ENTJ + ISTP Relationship

**n2freedom** · 12-30-2011 06:19 AM

Okay so I have inundated the ISTP subforum trying to figure out this insane non-relationship that I have this ISTP. We have been involved for about a year now. It has been the weirdest involvement that I have ever had in my entire life.

Usually I don't get in so deep with someone that I can't walk away when I am ready. And, usually I am in the driver seat of my relationships. Well, no way Jose' in this one. He's been in the driver seat since day one.

And, no matter how many times I tell him I'm done with him...I let him come back. WTF? I can't get him off of my mind either. Usually, immersing myself into projects and or new goals will help me to get over anyone and move on. But, not this one. He has really gotten under my damn skin.

It has been the most off/on, push/pull, hot/cold involvement I have ever been in. I'm not sure of his Enneatype but I am leaning toward either 6w7, 7w8, or 8w7. Also, when he took the test he split 50/50 on Extravert/Introvert. He acts more like an ISTP than ESTP though.

Has anyone else dated an ISTP? If so, want to compare notes? Because I'm baffled as hell. Or, if anyone based on MBTI/Enneagram knowledge have any insight concerning compatibility?

**vt1099ace** · 12-30-2011 01:45 PM

Are your 'tellings' direct and to the point? or subtle 'clues', and 'hints' ?...if they're like me subtle may not even appear on the radar.
There are times I need to be hit with a big clue bat upside the head to get the hint.

**n2freedom** · 12-30-2011 05:07 PM

Originally Posted by vt1099ace

Are your 'tellings' direct and to the point? or subtle 'clues', and 'hints' ?...if they're like me subtle may not even appear on the radar.
There are times I need to be hit with a big clue bat upside the head to get the hint.

That's a very good question. I would say both.

**vt1099ace** · 01-01-2012 02:59 PM

Originally Posted by n2freedom

That's a very good question. I would say both.

Both could be sending mixed signals or they're interpreting a positive and putting a huh? signal with the other.

For me when I've had to take myself out of situations with those few that burrowed into me (and it sounds like they did) I've had to avoid all contact, put in time and distance and even then shades/shadows still lurk in the corners....but it did ease the sharp aches.

that's just me though..

**n2freedom** · 01-01-2012 09:06 PM

Originally Posted by vt1099ace

Both could be sending mixed signals or they're interpreting a positive and putting a huh? signal with the other.

For me when I've had to take myself out of situations with those few that burrowed into me (and it sounds like they did) I've had to avoid all contact, put in time and distance and even then shades/shadows still lurk in the corners....but it did ease the sharp aches.

that's just me though..

Thanks. I'm at a lost how to navigate this situation any more. SMDH. I just don't get him but I do get him. I know that doesn't make much sense. Trying not to throw in the towel but it's kind of hard not to given the circumstances. :(

**etroth** · 01-02-2012 07:17 PM

. . .and we are never bored with each other. He is totally brilliant in his field and smart enough to take me as I am. I cannot do his "thing" and he cannot do mine. . . ever. We created two super kids neither of which gets either of us but calls it our "dynamic".

I so can never change him and he isn't likely to think it worth the effort to change me.

I have long conversations with him that clarify my thoughts and he may occasionally actually hear.

**n2freedom** · 01-03-2012 01:33 AM

Originally Posted by etroth

. . .and we are never bored with each other. He is totally brilliant in his field and smart enough to take me as I am. I cannot do his "thing" and he cannot do mine. . . ever. We created two super kids neither of which gets either of us but calls it our "dynamic".

I so can never change him and he isn't likely to think it worth the effort to change me.

I have long conversations with him that clarify my thoughts and he may occasionally actually hear.

Thanks for sharing. I really enjoy the ISTP personality and would love to meet one that we are on the same page at the same time. By far, at least based on him, I think the ISTP personality type will suit me well. Unfortunately, in this case we are not on the same page as far as what we want from one another.

I appreciate your sharing... :D

**etroth** · 01-03-2012 11:04 AM

not sure what "on the same page" means to you but I found that all other types are seldom, if ever, where I am. Just my nature I guess. I must respect and know my chosen is smarter than either of us, kinder, and full of integrity. We have no problem with which leads as it is a given, I do. He seldom follows but it works for us to walk our life journey side by side. His utter focus on one project at a time can drive me nuts but that is about me. He is true to type. Intimacy holds us really close because if he is going to do something he is going to do it right ;-)

Good luck with your experience. . . hoping you make that connection that fulfills your very high ENTJ expectation.