[noche]

I have a crush for a male ENTJ for years... I met him for the first time while we was in university, we took same major. It was at 2000 or 11 years a go. We started become friend and we end up as a very close friend. As me, an INFJ, i rarely to fall in love with a guy... I don't want to fall in love with him because we are friend and he makes me feel so comfortable. I'm so afraid to loose our friendship.



He has a very different quality like mine. He is very smart because all ENTJs like to think from a very different side if compare with INFJs. So he always surprise me with his way of thinking which i admire about him. He rarely use his emotion while i'm so emotional. I can discuss anything open without afraid that he will judge me like other types will do. Although sometimes he hurt me with his lack of empathy but he learn to fix that side of him.

We've been in a platonic relationship for all this year. I'm trying hard to kill my feeling for him but the more i try, the more it become stronger. I know very well that i will end up being hurt again. He is a womanizer because he don't use emotion in his relationship.

What i want to ask, what do you, male ENTJs, seek in a relationship? Lately, he tell me that he don't want to play anymore and looking for a right woman to be his wife... I don't want to day dreaming as we INFJs always do. In the past, one time i cut him completely from my life because i was tired being hurt and he knew well that i like him more than friend. That was time when i hurt so bad and take another years to heal completely. He come into my life again about 3 weeks a go and we go on a relation like in the past... like nothing ever happened between us.

How to tell that a male ENTJ like you and have feeling more than a friend? I ask this because it's really hard to read your emotion.

Thank you for your help.

[Aizar]

Ah ha! Another one! Lookit, @ohTOMICho ! There must be some kind of magic between us INFJs and ENTJs...

I have an ENTJ boyfriend right now. I've found it's typically best to just tell them things out right. If you want to know something, ask them! They'll let you know. They're not the type to tiptoe their opinions around you.

Other indicators I knew? I really didn't, because he was good at hiding his feelings. We both flirted and hinted at each other, and then one day it dawned us that we had feelings for each other. After the fact I noticed he had never really flirted with anyone else, just me.

Since then he's let me know in no uncertain terms.

[noche]

@Aizar I think, they have strange power to hide their feeling... It's really hard for me to read them... which i never fail with other types ;D. He is very direct and doesn't love playing drama... that's what i love about him :D.

[ohTOMICho]

@Aizar, good looking out, my dear! Haha...I noticed there's a lot of INFJ/ENTJ couples on this site. :D

Yes, you would want to state things out right with them. Smart as they are, they could be pretty dense at times (of course I'm speaking about my own). >.>

I actually don't know what's a good indicator since he did all the pursuing. I didn't have a chance in the first place. I think he decided he wanted me and just made it happen. T^T

Hmm, he promised before that if his business takes off I won't ever have to work again. And that the first thing he's going to do after his dreams have been realized is go on vacation...and that he's taking me with him. ENTJs like their money, for him to say that...I'm thinking I mean a great deal to him. But give me some gosh darn affirmation!

Ah. Any ENTJ input? @.@ I'm obviously no help, OP.

[Monkey King]

I gotta find an INFJ..... I've noticed the pattern too @Aizar. My INFJ friend is going out with an ENTJ.

Anyway, I'm a female ENTJ but one thing I know for certain that we seem to share as a type is our need for direct communication.

@ohTOMICho If you're in his plans, he's taking you seriously. I can't imagine myself including someone in my long term plan if I had not envisioned them in it in the first place. And even if the original plan did not include someone else, to actually add another component of the big plan is like WHOA you must be important ;P.

[Monkey King]

One more thing, @ohTOMICho, I really don't think we're--- let me just speak for myself. I don't think I'M dense because I can pick up on any shifts in my friends' behavioral patterns which prompts me to ask if something is wrong. I just think for emotional stuff like romantic feelings, I ignore, because I don't like to assume someone likes me. If I'm not already interested, I probably will ignore it. If I am, I'm pretty direct. But, if it's a friend-turned-potential romantic interest, I'd probably be sneakier and drop clues for the guy to take advantage of. If he can't pick up on the clues, I will assume I'm just crazy and I'm wasting my time.

[SullenAesir]

He is a womanizer because he don't use emotion in his relationship.

Simply not being outwardly emotional is far from warranting the label of a "womanizer". That's not to say that he doesn't deserve it based on the other things you have said, though.

What i want to ask, what do you, male ENTJs, seek in a relationship?

For "serious" relationships, without rambling on about details, I would say a "legitimate connection". Relationships I do not take seriously, my motives and what I seek can vary greatly.

How to tell that a male ENTJ like you and have feeling more than a friend? I ask this because it's really hard to read your emotion.

I can't speak for everyone, but if I feel that way about someone, once I am assured that they think similarly of me, I will make it clear, in a direct manner, to that person that I feel similarly about them. Were this person to feel that way about you, I do not think that you would need to be asking about it without already having some assurance, if you have made it clear to him how you feel, that is.

But give me some gosh darn affirmation!

Based on what you have said, I really don't think you have anything worthy of worry. It seems like he has made it more than clear that you are indeed of importance to him.

[noche]

But, if it's a friend-turned-potential romantic interest, I'd probably be sneakier and drop clues for the guy to take advantage of. If he can't pick up on the clues, I will assume I'm just crazy and I'm wasting my time.

Can you give example what kind of clues that you will give him :)? Romance in a friendship relation is a position that somewhat confusing....

Simply not being outwardly emotional is far from warranting the label of a "womanizer". That's not to say that he doesn't deserve it based on the other things you have said, though.

He is a womanizer :D... that's what another thing that i'm afraid of him. He go from one relationship to another... even he can date two to three girls in one time. But when he found a steady partner, usually he will stay there but when the partner fail to fulfill his expectation, he would go to the same cycle again. I know this exactly because we are a close friend for that long time and he tell me anything.

For "serious" relationships, without rambling on about details, I would say a "legitimate connection". Relationships I do not take seriously, my motives and what I seek can vary greatly.

What do you mean by a "legitimate connection"?

[RamonV]

- Support in the process of achieving goals.
- Interesting conversations.
- Good sex.
- Humor.

I think most male ENTJs want something simple and clear, unstable relationships aren't our favorite ones.

[SullenAesir]

He is a womanizer :D... that's what another thing that i'm afraid of him. He go from one relationship to another... even he can date two to three girls in one time. But when he found a steady partner, usually he will stay there but when the partner fail to fulfill his expectation, he would go to the same cycle again.

Well, I can see why you like him, then ;)

What do you mean by a "legitimate connection"?

The gist of what I mean is in the basic interpretation of it.