[ENTJ] The core shortcoming of the ENTJ?

The core shortcoming of the ENTJ?

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This is a discussion on The core shortcoming of the ENTJ? within the ENTJ Forum - The Executives forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; Hi all, I'm an INTP guy involved with an ENTJ girl for half a year, and we've both been crazy, ...

  1. #1
    INTP - The Thinkers

    The core shortcoming of the ENTJ?

    Hi all, I'm an INTP guy involved with an ENTJ girl for half a year, and we've both been crazy, crazy analytical with each other's personality. So I listed her shortcomings as I see them, and I read posts here, especially the "What pisses you off about ENTJs", and I think I've figured out the core flaw in ENTJs. Curious what you think.

    Quite simply, they believe that the way they see the world is the way it is. So all the gripes about ENTJs being bossy, condescending, hypocritical, rigid, always believing they are right, never apologizing, difficulty sympathizing, proud, etc results from this. The other day I told her that we see the world not as it is but as we are. I'm not sure if the lightbulb came on, but I'll keep trying.



  2. #2
    ENTJ - The Executives


    What a fun relationship. Spending time analyzing each other and you listing her shortcomings. How about listing her gifts and talents and all the things she brings to the world and the relationship.
    Martini, L'Empereur, devoid and 6 others thanked this post.

  3. #3
    INTP - The Thinkers

    There would be no point in such a post.

  4. #4
    ENTJ - The Executives


    So you would rather summarize the negative instead of emphasizing and looking at the positive

    Lovely.

    Away with you troll
    Abraxas thanked this post.

  5. #5
    ENTJ - The Executives


    Quote Originally Posted by Dear Sigmund View Post
    What a fun relationship. Spending time analyzing each other and you listing her shortcomings. How about listing her gifts and talents and all the things she brings to the world and the relationship.
    DS, you're right on the point - because the last time I checked, love is about accepting each other despite the "flaws" and working around those.

    OP, if you can't do that, you guys might as well break up.
    Dear Sigmund, devoid and Iselia thanked this post.

  6. #6
    ENTJ - The Executives

    Quote Originally Posted by Martini View Post
    DS, you're right on the point - because the last time I checked, love is about accepting each other despite the "flaws" and working around those.

    OP, if you can't do that, you guys might as well break up.
    If I had to guess I'd say they had an argument and this is his way of ''venting''... doesn't necessarily mean the relationship is always based entirely around analyzing and judging each other. OR this is why INTP's can't have nice things...

  7. #7
    ENTJ - The Executives

    Quote Originally Posted by hades_oribi View Post
    The other day I told her that we see the world not as it is but as we are. I'm not sure if the lightbulb came on, but I'll keep trying.

    Creepy, sounds very similar to what someone once told me. Even though I understood what he was saying, I still disagreed. The lightbulb only flickered for a few seconds.

    I think the world should be seen as it is and overcome it with who you are; so that one can change it as it should be. I think it's dangerous to see the world as we are because expectations not met can have some psychological effects on an individual. Hence, I always look at how something is first, harvest what I need to know then use it to change my circumstance.

    I agree with free thinking and all that feel good philosophy on individuality but many times I've seen people play the game without researching the rules and fail horribly. So how I've processed your statement is that you believe the world is you. The individual is the world, but we all know that's bull. The world operates a certain way based on what society has made it to be, knowing how it operates is the key to winning it.

    Lastly, here's a relationship tip: Being analytical is only exciting when there's a problem and it needs to be fixed. Don't get caught up in this weird analytical romance you guys are having.
    Martini, Btmangan, lirulin and 1 others thanked this post.

  8. #8
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Quote Originally Posted by hades_oribi View Post
    The other day I told her that we see the world not as it is but as we are.
    This is false.

    We see the world, and who we are is blended into what we see. The whole point of being objective is trying to eliminate the subjective from what you are observing. While this is obviously impossible, nevertheless, it is the goal. By striving to keep the biases of our own identity, and others, separate from what we observe we can get a better approximation of what is actually going on in the external environment. Hence, validation by peers - but also fallibilism.

    And... on another note, why do you say that this short-coming has anything to do with being an ENTJ?

    It does not. There are many other types on these forums; I suggest you read their sub-forums, for you will discover this behavior is present in more than just our own, and it is not even accurate to say that it is present in ENTJs more than any other type. In fact, I would say it is even less apparent in ENTJs than most other types.
    lirulin and Mello thanked this post.

  9. #9
    Unknown Personality

    Quote Originally Posted by Aila8 View Post
    I agree with free thinking and all that feel good philosophy on individuality but many times I've seen people play the game without researching the rules and fail horribly. So how I've processed your statement is that you believe the world is you. The individual is the world, but we all know that's bull. The world operates a certain way based on what society has made it to be, knowing how it operates is the key to winning it.
    That sounds like Te-Ti disagreement. Ti's emphasis on individual's subjectivity "we see the world not as it is but as we are" vs Te's emphasis on objectivity "world just operates a certain way".

    My advice to the OP is to either accept your girlfriend for who she is or move on. She will never see the world in your way. It is just how her mind is wired, so you can continue arguing about it but not reach any agreement. If you want people to see this kind of subjectivity in accordance with you then date other Ti-types.
    lirulin, Monkey King and devoid thanked this post.

  10. #10
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    Quote Originally Posted by hades_oribi View Post
    Quite simply, they believe that the way they see the world is the way it is.
    I think I'm a bit confused at this. Are you saying you think that the world is different from how you see it? Do you trust other peoples' view of the world, or none at all?

    How is this even a shortcoming? If an ENTJ is flexible as a person (which has nothing to do with type) then he/she will be able to accept new viewpoints as their own when given reasonable proof. So perhaps a young or underdeveloped ENTJ would be bossy and condescending, but this could be said for any type. I think you should look deep into your INTP soul (er, subconscious brain function) and realize that you can also be extremely condescending - because all people are. It is a healthy function of our psyche to support our ego, which means sticking up for what we believe in. Just because your ENTJ voices her opinions and you do not, does not make her any more condescending by nature.

    In short: You two have no functions in common. Your brains work in different ways. Rather than trying to point out all her flaws like a douche, why don't you just accept that her way of viewing the world is equally valid to yours? Or are you the one who can't handle another person's world views? :P
    lirulin thanked this post.


 
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