[openedskittles]

I have casually known an entj male for about 3 years. Over that time he has not asked me out but he does seem to be observing me. Lately, we have talked on the phone and he comments on my attractiveness. I am an esfj and am curiously interested in him but the closest he has come to asking me out is to ask me to meet him for a game at the last minute. I declined as I had other plans. He does seem to be there when I need him. Is he interested in dating me or what? Should I just invite him to do something? Or keep waiting?

The comment on your attractiveness definitely sounds good.

I think if he wanted to have a romantic relationship with you, he would probably be inviting you to a lot of things to the point where there is no doubt that he is trying to spend as much time with you as possible. Asking you to meet him at a game at the last minute might just be because he thinks you are a friend and doesn't want to go alone or someone he was planning on going with bailed and just one invite seems uncharacteristically uninterested for an ENTJ with a crush, especially one direct enough to tell you how pretty you are.

I'm always a really good friend and there when people need me, so you'll have to be a bit more specific before I'm going to say if this means anything.



My first guess is that he is not interested in dating you, but you probably have ground to test this theory a lot more. Invite him to a bunch of different things, including things where you two will be alone. If he is interested, he will probably go to all or almost all of these invites with you and there's a good chance he will make a move if you two are alone and he wants to make this happen.

I recommend you make it somewhat obvious that you are interested in him. The beauty of an ENTJ is that if we are not interested, we can just take it as a very high compliment and continue to be friends with you without feeling too awkward about anything. First semester in college, one of my friend's friends was interested in me and I was not interested and never asked her out, but she is one of my best friends now.

[MisterD]

I'm curious if it is common for ENTJ's to really push for relationships and to let your partner see a different side to you than everyone else?
I enjoy the single life. However, I do push for relationships when the girl is hella awesome & I can picture us being good together. I will let my partner see a different side of me depending on who she is & where she stands with me. I wouldn't act cheesey & lovey dovey, but I would give her something that I reserve only to myself.. my undying loyalty. TACITLY & SECRETLY

What is the ENTJ male approach to dating?
women

Do you move fast?
I take her for a ride in my life, if she stays then it is on. I enjoy making the first move, the thrill of the hunt is INVIGORATING. If you get blown out then so what? There's alot of women out there.

Does it bother you if your partner doesn't reciprocate their 'feeling' side verbally?
if she is a dead fish with no passion, especially in bed then yeah? I don't expect, nor do I want her to cling to me like white on rice. I want a woman that is headstrong but still elegant like a woman. Doesn't bother me, but I do want a woman to show me she cares. Me & her against the world type of thing...

ENTJs are very blunt & direct, but in all seriousness I think we're very complex deep down. Still water runs deep huh?

[MissWendy]

I dont know if im in the right thread, pardon if im not. Among others this one seems the most suitable.

So here is the the situation.
There is this ENTJ guy, i met him about two yrs ago. We become a good friend, sometimes he help me. And he was engaged at that time, then he married we remain good friend. Someone you can ask for help if u need it.

During his marriage, he had an affair once ( as far as I know). Which lately he said was over for some reason. He felt that his mistress was too much attached in this relationship which was a disaster. He wont leave her wife nor his baby.

And this woman is not from her circle either, (hot but uneducated, low-class, bitchy, and absolutely not someone he would want to introduce to his mate and fellas) while at home he has already has a (not so pretty) but right woman from the right circle.

Recently some things changed, we started doing some project and we've spent time together.
We go out a lot (with a group of friends, so its not a date), and this is where my confusion began.

Things started to come, some of them were really pricey and some of the were kinda pricey. Im not talking about sports car or house. But lets just say its even more expensive or at least equally with present that you give to your girlfriend at her birthday. Some of it are things that I really want to have. Some of this things are given for my needs to finish the project (you can say half of it was for the sake of our project).

He brought me to fancy restaurant, ask me to go to island with him, even travel aboard. (Again always with a group of friends)

And this is just weird, we NEVER use the L word, or even saying something romantic seriously. Sometimes he flirt yes, but i think ENTJ do it all the time, with all people There is no good morning or good night text. NEVER had a physical contacts like kissing bla..bla

Sometimes I really feel that he can actually read my mind, for many times he help me. For so many times he put me on the situation that surprised me coz its funny that someone could know something that I never tell to anyone.
Im an INTP girl so Im use to understand that people would not understand me easily. Many would even find it hard. But this one do it so easy, which surprised me a lot.

