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This is a discussion on ENTPs upset that INFJ is "natural partner" within the ENTP Forum- The Visionaries forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; Originally Posted by Eye of the Potato I know, I can't talk to anyone without bringing it up, I'm actually ...
I don't think I've ever met a male INFJ. My husband is ENFJ, and incidentally my son is too.....actually I've had enough of feelers in my life (my daughter is ENFP) and if after the kids have left home and if I ever go it alone......I'm going to find me an NT.
You should check out duality in socionics. You'll never guess what type is perfect for you? The estj! You'd never think it but check out their forum, there's a few posts about that pairing there. My daughter can't see how it would be a good match but love isn't a logical thing. I've been with my dual for a few years and it has done everything it said on the tin.
I'm dating an INFJ now, as a matter of fact, and I have to say, it's going better than any of relationship I've had before.
An example could be going through philosophy in my Ne sessions just to see her being in the top on a national philosophy contest.
I need more of intellectual connection. Not even emotional. Have to believe that I face in fact someone who is capable to expand my world map. I've seen that in her she turned nuts when I couldn't text back as I've been on hangover of my life ;) Personally I don't care about people responding. I tend to move on to someone/something else straight away. Sort of send and forget.I think it's great you judge based on personality. You're one in a million. lol. I'm the same way, I can't stand the lack of emotion involved with night stands and stuff like that. I need something more. I need more emotions...haha, can't get enough emotions, right? I like attachment too. I like to be attached especially to friends. Not so attached that I'm clingy...but definitely attached enough that we respond to messages. If I show someone that I care about them, I will feel emotional about them not showing the same kind of respect back. Wouldn't you be upset if someone didn't respond?
There is this looks that I'm catching instantly. Eyes + face expression. Hard to describe it just strikes me. Similar with other types.haha, uh oh. No one ever told me about NFJ radar. lol. Where do you buy one of those? People, sometimes tell me that they can tell I'm nice and innocent from my smile. They tell me it's a little kid type smile, but I don't see it. haha, and I wonder if I'm fooling everyone around me with my smile....
I found out that I would go for different things with different types. Conflict and arguments for example is a given with ESJs. I would say INFJ is in a flow group for me I prefer to exchange and expand ideas then striking some useless drama. In general with Introverts I'm more in peace or they run away :)It may be bland..but it depends. Do you prefer scattered conflicts and arguments OR harmony? I feel like whoever I end up with should be a feeler. or if they are a T, it should be mixed with a P. lol. I sound so nerdy right now. haha.
Actually other way around :) But once the line has been crossed I went for my routine-sort-of-move-on-behavior that I have displayed back then. She was fully aware of that and projected the end to some extension. The only exception was that I was already attached. Couldn't run away that easily this time. I've even done simulations how it is to come back with other girls to make it "perfect". Rotfl.Alright, something tells me that you once were disappointed in being in the friend zone with an INFJ. She wanted to be friends, and you wanted to be more than that?? Why do you find it is hard to move on with INFJs?
I wouldn't say that. Especially with the lucky part ;) I run away from traps haha.Wow, you're lucky, you seem to meet a lot of INFJs in real time.
someonesane, don't take this harshly, but allow me to cross in to the blunt side for a second.
Why does it upset you when an ENTP doesn't text/message you back? Is it because you are insecure and are worried that the reason he's not texting/messaging back is that he doesn't approve of what you said?
Would a similar personality be attractive because the would be equally vulnerable and emotional and (imaginatively) say/do the things you dreamed up (unfairly) in an ideal guy?
Does it have something to do with the fact that you may have had hard feelings towards an ENTP because the chemistry was there, but the situation didn't play itself out so you got defiant towards the "ENTP/INFJ Ideal" stereotype?
I guess my point here is that we put so much emphasis on personality types, but if that person isn't ok with themselves, (I know that sounds cliche) or is bringing baggage into the situation, then the whole "Ideal match" wouldn't make a difference and would only leave you pushing blame towards those predicting the ideal match.
