[delarocha420]

Hello ENTJs. I am an INTJ and I have a rather long, complex question. It has two parts so if you dont want to read through the second long part then please just answer the first question.



1. What do you think about INTJs as a potential partner?
2. So I am pretty inexperienced as far as sex goes. I know I'm attractive and have a great body because people tell me so. My second time was with an ENTJ (we were mutual friends through a really good guy friend of mine--ENFP). Most of our interactions are with the ENFP smoking weed and just chilling, talking about whatever. I know he likes me at least as a friend because we can talk/get along and the conversation flows. I get him because of the NTJ thing. He also said (in the company of the ENFP) that he thinks I'm a cool girl, but most girls are too emotional/clingy which he does not understand/like. He knows that I know that he has a reputation for hooking up with a lot of girls, but I don't mention it or bother him about it. Its really not my business as we're not dating, and I don't particularly care.

Anyway, the first time we hooked up there was no penetration that time because it was still painful for me. I was willing, but he said "I feel like I'm hurting you" so we just fooled around with oral sex and fell asleep afterwards. We cuddled a bit cause he said he was a cuddler (lol). That was in may. Fast forward to this semester during the first week of school. I hit him up to smoke and we get into it. I was reluctant because of what happened last time and I didn't know if there would still be pain, but he insisted. Anyway, it was great...while it lasted. It was kind of awkward during...he was ehem... eating me out, for example, and avoiding eye contact. He also orgasmed pretty quickly and I didn't realize. It was like this
"Oh I just came"
"Oh...really?"
"Yea thanks for noticing"

I felt bad because I was having fun but I think I may have hurt him/insulted him but I didn't mean to. Just a bad choice of words really. Didn't help that I was high as fuck and we just sat there afterwards and I kept staring at him. He kept like looking at me weirdly at the corner of his eye saying
"What? Why do you keep staring at me?"
"Shit sorry I'm just high as fuck"
"You really like looking at me don't you"

Anyway after about 10 minutes of just sitting there we got dressed and he started playing some music, surfing the internet. At one point he saw this music video of some big booty girls and was like
"Sorry I have to watch this"
"Yea ok I don't care"
"Its just...I mean damn they are thick as fuck. I'm a guy I like this shit"
"Yea I mean if I saw something with a hot guy I would watch it too"
"Yea exactly"

Then we chilled for a bit and he walked me out of his place, gave me a hug and I was on my way. I am currently studying abroad with the ENFP friend, so I have had zero contact with him since that night.

SO my question is, is there potential for a relationship here? I don't have feeling for him but I think they could possibly develop if/when we start hooking up again when I return last semester. He's hot, we get along, we have a lot of shared interests, I know he thinks I'm sexy. Should I bother? Would he be interested? Or should I just enjoy the sex?

[Jeffrey]

First of all. Is this a test? (just kidding, you would never know with INTJs)

Well I'm very attracted to the INTJ personality because of the shared view of the world and life. Both being very odd personalities and I think in my life INTJs are the persons that understood me best.

About your issue I cant really say much. You will have to explain on a deeper level for me to correlate.

[Gandalf_]

He insisted that you have sex with him, he made fun of you immediately after and somehow made you feel like you were the one in the wrong about it, he avoided looking at you after, and then he began objectifying women on TV?

I'm really sorry if I've misunderstood something, but it sounds like this guy isn't worth your time.

I also wonder whether or not you feel that way already. That could definitely be me jumping to conclusions. Obviously you didn't lead us in that direction. But at the same time, why else would you have added all of those details that make him look like a jerk?

[delarocha420]

He insisted that you have sex with him, he made fun of you immediately after and somehow made you feel like you were the one in the wrong about it, he avoided looking at you after, and then he began objectifying women on TV?

I'm really sorry if I've misunderstood something, but it sounds like this guy isn't worth your time.

I also wonder whether or not you feel that way already. That could definitely be me jumping to conclusions. Obviously you didn't lead us in that direction. But at the same time, why else would you have added all of those details that make him look like a jerk?

LOL. No I didn't really see it that way. I mean I think the smart ass remark right after was in response to me being seemingly cold about him cumming too quickly. I dunno I guess I thought he was insulted because I'm really not experienced at all and he is very experienced yet I outlasted him and I was left kind of unsatisfied. Then I made it worse by staring.


And the rap video thing, hahaha I mean I guess that's just the way he acts in general. He's just really blunt and at that point it was a lot less awkward because we just went back to chilling and talking instead of me awkwardly staring at him. I mean...I don't think it was rude.

I just added all that stuff because I suppose I was trying to imply that most girls would probably be turned off or offended by it, whereas I just see it as him being a guy...and unapologetic about it. I mean, most of his friends call him a dick and he accepts that but I don't really agree.

[WickedQueen]

A relationship based on smoke and sex.
Yeah, there's a possibility for relationship.
Although I also see a possibility for the relationship being shallow, dry, and short-term.

