Hey everyone, Iím writing this to start with in Word since I want to set this text up properly first before posting it. I might post it in both INFP and ENTJ forums, I hope thatís okay with the moderators/admins, Iím not sure yet though.
I know there is at least one thread about a very similar topic(in the ENTJ forums) but I want to create a new one in hopes of getting some insight with my situation.
Here goes, Iím an INFP. Iím 25 years old and I started school this august where I met this ENTJ girl whoís in my class. Sheís a bit older than me, 32 to be exact and I was immediately drawn to her. Sheís extremely beautiful and I find her personality absurdly fun and interesting. Sheís a hard worker with a childish spirit and sometimes says the silliest things. She had a boyfriend(or rather some guy she was meeting as she put it) but that thing kinda drifted away since he had some problems with alcohol and she felt he wasnít really trying to improve himself. I talked a bit about it with her and over the last couple of months she has said she wants to break up with him, although she constantly said it wasnít that serious with him.
We have always talked a lot since school started and have gotten along very well. Sometimes even flirting, me kidding about that sheís so cute I canít stand being away from her and she saying that she would like to have a man like me. All in good fun. She particularly has a soft-spot Iíve found for me telling her how sheís a hard worker, like going to the gym often and trying hard to do well in school(ENTJ thing I guess).
Ten days ago though, the Saturday of November the 5th this other girl from our class had a birthday party downtown and most of my classmates went there(including this girl I like). When we were both quite drunk she started kissing me, then before I knew we were touching a lot(still in the bar with our friends) and then we ended up going to her place.
We fooled around while talking about how stupid it was of us to do this, since we were in school together and the fact that she hadnít broken up with this other guy. She also mentioned she was really afraid of it getting really awkward in school on Monday.
She started to feel guilty about it and saying that she would feel really bad about it the day after if we would continue(since she hadnít officially broken up with the other guy). I paused a bit but I felt strong signals that she actually wanted it to happen, she really led the whole thing, so to speak. So we continued and then afterwards we just lay there and talked and that was actually the part I enjoyed the most, just holding her in bed and talking with her and she seemed to enjoy it as well. I said I would call her the next day to make sure she was fine. She seemed to appreciate that. After we had been fooling around for a while, and it was like 5 oí clock in the morning she said I needed to go since her 5 year old daughter would be coming home from her dadís place early in the morning. Understandable, I left and called her the next day.
She answered and sounded okay but she said she felt terrible, that she was just overloaded with emotions. On Monday in school she talked about that she still felt terrible. I said she probably just needed some time to recover. On Tuesday or Wednesday she sent me a text message apologizing from behaving like this, saying that we could only be friends and nothing would happen between us in the future. I answered in a typical INFP way, I said it was fine, she didnít have to apologize and it takes two for these things to happen so she shouldnít feel guilty, it just happened. I advised her to just sleep and eat well, exercise(which she actually does a lot of) and take it easy.
A few days went on by and I convinced myself that I shouldnít seek her out as much, so to speakÖ that I should give her some space and let her get a bit better. It was hard for some reason, really really hard. I thought about her so much last week. Now itís Tuesday, November the 15th and itís been ten days. Iím not very experienced in these kind of things since I havenít been with many girls but I think Iím doing everything kinda right. Itís getting a bit awkward though since itís actually been more than a week since we talked privately with each other in person. I feel like I should just talk with her and tell her how I feel about the whole thing, which is that I still want to be her friend and Iím open for more but if she doesnít want it, I guess thatís fine. Maybe Iím scared, maybe I donít care that nothing happens. I donít know for sure to be honest. All I seem to care about is if sheís okay, which she probably sees as a weakness.
If you got any insight or can relate to the situation, please share your thoughts. I know she is(or at least was) into me and I could tell from a variety of different signals in different places. Although now she doesnít act the same way, like she doesnít want it to happen. Sheís also been very awkward lately though and it could be that. I just want to understand since weíve talked so little lately, Iíll probably confront her soon and just talk with her, it feels right but Iím kinda shying out of it, making the situation more awkward.
I need to stop writing now because this can just get really confusing, please write if you have any thoughts to share ☺