My initial take was purely Fe-based, a little bit of smoke and mirrors to "fool" our Fe to take care of us instead of only other people.
But what @bluenlgy is saying, the need to develop Fi, some kind of an internal judging system. This sounds familiar.
So, for your situation, you can think of the two approaches and see which one works better. I'd be curious to hear your opinion.
As I understand it the question is not how to device a plan of action, but rather what the proper goal is and the motivation behind it.
You can for example use Fe, say you live for your kids and family who are your closest people, you'd give your life for them. You'd do whatever it takes providing them with the best future possible and that includes teaching them to respect NT's like you, showing some "tough love" so to speak. They'll be hurt, they'll moan, your Fe will try to make you feel bad for them, but your amazing NT rationalizing abilities (we are the Lawyer type) will allow you to see how that is actually good for them and how you are sacrificing you own interests for them by in effect protecting your interests. You show your Fe another point of view, it accepts it and passes judgement on what is right and wrong the way you want it (weak underdeveloped Fi). Am I making any sense here?
Or develop Fi.
I don't know ... you tell me. Thank you so much for your contribution to the discussion.
@dagnytaggart , I didn't know Fe made us in touch with our feelings? It seems it makes us in touch with other people's feelings, not ours.
And if we feel like feelers to you, imagine how we feel about it when it starts developing, aka rears it's ugly head at the age of 14. Troubled teenage years, here we come :)
What do you mean control your feelings? Do you tell your Te "Stop. Now I'll use Fe instead, will pass judgement depending on how other people feel and was is appropriate and accepted in our society. You Te go to bed."