[Lady Lullaby]

lullabyblossom



I do very poorly with sustained emotional drama. Should I expect that?

Can you believe I just barely saw this? Sorry - guess I'd left and wasn't tagged or something...
This may be past-due, but for the record, I'd say I'd hope any healthy human being (no matter their MBTI) would 'do very poorly with sustained emotional drama.' I'd hope that the INFJ male you are curious about is self-aware and able to express the reasons for any moods he might have so that it doesn't ever become sustained or dramatic if he is behaving/feeling extra emotional. (Granted, 'extra' is relative when viewed by a thinker vs. a feeler...LOL)

[mockingbird girl]

(Granted, 'extra' is relative when viewed by a thinker vs. a feeler...LOL)

Word.

Thanks for the reply, we have an unique connection. We try to meet in the middle despite our different perspectives. It is good.

[Gypsykid]

INFJ's are dangerous. They are looking for perfection (while I believe I am and yet, constantly striving to be, the perfect choice), are wonderfully complex (while I'm infinitely curious) and they actually admire deep, profound thoughts and epiphanies. I don't know if this summarizes all INFJ's, but they seem to have a bit of a wild side too. They want something novel and adventurous. They are slow to settle down because they won't settle, while I'm slow to settle down because I'm just too restless and they have a way of getting to your emotions, yet not exposing them.

I've been in touch with this INFJ lately who has my head spinning. I don't know, maybe the whole ENTP + INFJ is a myth, but after meeting a few myself, I've joined the bandwagon.

I found myself feeling the same about ENTP. Its not bad while it lasts.

[the3rdpower]

I find INFJs amazing...

Some spiritual
Some scientific

They just a very good logical fit. They counterbalance us quite well. Finding an INFJ however is a very difficult pursuit. It is of my opinion now (after trying for many) online is not the logical way to do this... of course this would depend on one's desire to pursue online. For me it is not logical after a few attempts. I will say that INFJs do love the written word and we love to talk. They also are very good in person... massive amounts of passion and energy inside them when you look into their eyes. I was with one for a longterm and there is a piece of her still within me whether we talk or not is not important. Another I went on a single date I messed up with but I did get the opportunity to look inside her eyes. It was pure bliss... you can get lost within the world below. The spirtual types are extremely deep and are very swift judges. If you do meet one be ernest is all I can recommend. Their blade is very sharp and it cuts with an authority that will leave you standing like a freshly cut tree. They are the authoritarian in a relationship and if you dominate or bowl one over you will feel less challenged and move on (this is part of ones growth I suppose.)

INFJs... they make me crazy and yes... I have been down the rabbit hole.

[jadedtortoise]

From experience INFJs(me) and ENTPs(my spouse) go together like peanut butter and jelly, ying & yang. ENTPs are much more extroverted, intelligent, and seem to ooze charm. They have a tendency to bat people around like they are yarn, just so they can unravel any barriers between them and the truth they seek. This tactic usually gives a negative impression, but all negative energies subside when you realize he/she is oblivious and is smirking with delight in having gotten through to a new layer.

The INFJ, is a very introverted person who completely believes that they alone in the world. This usually occurs from many years of seeking like-minded friends, and failing miserably. This can cause intense loneliness that in turn can create a very rich mystical imagination, or in my case, a very comprehensive view of how the world works. These observations are mostly under lock & key, due to extreme fear of being misunderstood, and being rejected too quickly. Other hidden talents for the INFJ is their ability to read people. Facial expressions, body language, choice of words can all be quickly digested to create a mostly accurate study of a person. I never freely express these observations, but they come quite useful when giving advice.

The amazing thing about the ENTP/INFJ pairing is that their awareness of each other transcends convention.

The ENTP strives to open up the INFJ, learn her mysteries and help her seek clarity, and confidence (the ENTP does not understand the INFJs shyness, and will often try to *cure* them).