[MegaTuxRacer]

I suppose anything is possible.

[n2freedom]

Hello ENTJs. I am an INTJ and I have a rather long, complex question. It has two parts so if you dont want to read through the second long part then please just answer the first question.

1. What do you think about INTJs as a potential partner?

Don't know any INTJs so I can't comment on that one.

Most of our interactions are with the ENFP smoking weed and just chilling, talking about whatever. I know he likes me at least as a friend because we can talk/get along and the conversation flows.
He also said (in the company of the ENFP) that he thinks I'm a cool girl, but most girls are too emotional/clingy which he does not understand/like.
He knows that I know that he has a reputation for hooking up with a lot of girls, but I don't mention it or bother him about it. Its really not my business as we're not dating, and I don't particularly care.

I was willing, but he said "I feel like I'm hurting you" so we just fooled around with oral sex and fell asleep afterwards. That was in may.
Fast forward to this semester during the first week of school. I was reluctant because of what happened last time and I didn't know if there would still be pain, but he insisted.
avoiding eye contact. He also orgasmed pretty quickly and I didn't realize.

Anyway after about 10 minutes of just sitting there we got dressed and he started playing some music, surfing the internet.

At one point he saw this music video of some big booty girls and was like
"Sorry I have to watch this"
"Yea ok I don't care"
"Its just...I mean damn they are thick as fuck. I'm a guy I like this shit"
"Yea I mean if I saw something with a hot guy I would watch it too"
"Yea exactly"
so I have had zero contact with him since that night.

I bolded some phrases above that caught my attention. I'm curious how much contact has he initiated? Especially between the sexual attempt in May until the first week of school (Aug/Sept I assume??) Here are some red flags to me that indicate an interest of fuck buddy only:
(1) Not much in between communication
(2) Reputation of hooking up with a lot of girls
(3) No indication of any type of dating at all
(4) Appears to be no indication over the summer break and once back on campus picked back up where you left off sexually
(5) Orgasmed pretty quickly..but that maybe due to age so I will not comment on that one after all. But, typically when a guy is not interesting in pleasing a woman and delaying ejaculation....it's about the sex
(6) Cuddling first time after an attempt because he a "cuddler" but no cuddling after actually having sex.
(7) the most girls comment sounds like an indirect way of managing down expectations and/or setting up the stage for you to dive in an be the exception and be a cool girl and be unemotional and/or non clinging in a fuck buddy arrangement
(8) Zero contact since that night ... I guess that would mean it's been about two weeks... HUGE red flag!

See other responses below in blue......

SO my question is, is there potential for a relationship here? My vote nope! Unless something drastically changes...I don't see it.

I don't have feeling for him but I think they could possibly develop if/when we start hooking up again when I return last semester. I'm not sure about this one. I think you do otherwise I don't think you would have taken the time to post this and I certainly don't think you would be concerned about something that will happen with him in the Spring (at least I think that would be the time frame for last semester). I think you need a slight reality check on this one.
He's hot, we get along, we have a lot of shared interests, I know he thinks I'm sexy. Should I bother? Would he be interested? Or should I just enjoy the sex? Only you can answer those questions and it totally depends on what you are looking for and/or wanting from him. However, I strong suggest you be open and honest with yourself when making that decision about it is that you are truly wanting. Because it seems to me you are somewhat hopeful that it could possibly transition into a relationship and that case I do have advice...chalk this one up to experience and keep it moving.

[Miss Scarlet]

Why would you do this to yourself?

[Tea Path]

It was like this
"Oh I just came"
"Oh...really?"
"Yea thanks for noticing"

Self-absorbed, much?

"You really like looking at me don't you"

See above

[QUOTE] Anyway after about 10 minutes of just sitting there we got dressed and he started playing some music, surfing the internet. At one point he saw this music video of some big booty girls and was like
"Sorry I have to watch this"
"Yea ok I don't care"
"Its just...I mean damn they are thick as fuck. I'm a guy I like this shit"
"Yea I mean if I saw something with a hot guy I would watch it too"
"Yea exactly" [\QUOTE]

See first statement. Only seen 2 ENTJs in relationships. For what I can tell you, they are INTERESTED. They want to hear about you. From me and what I've seen of my brother-in-law, we're pretty affectionate to our spouses, open up to them like no one else, and hold them in very high esteem.

Right now, this guy shows that he cares about one thing-what you can do for him. And, it sounds like you may be rationalizing how you're treated to make yourself feel better. That's understandable cause no one likes to be used, but it's not sane.

Take your self-respect, shore yourself up, and look for someone else if you want someone to care about you.

[delarocha420]

lololol thanks for responding. I really wasn't leaning towards either possibilities--him liking me or not. I'm just not good with these things so I figured I'd ask what his expectations were.

Sounds good I'll just enjoy the sex.