[Rizos]

History with my Entp guy: we met almost 2 years ago. We were both coming out of bad long term breakups with others. We met, hit it off and started to spend a lot of time together. I naturally fell into girlfriend expection phase since that is what I'm used to.. he backed off, we continued seeing other but when I found out he was seeing others I backed off and told him I just wanted to be friends. I slipped a few times and hung out with him but I always ended it b/c I couldn't reconcile anything longterm happening in my mind.

Part 2: I went overseas for 3 mos. We still emailed here and there. He came to see me for about 2 weeks. Honestly, I don't know why I agreed as I was more filled with fear than happiness, fueled by the fact he grilled me on who i'd 'been with' while I had been there and further irritated me stating he knew I and another girl were in love with him but he couldn't decide. He was in contact with this girl while visiting me, but kept it on the sly while saying she was too cling and needed to end it with her. I was pissed and it didn't go well.

Part 3: we talk here and there online. He dials me up one night to tell me about a girl he thinks he might commit to and asks my advice. I know he values my mind and my opinion, but am again putoff, b/c I still have some feelings for him. I ask him isn't there anyone else you can get advice from? We don't really talk much for a couple of months, his other relationship ends.

Part 4: I get ready to leave to go overseas again for a few months. He asks me to not go and date him. He said he never allowed himself to be vulnerable with me and wanted to try. I said no, and leave. He emailed me the and there stating he missed me. I returned and we gave it a shot. He was very different, vulnerable and awkward even. I still wasn't sure, he has a child and I thought he might still have feelings for his ex, plus I had a hard time trusting Gm. He has been with A LOT of women. He said he wanted to live with me. I was confused and started acting weird, maybe a mixture of being clingy for reassurance and mixed signals for uncertainty. He said I was taking him for granted and got weird jealous a few times. I sensed he started seeing girls again and his good friend confirmed it.

Part 5: we were talking and I let the above slip, wa duly grilled over 2 days. I told him what I was told, and he said he was very disappointed in me, that the guy liked so his advice was biased. He said I should have asked him and now he thinks he is done.



I get it....that this would piss someone off withholding info. But I was hurt and needed time to process my feelings. Through all of this, where before I was wishy-washy, I think I have come to love him, but I don't have any idea how to mend it..

Thanks in advance for reading my diatribe and offering any advice. I'm an NF btw, if you can't tell.

[yesiknowbut]

Why on earth do you want to mend it? Sounds like he is messing with your head. How on earth can it be right that He grills You for knowing about his being with other women and not telling him? Um...he has been with other women. Is this something to ignore?

Run, don't walk.

[Rizos]

Why on earth do you want to mend it? Sounds like he is messing with your head. How on earth can it be right that He grills You for knowing about his being with other women and not telling him? Um...he has been with other women. Is this something to ignore?

Run, don't walk.

*sigh* maybe it is this simple, but he is an excellent manipulator and a tested entp. My holding on came from his line that when he commits he is very loyal. I relate and for a short time, saw this side of him. It is hard to move on.

[Torai]

Mend the relationship by giving him a big punch in the face and telling him to screw off.

Even if you have these feelings, it's clear that he does not. He just wants to use you as some sort of booty call. You deserve a man who treats you with respect and regards your feelings instead of tossing them aside.

Besides, if you don't punch him in the face, I'll use my Ni+Fe combo to threaten and scare the living shit out of him. We're excellent manipulators in that regard, even worse than the ENTP's.

You'll have to excuse me for my behavior, I just have a deep hatred for people like the one you described.

[yesiknowbut]

I'm not sure what being an excellent manipulator and a tested ENTP have to do with anything. I am an excellent manipulator and a tested ENTP. I would not treat another human being like that.

Once again: run, don't walk.

[Rizos]

How does an Ni + Fe combo work??

[Torai]

How does an Ni + Fe combo work??

You'd have to mimic the emotions of a serial killer and subtly threaten the person, sending chills down their spine... This works better if you have a weapon. Pretty much, this manipulation I have the framework for is a form of method acting. So, I would need training, such as watching tons of movies with sociopaths in them.

It would be interesting to see how I would pull this off. I need more drama geeks as friends.

Even this post is a little intimidating... I might be able to pull this off. I'm kind of scared of the potential I will have if I ever spend the time acquiring this ability.

[Sellihca]

Women, man. I'll never understand.

Pretty sure this guy's a serial killer on the weekends. Anyone who says "I know you and this other girl are both in love with me and I don't know which to choose" is to be avoided.

[devoid]

Excellent manipulator? Get the hell out, now! xD I was with an ENFJ who was also an excellent manipulator. News flash: It doesn't matter how cool or great or amazing he is, or how much you have in common, how much you love each other, how much you think he's hot... Have some self respect dammit.

[Olmed3011]

Trust your gut feelings and do not let him talk you out of them. I thought a relationship was supposed to make you feel happy, at ease and inspired. This guy just pulls you down and sounds like a shame for his race.