The INFJ yearns to deepen the ENTP's emotional depth, self-awareness, and seek their full potential. This will often lead to hours of mutually fascinating conversations and debates that never seem to end. ENTP/INFJs obviously love talking to each other and hours can pass in complete nerdy bliss. When they aren't debating they are usually best friends and spend hours together enjoying each others company (whether its being coach potatoes, or making love)

[Laurenkenzie]

I REALLY hope someone responds to this. So, I am an INFJ and my husband is an ENTP! Wow. We just got married September 22 2012. We almost didn't get married because of how much we fight. Here is what our fights look like: conflict arises. He pushes me. I shut down. He continues to push, trying to pull something out. I completely snap, say something mean and try to get him to back off to give me space, he freaks out has an anger outburst, blah blah blah. Anyway we got married because we love each other and life is not life without the other person in it. We have had several different marriage counselors and we just started with a couple who are really into Myers Briggs. Wow this is rocking our world. It's a complete shock o get exposed to this community that says we are ideal for each other! But very encouraging, because it gives us hope that if we try really really hard, our marriage can be a beautiful thing.
My husband is a complete mystery to me, but learning about entp make is helping so much.
Here are some things I've known about him and have learned are entp trait(love/hate):
•charming.
•controlling
•argumentative
•visionary
•leader
•sensitive
•adventurous
•curious
•good at making money, even better at spending it.

Ok now here is where I need help. My hubs is way less interested in Myers Briggs than I am. So how can I get him to stop arguin with me so much? He wants to debate EVERYTHING.
ALso, I am confused about this: he wants everything clean and organized and often complains about how messy I am (oh yeah he complains A LOT is this ENTP????) He had to go out of town so I thought I'd bless him by cleaning up he messy house, really ragging myself hard for being so messy. After I made the bed I quickly realized something- I was picking up after HIM!! Yes I had a FEW clothes on the floor. But I was cleaning up crap tons of dirty dishes and trash from his office AND from around the house. All this time he has been making it feel like it was me! I'm not the most organized, but that freaking trash bag has been sitting in the kitchen for weeks and HE WON'T TAKE IT OUT!!!
He's often late which drives me nuts. He's bad with money.
I'm not trying to rag on my husband but right now I am so overwhelmed, we have such a hard time figuring out how to communicate and there seems to be always conflict between us. I so deeply desperately want harmony and peace BUT I don't want to be a pushover. I'm also in a job that I hate and this whole thing is so exhausting.
Is entp/ INFJ only good because we are so challenging to one another? Or is it possible to find peace? Is it true entp matures much more slowly than INFJ? I am like an "old soul" and he is like a .... Little boy? Idk. Is it true ENTPs "cry wolf" alot? Ie have a hard time following thru wih their word?
Relationship advice, stat!

ok now for some INFJ encouragement.
This whole new world is opening before me, a path to healing and growth.
I am a visionary leader, yet have a hard time choosing a path. Is this INFJ or personal to me?
i am free spirited, scattered, dreamy, sensitive l, messy, emotional and creative.. Yet want people to be where they're supposed to be when they are supposed to be there, follow thru with their word. I want facts to back up my feelings with. INFJ or just me?
i want to quit my job and follow my dreams of doing writing and photography full time, eventually having children and Bein a stay at home mom to raise the most kick ass kids ever. BUT I am terrified if doing that because my ENTP husband doesn't value security like I do, and I deeply fear him not supporting me or the lifestyle I feel like I need. He would be happy if we had to live out of our camper. I would not. I work at an insurance company doing data entry, it stels all my energy and kills my soul but I can't quit because I am afraid. INFJ or me?

this is soooo long and if anyone read this I will be so honored. I have so many questions.... Please answer whatever you feel led to answer from what i wrote and THEN SOME!! I am eating his stuff up!!!

[hela]

i am average and have a thing for socks

so what i'm reading here is that you got married because you have abandonment issues, now have extremely average and boring new-married problems regarding his socks or w/e and are begging for someone to demonize this guy so that you can feel self-righteous as you tremulously consider divorce

am i missing anything?

[Laurenkenzie]

Uh wrong? Geeze. I deeply love my husband, he is my best friend. We just have intense communication issues that are heightened to us because of our personalities. Glad to see you spent your time well by screwing with someone who is absolutely no threat to you because its on the Internet...