Many times he was willing to make a sacrifice that I wouldnt even dare to ask. But even without me asking he did it. SOmetimes this habbit put him on a fight with his wife, if she found out coz mostly he was just telling a lie. He always pretend that everything is okay, that her wife is fine with me, and I found him very uncomfortable when I asked about his wife, so mostly it was just "dont ask dont tell". Sometimes he made a very clear statement like, she doesnt know about this, just so you know in case she is asking.

Sometimes he sucks also. Which is very weird for someone that I believe knew the situation and could read my mind but still do something that insult me.

We talk a lot yes, almost everyday. Mostly we just joke like a friends. He barely gv me a compliment, many times mocking me by saying Im chubby, spoiled, my taste is weird, bla bla.

And I just wanna know what do you ENTJ guys thinking?
Its not like Im gonna do something or what, I dont. I believe in marriage and im not intending to break anyone's. But sometimes you just curious, you just wanna know. And who is better to ask rather than ENTJ fellas? :)

So...pls kindly share your thought and pls do not tell me to ended the relationship since i dont have any.Thank you :)

[Nafatali]

From the perspective of someone who dated an ENTJ in high school, i still look back on that and kick myself for giving it up. Lol. We connected really well and neither of us wanted to break it off but we were heading in different directions in life. I think the thing i loved the most was being able to experience that 'inner world' that entjs only reserve for special someones... I

[hystericalglamour]

I have been dating the ENTJ from the OP ... I find ENTJ men to be clingy and when they lose control they 'shut off' and make their partner feel bad. I can see how the foil of an ISFJ would be magnificent for an ENTJ.

Besides this, some things I've noted:

ENTJ's know what they like and come on strong with HUGE attempts to capture the one which they desire. All the ENTJs I know seem to be extremely picky as well so this could be why they make big leaps to get someone they want; it doesn't come around very often.

I think the ENTJ and ENTP are great as friends, but not really 'easy' relationship material. The whole relationship stems from the ENTJ making every little thing into a competition and the ENTP upping the ante. This could be about how we eat our sandwiches, to him writing a paper that's due for MY class just to compare and prove that he is a better writer (which he wasn't, he made over 4 'judges' evaluate, and still can't let it go)

The ENTJ goes to great lengths to keep me happy (i.e. gives me spending money, drives long distances if i need him to (i.e I've been drinking), attempts to spend every night with me), however, it seems as though these things are so natural for the ENTJ rather than an actual desire to impress me.

Very aggressive in the bedroom/very dominant. Always uses play on words in a sexual manner, which can be quite amusing.

Extremely narcissistic ... to the point where every single person is a fan of his, and every girl mentioned 'fiends' him. This aspect of his personality annoyed me the most. Not so much that he thought highly of himself but more that he had this need to constantly verbalize it. This could stem from insecurity, as it was hard for this ENTJ to have a conversation without relating everything to himself. In essence this is what is breaking the relationship apart.

This ENTJ-ENTP match up I'm experiencing makes me wonder which MBTI is less emotional. As I, the ENTP, am always the one to blame for being emotionless, severe, overly logical, and possess a not so admirable lack of compassion/empathy.
And this point isn't meant to be grounds for a competition (unless you strike the first blow).

When with friends my ENTJ always lets the room know I'm with him, either by staying by my side or reassuring me -not that I need his reassurance I always feel like the most important person to him, which is comforting. However, there have been times when he's been drunk and attempted to completely humiliate me (i.e. makes me seem if I am this girlfriend that doesn't want him to go out, or drink) and builds this humiliation subtly until I end up blowing up out of aggravation. He only does this with people he is 120% comfortable around. I have also experienced another close ENTJ (male) friend of mine do this to his partner. ENTJ's are very good at rallying support and making those around them not want to stand up to them. They sometimes turn against the ones they care about most; it's one story out in front of an audience and another when his head is on the pillow next to you.

We have the most comical conversations ... especially over text messaging. They are usually very dry and sarcastic ... I'm still not sure if either of us actually ever 'gets' what the other actually meant. But they are humourous nonetheless.

