pop up and allow a pair of people to talk and share different ideas, or if you're me, to make bad one liners. Also, sometimes one needs to provide the impetus to get the other person going.

While I would say it as a joke "Conversationally, I can bleed a stone," in a very real sense I think it behooves us to make the other person interesting sometimes. Y'know to get them going.

Now, when one gets married, an effect I like to call "Proximity comfort" comes into play. Basically, one learns to just like having another person in the house. You still only talk to them part of the time anyways. It doesn't feel forced. maybe you make some funny comment about their TV habits, but otherwise just enjoy the basking.

[Luckyperuser]

I suffer of chroninc boredom in relationships. I don't know if its men or certain personality types, but whatever it is its perdictable. I want a challenge not a puppet. I try really hard to be a nice person who doesn't take advantage of a relationship, but I feel like I am dating glass sometimes. It is easy to see through and breaks under any pressure. That's why I am going to find INTJ personality and see how that works. Plus to keep me interested I am going to challenge myself by finding someone who is hard to read and is super cynical. You know add spice to life.

[Sellihca]

Oh good God, the ultimate ENTP curse.

[Rune]

Do ENTPs ever crave going on adventures with friends, family, or lovers?
Do you ever want to challenge your partner to keep growing alongside you as you try to accomplish goals that are compatible?

I am scared of settling down.. so much. In fact, I refuse to settle down if I can't find someone that will make sure the relationship stays interesting and/or exciting to some degree.. because what the hell is the point of being in a relationship if you are just going to get stuck in a boring routine and end up losing your ability to grow/evolve as a person.. :/

I know I am an Idealist, but if all I can ever do is dream about romance, well.. I could be doing so many other fun things instead of simply fantasizing about relationships. :/

I was wondering if ENTPs ever look at romance similarly.. where they want it to be an adventure.

Oh yeah, also.. do ENTPs find too much structure in a relationship suffocating or threatening?
Would they rather just avoid the labels/obligations/expectations/commitments and just let things happen as they will?

[O_o]

I suffer of chroninc boredom in relationships. I don't know if its men or certain personality types, but whatever it is its perdictable. I want a challenge not a puppet. I try really hard to be a nice person who doesn't take advantage of a relationship, but I feel like I am dating glass sometimes. It is easy to see through and breaks under any pressure. That's why I am going to find INTJ personality and see how that works. Plus to keep me interested I am going to challenge myself by finding someone who is hard to read and is super cynical. You know add spice to life.

EXACTLY. And I'm currently on the same quest. Think I found one though, he's handsome and the ultimate nerd who's silent, then suddenly turns around and screams at his friend to shut up... turns around again and goes on being polite, gets randomly hyper, glares at me in the hall and then smiles like a maniac when I notice. And enjoys arguments about theories.... probably the most turbulent, unpredictable and smartest person I've ever met and I wish there were more like him.

[O_o]

Do ENTPs ever crave going on adventures with friends, family, or lovers?
Do you ever want to challenge your partner to keep growing alongside you as you try to accomplish goals that are compatible?

I am scared of settling down.. so much. In fact, I refuse to settle down if I can't find someone that will make sure the relationship stays interesting and/or exciting to some degree.. because what the hell is the point of being in a relationship if you are just going to get stuck in a boring routine and end up losing your ability to grow/evolve as a person.. :/

I know I am an Idealist, but if all I can ever do is dream about romance, well.. I could be doing so many other fun things instead of simply fantasizing about relationships. :/

I was wondering if ENTPs ever look at romance similarly.. where they want it to be an adventure.

Oh yeah, also.. do ENTPs find too much structure in a relationship suffocating or threatening?
Would they rather just avoid the labels/obligations/expectations/commitments and just let things happen as they will?

I can definitely relate to some of the things you said, especially about wanting to so on adventures. I mean, I have a list of things I'd like to do before I get old and crinkly, which includes riding down route 66 on a motorcycle, walking across the Great Wall, ridding a camel though the desert, etc. And the last person I'd like to be with is someone who just wants to sit there, watch TV and waste their life away... I find that sad.

And I definitely agree about the structure of relationships being suffocating. I guess because it's so common, so typical and so predictable. I hate the expectations involved (getting married, living in a picket fence house, having children, etc.) Even in typical relationships, going on typical dates, expecting presents on valentines day, etc... I feel like it all leads to the same place. The world is such a wast place, with so many different things to see, try and learn... the idea of just spending all those valuable years on taking a path down with someone who doesn't appreciate any of that and wants a routine life sounds like a waste of time....

[theaustinknight]

Boredom is the bane of the ENTP's existence.

For most of my life so far, I've avoided relationships for fear of returning to my nasty old habit of get the girl-->get bored-->dump the girl a week later-->have the blood from yet another broken heart on my hands, because frankly, sometimes being a rotten human being sucks.

My advice to you is to seek out a partner who intellectually challenges you and is completely unpredictable; it really, really helps in keeping the boredom down. For instance, girl I'm dating right now: INTJ whose moves I can't predict at all, who can piggyback off a topic I bring up and lead us down a huge rabbit hole of awesome ideas. Most girls are like RPGs to me--after I ask them out, it's like I've beaten the game, and there's nothing left to do except fight off some low-level monsters with my high-level characters: BORING. This girl, though...she's like Tetris.

[IDontThinkSo]

I need people to challenge and surprise me (in a good way) while avoiding troublemakers like the plague .. This doesn't give me much opportunity to bond with people. Generally I find a new place, make many friends, it lasts a few months, or years .. then I move away. I feel no excitement in travelling, though. Same damn planet.