....thanks for all the insight

[hela]

Uh wrong? Geeze. I deeply love my husband, he is my best friend. We just have intense communication issues that are heightened to us because of our personalities. Glad to see you spent your time well by screwing with someone who is absolutely no threat to you because its on the Internet...

....thanks for all the insight

my pleasure.

[Zadriela]

so what i'm reading here is that you got married because you have abandonment issues, now have extremely average and boring new-married problems regarding his socks or w/e and are begging for someone to demonize this guy so that you can feel self-righteous as you tremulously consider divorce

am i missing anything?

That wasn't necessary. She was simply asking for help to improve something she cares a great deal about. The majority of problems are average, but that doesn't mean every individual knows how to solve them or that they shouldn't look to solve them. You also over exaggerated small pieces of her writing, while totally ignoring how deeply she loves this guy.
@Laurenkenzie Don't mind hela. Also, there's another thread specifically for relationship questions in the INFJ thread. They are likely to put serious thought into helping you and respond with respect. I know that won't get you many ENTP responses, but it might be worth a shot.

As for your questions about INFJ and ENTP traits: ENTP/INFJ can be good because we look at the world differently, yet communicate through the same functions. Complaining is not typically an ENTP thing. Honesty and manipulation can be. It's possible he either really believed the mess was your doing, or he just didn't want to clean it up himself. Can't say without knowing him myself. There are many young, mature ENTPs out there. I'm sure yours is worth helping to mature more, or perhaps once you fix your communication issues this will no longer seem like an issue. Also, consider that you may not be as mature as you believe yourself to be. I don't believe ENTPs have a hard time following through on their word...I just think that they often have a different opinion as to what is important.

Having a hard time choosing a path is not necessarily an INFJ thing. Perhaps you just need to gather enough information, or perhaps you should take action without knowing for sure, because change would likely help you figure out what you do want.

"i am free spirited, scattered, dreamy, sensitive l, messy, emotional and creative.. Yet want people to be where they're supposed to be when they are supposed to be there, follow thru with their word. I want facts to back up my feelings with. INFJ or just me? While this is a common thing for INFJs, it is still YOU. Like, I have adjusted to people being late. ESPECIALLY my ENTPs and ENFPs, because I understand why it happens and I love them enough to let it go. The way to not be a pushover about it is to compromise and communicate which things it is especially important to you that they be on time for. Such things might be a wedding, a dinner that you had reservations for, an event that starts at a specific time. You could also try meeting up plenty early. For the everyday things, don't worry about them being on time. You're independent. You can find things to do. If it's the honesty that bothers you about not following through on their word, then ask them to not SAY they will be there at a certain time, unless they fully intend to be. Give them time to adjust.

"my ENTP husband doesn't value security like I do, and I deeply fear him not supporting me or the lifestyle I feel like I need" If your marriage is to succeed, I think you need to develop some trust. Definitely talk to him about your fears, but know first why you fear this so much, consider whether it is a reasonable fear/desire, and think about whether living a safe life is truly worth more to you than your husband's happiness. He should be able to provide you the safety and security you need simply through his love and commitment. Everything else...they are just things.

It sounds like a lot of your fear is simply this strong for you because you are stressed. I would get a new job...something that allows you to focus on making you marriage a healthy one, and also makes you feel like you are accomplishing something significant/worthwhile every day.

"Here is what our fights look like: conflict arises. He pushes me. I shut down. He continues to push, trying to pull something out. I completely snap, say something mean and try to get him to back off to give me space, he freaks out has an anger outburst, blah blah blah."This is an awful way to handle conflict, on both your parts. Why does he push you about it in the first place? It should be a mutual journey toward improvement. Why do you shut down? Do you feel like he is being unreasonable? Is his tone too aggressive? He continues to push because he desires change and recognizes that your shutting down is counterproductive to that. If you care about your husband's satisfaction, you will need to put up with some uncomfortable conflict, and he will need to make sure his requests and way of communicating are realistic and loving. It needs to be an even give and take. I would get angry too if I was trying to make things better and the other person was practically ignoring me.

I have never been married, but I am confidant in my ability to understand good communication. feel free to pm me with your other questions. good luck to you