[Paradox of Vigor]

Wow, maybe you should consider his angle: He got out for once, actually talked to people, met women whom he is usually too flat-footed to approach, vented his feelings about his recently-deceased father to someone who cares, and wants to do it all again next week. Things are a little different down off the ivory tower, here. Alcohol is a respected social lubricant. It might even help you!

Perhaps my distaste for alcohol stems from childhood. Either way I don't bottle up emotions from supposed negative events in the hope that one day I can express them to someone who cares.



I destroy negative emotions by my relativistic outlook on the past. Besides, alcohol-invoked events are cliche' and often lead to disaster. There is no reasoning behind it.

[MegaTuxRacer]

I have noticed that you really have to push them to get out of their comfort zones.

[Figure]

I approve of all of this, only I don't agree that INTJ's and ENTP's naturally need each other because I heavily dislike I's.

Heh, well aren't you a brave soldier. Quite the logician too, yessss, my friend, quite the self-sustainer. PROPS.


Anyway, the best way to show an INTJ a good time is to get them to join along in something they would usually not do (i.e. social or thrillish), but in which they would not have a significant chance of failing at. They probably won't thank you for it or show any outward sign of enjoyment, but if they are more well-liked or become more-esteemed as a result of the activity, they will be grateful inside. They will likely talk about it later, as if they had always thought it was fun (when they didn't really think that at the time).

An ESTP made me be part of fight night when I was pledging back in undergrad, and set me up with two guys, one I could smoke, and one I didn't stand a chance with. Heh, somehow I dished out a black eye. Quite the memory. Made me dance on top of the car at a drive through once as well, to that stupid Chumbawumba song.

Not endorsing a fight club on here, but you get the picture. Crazy shit that makes us get out of high-strung mode.

[WamphyriThrall]

A good time for this INTJ is having the house all to himself the whole day. Living with four other people, even all being introverts, takes it's toll on you, so having the freedom to do what you please and not have to worry of interruptions and distractions is truly a godsend. The only time I feel similar relief is after entering a library or bookstore when activity levels are low, usually towards the evening or early morning.

With that said, true friends are hard to come by, but if an extroverted friend were to be an asset, I'd prefer they help me in social arenas of my own interests. What I'm saying is that I'd prefer someone listen and understand those needs versus dragging me along to activities I have little to no interest in. He might appreciate, even be thankful, for exposing him to the real world, but it could lead to resentment and create distance in the long-run if it starts feeling forced.

With my ENTJ friend, I was never coerced into attending parties or being a part of movie nights. Each time, I was asked, sometimes twice, then had the chance to add my own suggestions. Women, interviews, leadership, these were all my ideas, and he helped as much as I needed, with the rest being left up to me. The unspoken rule was that if I wanted to socialize, I'd make the first move. Especially after high school, we'd go weeks without speaking while the ESFJ and ESFP would constantly be in contact.

[HippoHunter94]

I get along ridiculously well with ENTPs. If there were anyone I'd want to go out for a good time with, it would be an ENTP (or maybe an INTP.) Heck, my girlfriend is an ENTP (though right on the edge of T/F,) and we have a really good relationship. Going out with her is fun.

[MegaTuxRacer]

With that said, true friends are hard to come by, but if an extroverted friend were to be an asset, I'd prefer they help me in social arenas of my own interests. What I'm saying is that I'd prefer someone listen and understand those needs versus dragging me along to activities I have little to no interest in. He might appreciate, even be thankful, for exposing him to the real world, but it could lead to resentment and create distance in the long-run if it starts feeling forced.

Right but that's the key. Take the flipside of the coin. Say an INTJ was pushing an ENTP to just sit down and read a book for an evening alone. Indeed it would be good for the ENTP, but it's not an attempt to change the ENTP's behavior. It's the same thing with the OP. It's good to have some degree of variation in ones life, but it is not good to actually change to fit another's worldview. I think @SlowPoke68 was doing the latter for his friend.

Sometimes it's good to do stuff for no reason other than to see what happens.

[quadrivium]

-Walking back to the car, when a homeless guy starts yelling at you, yell back at him. Use "motherfucker" and "cocksucker". Watch Mr. INTJ laugh his ass off.

I too enjoy gratuitous cursing. This was a good read.

[WamphyriThrall]

Right but that's the key. Take the flipside of the coin. Say an INTJ was pushing an ENTP to just sit down and read a book for an evening alone. Indeed it would be good for the ENTP, but it's not an attempt to change the ENTP's behavior. It's the same thing with the OP. It's good to have some degree of variation in ones life, but it is not good to actually change to fit another's worldview. I think @SlowPoke68 was doing the latter for his friend.

Sometimes it's good to do stuff for no reason other than to see what happens.

That's where the problems begin: When you start "pushing" someone out of their comfort zone. OP has his heart in the right place, and the story seems to be a success, I'm only making aware of a few potential problems that could develop down the road. Because Is and Es operate on different wavelengths, use different forms of communication, a lot of times the extrovert assumes everything is fine, since no huge protest is made, while introvert is seething inside. Then one day there's a fallout, with extrovert having no idea what was going on under the surface.

Again, not disagreeing with OP, just being hyperaware of boundaries.

[Signify]

That's a heavy generalization.

Oh the irony. But seriously, I find me and INTJs to have some unspoken constant friction between the two of us. The more time we spend with one another, the more we want to kill each other.

[SlowPoke68]

.

With that said, true friends are hard to come by, but if an extroverted friend were to be an asset, I'd prefer they help me in social arenas of my own interests. What I'm saying is that I'd prefer someone listen and understand those needs versus dragging me along to activities I have little to no interest in.

Well, thank you for your input . . . but . . . . it was his idea . . . . I was along for the ride, as I have been many times in the past. He knows I'm a catalyst. That's how our friendship works.

So again, probably not a good idea to generalize too much, right? Though I have other INTJ friends (having that type is almost a job requirement in our field), and my relationships with them basically work as mine does with him.

Maybe you all DO just need to get out more. Thoughts?