Overall it's been a good experience, however I feel the ENTJ and ENTP have different levels of depth and the ENTP needs to explore and question everything around them whereas the ENTJ already knows what they know and is ready to prove it.

Hope this sheds some insight.

[hystericalglamour]

Me & her against the world type of thing...

?

You ENTJ's adore this idea of having a 'partner in crime.' It's fascinating really, because when anyone else tries to help with anything, you can do it better yourself (and usually you can, so I don't blame you).

Every ENTJ has this idealistic picture of them and their partner, but, its more along the lines of :

"me, and the perfect image of someone who agrees to be my partner in crime but let's me do everything because I do it best and can't wait to use everyone in the most simple way possible to gain all the toys Earth has to offer with the least amount of effort on my part."

In my opinion it sounds quite reasonable.

On another note : ENTJ men seem to go wild for elegant women (and every ENTJ I've known has used that exact term), maybe it's my ballet training that has me attracting so many ENTJ men into my life.

[MisterD]

The only serious girlfriend i've had was from year 9 to year 10. After that.. I've been doing my own thing, living my life, self-amusing myself. I've had flings here and there, but nothing serious. I was so used to not getting attached, it's as if I did have the skills to have a serious relationship.

Just recently, I met this girl. She's good looking & has a great personality. However, I know other women who are much higher on the looks scale. This leads to my next point..

"ENTJ men seem to go wild for elegant women (and every ENTJ I've known has used that exact term), maybe it's my ballet training that has me attracting so many ENTJ men into my life."
The girl I met recently just gives off this vibe & aura, I feel at peace around her. The feeling I get only when I do boxing. Other ENTJs might get this vibe from you.

Me & her against the world type of thing...
DEFINITELY :) We've been spending alot of time together, with her around it just brings clarity. I'm normally an angered & frustrated person who is hard on myself, due to the fact that I constantly strive to live up to my high standards. Normally, on the first date I hate leaving things open-ended & ABSOLUTELY hate not acting out on my intentions, if I don't act on my intentions I ponder about it later on in the day, it drives me insane.. impossible to bear. I would rather get blown out than not try, some people despise me.. some like me.

With this girl though, going for the first kiss was different.. Because I actually cared. Something was holding me back, I hit a wall. I I wasn't acting out on my intentions & instinct.

KNOW THIS: If an ENTJ shows you a side that nobody sees & you take advantage of it, he will NEVER talk to you/respect you again.

Though when my mind & body finally agreed with each other it was such a good kiss. She said nobody had ever kissed her like that before, sadly though she doesn't want a serious relationship right now.. but i'm going to keep spending time with her & see what goes down. She says that deep down i'm a real softy, whenever she does I look at her in the eyes & give her my death stare.. this happens naturally. She just giggles, other women don't give off the same vibe =/ It's hard to explain..

Haha, I feel so cliche right now it's disgusting.

[ohTOMICho]

Based on what I observed with my ENTJ guy:

-He's passive-aggressive about what he wants. Which is a good tactic for getting what you want without overwhelming the other person or scaring them off. I think he sensed that I wouldn't respond well to sexual aggressiveness so he was extremely patient with me.

-He has many facades. And I am lucky enough to know most of them. Some people will always know him as the funny goofball, others will always know him as the well-mannered businessman--but few will get to see him truly relaxed as I have. Or witness the darker side to his personality. I guess what I'm trying to say is, he must like me a great deal if I know all of this and am still not dead, eh?

-He's not affectionate in public, but is all touchy-feely whenever we're alone. Not that I'm complaining. ~.^

-He organized dates to places and events he knows I'd appreciate such as art and flower shows despite his inability to wrap his mind around the fact that flowers and trees give me peace. >.>

Based on what he's told me about his Ex's:
-Er. Not much. He could barely remember them.

[Jerick]

(I made this about males because I've noticed that there is a big different between female and male ENTJ's, more so than any other personality type, especially younger ones)

How are they different?

@hystericalglamour

[Monkey King]

..... ^ I was wondering the same thing--- I checked on most observations by those who are with ENTJs....

LOL The partner in crime--- me & him against the world is also what I think of when I get into a relationship. I don't want dates, I want adventures with this SO.
And admittedly, I usually go for handsome men who carry that gentleman vibe--- modern day chivalrous men? I don't know, but I seem to be attracted to those men.