ESFP in love with ENTJ??

**EveryoneSuperFunPal** · 08-16-2011 07:33 AM

Originally Posted by lodemia

Please don't take this the wrong way, but BORING. Don't tell her how you feel, show her what makes her someone you want to pursue. Much more interesting, and will probably lead to far better results than telling her some words.

Come on! As an SP, you have to have something far more creative that you can do. How about putting some of that artistic creativity into telling her? I think she'd appreciate the gesture, assuming it was something uniquely personal. You do know her well enough to do something personal, don't you?

Of course, you have the possibility of creeping her out big-time, but I guess that's the chance you take.

Put some thought into it, don't be boring, and show her what life would be like with you by her side. She will very much be evaluating your performance here, so don't blow it.

After I read this, I sent her flowers to her sorority house with a note(by the way she's 4 hours away). Go big or go home.

**wiarumas** · 08-16-2011 09:44 AM

Long distance? Ouch. Better play defense on that. There might be a point in the relationship where the ENTJ thinks the logistics of the relationship aren't matching up with their plans. I've broken up with a girl before because we weren't graduating at the same time, going to be living in different cities, and going to be long distance for an undetermined length of time. If the relationship has an expiration date, I might be tempted to call things off and shop around a bit.

**EveryoneSuperFunPal** · 08-18-2011 09:13 AM

Let it be known to all ENTJ's who contributed to this thread.

First, Thank you!

The ENTJ girl is now seeing the ESFP guy. Her sorority sisters said that she cried when she received the flowers(this might be a big deal for an ENTJ?). After that, she gushed for 24 hours about how sweet I was. We spoke last night till 2am, and came to the conclusion that building on our relationship was something we both wanted. We'll see how it goes!

**Monkey King** · 08-18-2011 10:21 AM

Originally Posted by EveryoneSuperFunPal

Let it be known to all ENTJ's who contributed to this thread.

First, Thank you!

The ENTJ girl is now seeing the ESFP guy. Her sorority sisters said that she cried when she received the flowers(this might be a big deal for an ENTJ?). After that, she gushed for 24 hours about how sweet I was. We spoke last night till 2am, and came to the conclusion that building on our relationship was something we both wanted. We'll see how it goes!

Hahahaha gg.

And flowers? Pffffffffffffffffft. That's her thing. =)

**Transcendence** · 08-18-2011 12:14 PM

If I ever got flowers, I'd laugh.
Takes more than a few petals to score me.

Congratulations, you're dating a slut with zero standards.

**lodemia** · 08-18-2011 12:47 PM

Originally Posted by TheOpenDoor

Congratulations, you're dating a slut with zero standards.

That's a little harsh, don't you think? As an ENTJ dating an ESFP, it could have been time for him to put up or shut up, and he just put up, which she measured and very much appreciated. Personally, I would have done something different than flowers, but meh, it worked, and it was efficient!

@EveryoneSuperFunPal Here's the dealio. You just set your own standard with her that you are willing to put forth effort into the relationship and rescue it when it needs to be rescued. Don't forget this...

**Thomas60** · 08-18-2011 12:49 PM

Originally Posted by TheOpenDoor

Congratulations, you're dating a slut with zero standards.

Seriously, you meant to say that?

**Transcendence** · 08-19-2011 05:46 AM

Just relax, it's my very impromptu way of saying I'm impressed. :P

**EveryoneSuperFunPal** · 08-19-2011 08:32 AM

Well I want everyone to know I really appreciate any and all input.

This has been a crazy last couple of days! haha. I find this ENTJ girl so fascinating. It's almost like she deems me "worthy" of her affections. Her exact words, "I totally underestimated you". And, "You know me so well" and, "Most guys are just intimidated by me, and YOU just laugh

". She also said that she was beginning to feel stressed out with our situation because I wasn't making a move. And that was the reason why she backed off. The only thing I'm concerned about is the fact that she's about to finish her last year of college, and I just graduated. And now we're 4 hours apart.

I think we're going to get along for the most part, just as long as I don't step in her sandbox. Haha.

advice??

**lodemia** · 08-19-2011 08:46 AM

My advice is that if you're interested, you continue to pursue her from afar. It can be rough, but if she's worth it, you'll figure it out.

Just consider that her last year of college is a very busy time, especially for an ENTJ who will probably be playing 4 or 5 prospective employers against each other. Be aware that this is just a natural part of who she is, and try not to get emotional or offer too much advice to her when she's going through this. Please, please don't pester her to find something near you. If it's important to her that the two of you be together, she'll find a way to make it happen, and you will probably need to be open to out of the box thinking in order to make it work.

On a personal level, don't sign yourself up for anything too long term. Don't go buy a house or a new car or anything like that. Be flexible and wait to see what the next year brings. If she really is the one, the two of you will have to settle the geography issue. Like I said earlier though, this will probably be undecided until she gets the job offer she wants.

Find ways to show her that you appreciate her, and do so often. Not so much to be a pester, but enough to remind her how great her life would be if she chose to live it with you. Be mindful of her time, and treat is as a precious commodity. You have the $$ now, so help her out when you can. I'm not saying that you have to flood her with gifts, but you probably have more money for gas than she does, so plan on going to her more than she comes to you.

Good luck.