[ENTP] Forced Compassion

Forced Compassion

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This is a discussion on Forced Compassion within the ENTP Forum- The Visionaries forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; I've been accused fairly frequently of being without compassion. Frankly, I don't see it myself, unless my accusers mean that ...

  1. #1
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    Forced Compassion

    I've been accused fairly frequently of being without compassion.

    Frankly, I don't see it myself, unless my accusers mean that I am without the sort of fawning, sentimental emotionality that I find revolting. My "feeling" for people is usually expressed with a concerned gaze, a nod and some possible ideas on what could be done to help.

    I honestly believe people who are "down" will have a chance to be "up" again in some way, and that suffering is a gift. Sometimes the best help I can offer is just this observation. Problem: This sort of talk sometimes gets me compared to John Wayne Gacy and other serial killers. In certain company I am expected to force a kind of bleating goat noise, tears and a supposedly-heartfelt "I'm with you buddy!!!" or something similar. I find I just can't do it.

    So, common perception of ENTP's?
    agokcen, xrevolutionx and calysco thanked this post.

  2. #2
    Unknown Personality

    For those who haven't developed Fe yet, of course.

    Those of us who have, however, just grin (or bleat, as you say) and bear it. I can't fake compassion all of the time, but I've learned to do it for the sake of making sure others don't think I'm a total jerk.

  3. #3
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    I am the same way. Their problem is not my problem, so why should I feel bad because THEY are having a problem. I am good at thinking of solutions on the spot, but they.make too much sense for most people in the moment I guess.

    Compassion and sincerity can both be faked when you have learned the correct body language. I have actually studied how to lie and consider myself to be pretty good at it. But only use it for small stuff that helps me avoid life's "speed bumps".
    SlowPoke68, CJ99 and Mr.Katzenjammer thanked this post.

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  5. #4
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    I have the exact same problem. My friends will tell my that I can be real cold when they're pouring out their feelings. It's not that I don't care, it happens to be that I'm processing everything they're saying and giving them the floor to fully vent. I can't reciprocate their feelings because I'm not going through the same dilemma (even if i've been through it before) but I do give them insight/perspective, tell them on some level that I sympathize with them and ways to cope. It still isn't enough for some though...
    SlowPoke68 and TemporarilyRyan thanked this post.

  6. #5
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    Had a bit of this. I am quite good at looking concerned when people are pouring it out, but you know, I find that they don't come to me to confide, anyway. Probably best that way!

    people who emote a lot probably mistake lack of perceived empathy for lack of compassion. So when they are blaming you for your supposed lack of compassion , they are just being a bit stupid and selfish, and not offering you the courtesy of an attempt at understanding......
    agokcen and SlowPoke68 thanked this post.

  7. #6
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    i don't really do the whole "fake compassion" thing really. If someone I like is down over something I care, but that doesn't mean I show it overly much. Most of the time I'm pretty good at helping people with their issues by looking at it differently and trying to find the silver lining of the situation. If it's someone suoer emotional I can't really help much though, other then to just sit and stay with them.
    SlowPoke68 thanked this post.

  8. #7
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    i don't have any compassion or sympathy. i'm quite nice though.

    and patronizing.
    SlowPoke68 thanked this post.

  9. #8
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    Quote Originally Posted by Andrea View Post
    i don't have any compassion or sympathy. i'm quite nice though.

    and patronizing.

    You must watch "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" then. ;-)

  10. #9
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    Compassion is one of those emotions I haven't learned to express yet, I do have it, but only in certain situations and it manifest it self through unique ways. It may appear forced most of the time in accordance to society's cultural definition of how campassion is supposed to be displayed, in contrast with my unique expression of it.
    SlowPoke68 thanked this post.

  11. #10
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    Read the story of Parsival. Compassion is nothing more than seeing something wrong and asking what is the matter, and giving a shit about the answer. How you express it.....not the issue. Those that think it is, like I said,are probably rather self-centred.
    Quin Sabe and SlowPoke68 thanked this post.

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