Personally, I have crazy chemistry with INFJ's, but they take an ENTP who is patient towards the INFJ's feelings and emotions, and respectful and appreciative of the added order the INFJ brings to the ENTP's world. That's certainly not something you're born with...it's something you develop.
Likewise, it takes a self confident INFJ to realize that the lack of a reply message/text or seeming indifference was no reflection on them, as well as the understanding and patience towards the ENTP's wild heart and carefully guarded sensitive side.
I was fortunate to be the only "Ti" in a family full of feelers, so I know how to react to emotions and have learned to restrain my confrontational side. My family has also learned to appreciate my bluntness.
In the perfectionist world of the INFJ, sometimes it's difficult to see someone who stretches you to truly be what's best, but from my experience, I have no reason to doubt the "ideal pairing" logic thus far.
I don't know any INFJs personally. I think I would click with one very well but that just hasn't been a possibility. I'm more upset that they are so rare than I ended up matched with INFJs. I do well with NFs and I'll be honest...I get like this sometimes where I'm like ARGH EFFING NFs DRIVING ME UP A WALL! SO FLAKY! SO DISINGENIOUS! SO NEEDY! But I tend to get over it because everyone is different and truthfully I don't think it's possible to pick out the little pieces you don't like in a personality like raisins in bread; they are there to make that person the whole human being that they are---and if you took something out it would imbalance something else possibly taking away those things you liked so much in the first place! I have to remind myself of that when I'm screaming about the effing NFs ;)
Also just realize all types are different. We might not respond right away or at all but it's just how we are. If you're close to one of us we'll respond and enjoy conversing but sometimes it's just ...taxing...to be expected to act a certain way in the name of communication. Plus it feels like catering to me every once in awhile when I try to do what my NF needs and he doesn't seem to bother to think about what I need (though that is probably unfair, I'm sure he does, I just don't notice when I'm a grumpster).
By the age I am now I have figured out NFs are the best fit for me. They fulfill my needs better and I've finally kinda figured them out, kinda. At least I've figured out how to be a better partner to them. I think you may be getting upset again about things that none of us are really meaning to convey ;)
LOL. That was deep, and I had to think for a couple of minutes of what I wanted to say. First isn't it normal to feel upset when someone doesn't respond. It's not that I'm completely insecure or think that they don't care about what I say, but I feel slighted. I feel slighted because I was willing to put in the energy in communicating with them and they didn't do the same in return. It's a polite thing to do--to respond to someone. I mean, I'm not going to say that I never feel insecure, and maybe subconsciously that has something to do with it. But, so many people feel the same way as I do. They hate when people don't write back especially when they expect an answer. In your head, you are expecting some kind of an answer that you may or not get. It messes with your expectations, if that makes sense. I'm not going to yell at someone if they don't respond. LOL. I won't judge someone because of it, but I feel like if I'm going to be in a relationship with someone, they better respond :)
My T is developed more than some would think. I'm not trying to live in a perfectionist fantasy world. I know that I'm a realist. I expect reality, and I know that no one is perfect. As I said before, I love ENTPs! I'm not trying to say that I would never be into one.
LOL. it seems like you put a lot of thought into this. I've had feelings for an ENTP as you know from my last thread :) Not anything severe, but it didn't play out the way I thought and that was because of me. I decided not to go through with things or go any further with it because I changed my mind about him. I definitely could have made more attempts. To be honest, I don't even know why I wanted to talk to him again. I was having one of those crazy impulsive days and then I impulsively made a thread and impulsively responded to things on the thread. :) I don't think that itself made me want to reject the ENTP/INFJ "stereotype". But would it be wrong if that had anything to do with it? Our experiences shape our opinions and after all this is my opinion ;) Others, by all means, are free to differ. I advise it.
haha, are you calling me unconfident and insecure? lol Just kidding! I do try to be understanding of other people. I'm not perfect either, and I know that I can help to develop my personality. It's a goal of mine actually. Thank you for the advice. I appreciate it :)
I'm the opposite. All T types in my family. I'm the only F type, but it has helped me A LOT!!!!!
I wish you best with any INFJ you meet.