[tkdprincessxoxo]

im an 15 year old INFP girl thats in love with a 17 year old ENTJ boy.
we dated for about 2 and a half months and he loved me just as much but he eventually jsut fell out of love with me.
im ashamed of some parts of the physical parts of the relationship.
i still go over to his house all the time becuase i am very close with his INFJ mom and sister.
his mom told me that she had a vision where i was back with him really happy in the future and that it would last. but for now... it just hurts really bad...
any advice on how to treat him or help myself at all? he thinks of me as a friend, thats all..

[angelictroublemaker]

lovely, are you sure the ENTJ forum was the right place to come to - I love them to bits but emotion and empathy aren't exactly strong points!

you have to just let things be and wait and hope...nothing you say or do will change things. he has to work it out for himself, and cos that's via congnitive processes rather than gut -heart feelings, it takes time (or he might just not). Also, he'll only ever realise he's made a mistake if/when he feels the lack of you, so don't hang around. (by which I don't mean put yourself out there romantically, in a consumerist approach to love)

I had something similar (altho I'm a bit older than you) but then he dropped things to pursue his career ambitions. it's shitty, though hardly out of character for an ENTJ. what I am doing is putting all my energies into climbing and finding a job [in the day] and dreaming of him [in the night]. Doing anything to try and change the situation would do no good, since his focus is elsewhere.

We just have to hope and have faith that things will work out for the best. Never in our timing, and not always what we envision, but it always does, honest. In the past, going and putting all my emotional energy into achieving something (exams or climbing harder and harder routes) has always helped the pain to recede until eventually (when i realised the guys weren't good enough for me) it just slipped away.

with my entj, it doesn't feel the same, in that it was "special" and I totally felt like we were mind mates and soul mates and everthing else, so maybe it won't slip away. all the same, focussing your attention on developing yourself somehow- rather than the other person - is what I've found to be the best way...hopefully your entj and my entj will see "heart-sense" someday, but even if not, we will be better people from having learnt and developped through the pain...

These are just my thoughts - feel free to disagree, but this is what I think based on my own experiences (and INFP and INFJs can't be all that different, can they?)

Sending you lots of warmth and empathy, my dear!!!

[Dear Sigmund]

a bit OT here, but is his house the place you plan on going if/ when you move out?
2 1/2 months? short time, it could be that he was only in the relationship for the physical aspect of it.

Try to treat him like you would treat any other male friend. yea I know ,a tall order. In the meantime for yourself, writing your thoughts and feelings in a journal may help. Its a way of getting things out . Drawing or painting will also do the trick.

[RhoAlphaNuAlpha]

im an 15 year old INFP girl thats in love with a 17 year old ENTJ boy.
we dated for about 2 and a half months and he loved me just as much but he eventually jsut fell out of love with me.
im ashamed of some parts of the physical parts of the relationship.
i still go over to his house all the time becuase i am very close with his INFJ mom and sister.
his mom told me that she had a vision where i was back with him really happy in the future and that it would last. but for now... it just hurts really bad...
any advice on how to treat him or help myself at all? he thinks of me as a friend, thats all..

1)Visions, prophecies, and the like, do not exist. Don't use that as a means of validation that you will get back together.

2)You are quite young, I suggest finding someone else of interest or focusing on your studies or hobbies.

3)If seeing the person and his family still brings you a feeling of nostalgia or as you said, it "hurts really bad", I suggest you dont see them anymore and use your time to get your mind off of him and move on.

Either way, I wish you luck.

[tkdprincessxoxo]

lovely, are you sure the ENTJ forum was the right place to come to - I love them to bits but emotion and empathy aren't exactly strong points!

you have to just let things be and wait and hope...nothing you say or do will change things. he has to work it out for himself, and cos that's via congnitive processes rather than gut -heart feelings, it takes time (or he might just not). Also, he'll only ever realise he's made a mistake if/when he feels the lack of you, so don't hang around. (by which I don't mean put yourself out there romantically, in a consumerist approach to love)

I had something similar (altho I'm a bit older than you) but then he dropped things to pursue his career ambitions. it's shitty, though hardly out of character for an ENTJ. what I am doing is putting all my energies into climbing and finding a job [in the day] and dreaming of him [in the night]. Doing anything to try and change the situation would do no good, since his focus is elsewhere.

We just have to hope and have faith that things will work out for the best. Never in our timing, and not always what we envision, but it always does, honest. In the past, going and putting all my emotional energy into achieving something (exams or climbing harder and harder routes) has always helped the pain to recede until eventually (when i realised the guys weren't good enough for me) it just slipped away.

with my entj, it doesn't feel the same, in that it was "special" and I totally felt like we were mind mates and soul mates and everthing else, so maybe it won't slip away. all the same, focussing your attention on developing yourself somehow- rather than the other person - is what I've found to be the best way...hopefully your entj and my entj will see "heart-sense" someday, but even if not, we will be better people from having learnt and developped through the pain...

These are just my thoughts - feel free to disagree, but this is what I think based on my own experiences (and INFP and INFJs can't be all that different, can they?)

Sending you lots of warmth and empathy, my dear!!!

the only difference ive noticed between INFP's and INFJ's that INFP's are so emotional and take things personally. we are also very sweett.. the INFJ's are more darker, i was once told by an INFJ that i am a sweeter version of herself... J's dont take things as personally as the P's do i am pree sure haha but we are sister personality ty[es and have a special spot in my heart(:

as for the guy... i am treating him like i would treat most of my guy friends. is it normal for him to not really want to talk that much or not really want to hang out?

[vagus]

After my relationships I would always "cut the cord" sort-of-speak. Cold turkey, no contact for a good period of time. It was just obvious to me that continual contact would make getting over that person more difficult and vice versa. If he's anything like me, then he's avoiding you to spare your feelings.

I do recommend separation on your end too. Going to his house frequently doesn't help settle your emotions and his mom doesn't seem to be helping the situation either. In my opinion, distance is key to letting yourself get over the breakup

I agree with RhoAlphaNuAlpha, disregard her vision. My ex's mom had/possibly has been praying for over two years that we'd get back together. There's a greater possibility I'd grow an extra toe than get together with her.

[tkdprincessxoxo]

well i dont go over to his house to see him at all... his mom and sister arent just good friends, they are my mentors. they have helped me so much to become the person that i am. if it werent for them i would be giving in to my depression once again. i am so strong since they have helped me.. so i dont think it would be a good thing to stop seeing them

i dont usually see him when i am over there though. when i do, just act like friends, just talk a little bit, have a few laughs and thats all haha.

[RhoAlphaNuAlpha]

well i dont go over to his house to see him at all... his mom and sister arent just good friends, they are my mentors. they have helped me so much to become the person that i am. if it werent for them i would be giving in to my depression once again. i am so strong since they have helped me.. so i dont think it would be a good thing to stop seeing them

i dont usually see him when i am over there though. when i do, just act like friends, just talk a little bit, have a few laughs and thats all haha.

No offence, I dont know the mother, but I cannot imagine a women who tells an ex girlfriend of her sons that sees prophetic visions/dreams of them getting back together to be a good mentor.

Not to mention the fact that encouraging you to linger around there and isn't supporting you move on from her son...not a good role model in my opinion.

[dude10000]

This thread is so weird...

[tkdprincessxoxo]

yahh this is sorta a strange one... haha!! but idk how to say this its just kinda weird, i really loook up to her becuase she is like the mother that i dont have to me. she jujst has never been wrong about her visions before....

im putting my faith in God to make everthing work out.i just need some advice on how to handle the situation atm.....