[cyamitide]

How do you see your secondary instinct? How does it come into play in your life? How does it interact with your primary one?

[OrangeAppled]

As an sp-dom, my primary focus is my physical/emotional comfort, a comfort which depends upon those aspects being in MY control, which means I prefer to be independent. I strive to be self-sufficient as much as possible, but the intense SX desire to connect (no doubt fueled as much by being Fi-dom and e4) creates a "push-pull" effect. I push away people as threats to independence, then I seek to attract people passively for intimate relationships, but I fear needing anything I cannot provide for myself enough that I may push them back after I catch their notice.

SX types seek intensity in relationships with others & intensity of experience, so that's why I will passively seek to draw individuals (often through how I dress, or other indirect ways of broadcasting I am special so those who "get it" will respond). I will not do so at the expense of my physical/emotional comfort however. SX-doms, IMO, appear that they will do it at that expense. The minute I feel that discomfort, I pull back. I've had few close friends & romances because of this. Since SO is last, I don't become parts of groups either & am oblivious or uncaring of my over all "reputation".

I also will use my sx instinct to aid my sp one. I won't seek out intense experiences that are uncomfortable, but ones which are as soothing as they are exciting. I'll try & use my sp independence to my advantage for my sx instinct also; I'll (unconsciously) use my aloofness towards others as a draw; I become a mystery they want to solve. I'm not necessarily good at drawing people that way, but part of the sx instinct is weeding people out who aren't right for you. I find it works with a select few, so that it does drive them nuts & they have to pursue me. My intensity in connecting tends to come out AFTER I have established emotional comfort with someone, AFTER I am assured there is no threat to my independence.

My ex was an so/sx and similarly, he would not seek intensity at the expense of his main instinct, in his case, his social reputation/connections. In addition, the sx intimate connections he sought, the intense experiences, etc, were often angled to aid his SO motivations of being socially appropriate & impressive; and then he'd also angle his social status to attract intimate connections with people. The two played off each other, but the so instinct dominated enough to suppress the sx if it came down to one or the other.

[Tucken]

I'm SP/SX. How I see it... It doesn't so much interact with my primary SP instinct, but sometimes I switch into it. Go into Sx mode, where I am challenging and daring people to 'play' with me. It can take people aback if I was looking sleepy and drowsy the moment before as SP 9s often do. But sometimes something captures my attention and instantly sx is switched on and I turn my head and look with laser-eyes, sometimes my voice raises a lot.

This stacking makes me interested in having a few close relations. Like I want to have intimate, soulful relations but from the safety of my own space, on my own terms. I stick to my few life long friends and such.

Sx gives interest in having deep relations. And sometimes it comes out to play and I warp into an Sx mode. Sx second makes it natural to get very close to people. But with SP first only a select few. It also gives a quality of search. The search for yourself, the search for truth or something beneath the ordinary layer of society.

[FreeBeer]

This is very unclear to me as well. Anyone? :O nice, 2 posts ^^ should have reloaded I guess.

I'm SP/SX. How I see it... It doesn't so much interact with my primary SP instinct, but sometimes I switch into it. Go into Sx mode, where I am challenging and teasing people to 'play' with me. It can take people aback if I was looking sleepy and drowsy the moment before as SP 9s often do. But sometimes something captures my attention and instantly sx is switched on and I turn my head and look with laser-eyes, sometimes my voice raises a lot.

This stacking makes me interested in having a few close relations. Like I want to have intimate, soulful relations but from the safety of my own space, on my own terms. I stick to my few life long friends and such.

Sx gives interest in having deep relations. And sometimes it comes out to play and I warp into an Sx mode. Sx second makes it natural to get very close to people. But with SP first only a select few. It also gives a quality of search. The search for yourself, the search for truth or something beneath the ordinary layer of society.

There is a comon misconception about Sx, that Sx wants close relationships. The reality is that Sx wants to mate with the other person on a subconscious level and this manifests in behavior. The beahviour mainly attracts the opposite sex and repulses or attracts the same sex. The sexual variant is exactly for what it was named for.

I have met Sx first people and my immediate reaction to the guy was that of competition, he is trouble and I could smell it on him. He said he could see it on me right away, it felt to him like I was growling and staring him down. Needless to say we were after the same girl at the time <.< and yeah...he lost..mostly because I was his superior in every other way. Sx firsts have this intense magnetism about them, seriously he could charm any girl he wanted and it wasn't his looks...there was something about him..this aura of alpha male. Sx firsts attract attention to themselves.

I don't know how this could manifest as second in personality, but Sx tends to give the person more confidence and extroversion, more drive and the tendency to reveal intimate things about themselves to others, which can seem as annoying, interesting or strangely weird.

:P am completely lost on this thing, one thing I'm sure of is that I'm not Sx first, which is a blessing ^^ thank you universe.

[Promethea]

sx runs me ragged.. sp is there to rescue me sometimes.

[Tucken]

@Anarchy Well Sx doesnt care about close relationships per se but it looks for something which can be found within close relations. Inside another human being and something in the very exchange itself.

I find that Sx has a spiritual side to it, the search for something more. It's not really about the sex, if it is about the sex that is more SP motivation - satisfying yourself. Sx is about looking for ways to merge with reality, to look for something more that cannot be found inside oneself and to create oneness. It is this need to become whole that spurs them to have partners. When Sx is top instinct or middle instinct you get titles like "seekers, mystics".

As we are we are contained within our bodies, but through sex we can melt into oneness. If you open yourself up to someone and simultaneously dig into them there can be a meaningful exchange. Taking sex out of it, sxs wants to hear another persons thoughts or feelings not exactly to get close to the person, but to find some meaningful exchange and satisfy the need to be more whole.

Similarly SP isnt about money, there is another drive behind it.
Socials are not about groups, there is a hidden drive behind it.
Sx is really not about sex, imo. It's just the expression it takes on. All that energy needs an outlet, but the interest isn't in the sex.

[FreeBeer]

@Anarchy Well Sx doesnt care about close relationships per se but it looks for something which can be found within close relations. Inside another human being and something in the very exchange itself.

I find that Sx has a spiritual side to it, the search for something more. It's not really about the sex, if it is about the sex that is more SP motivation - satisfying yourself. Sx is about looking for ways to merge with reality, to look for something more that cannot be found inside oneself and to create oneness. It is this need to become whole that spurs them to have partners. When Sx is top instinct or middle instinct you get titles like "seekers, mystics".

As we are we are contained within our bodies, but through sex we can melt into oneness. If you open yourself up to someone and simultaneously dig into them there can be a meaningful exchange. Taking sex out of it, sxs wants to hear another persons thoughts or feelings not exactly to get close to the person, but to find some meaningful exchange and satisfy the need to be more whole.

Similarly SP isnt about money, there is another drive behind it.
Socials are not about groups, there is a hidden drive behind it.
Sx is really not about sex, imo. It's just the expression it takes on. All that energy needs an outlet, but the interest isn't in the sex.

Would a relentless search for meaning qualify as some form of Sx? It is my main drive and when I feel like I'm onto something, then I can be unstoppable, relentless with unending energy and drive in my search. I don't know the meaning of "give up" when somethig or someone really interests me. This can be a person or something else, but what I'm really after is an answer for myself, meaning in life. I know for sure I'm not Sx first, but my double reactive tritype is not named the seeker for nothing.

[Promethea]

Would a relentless search for meaning qualify as some form of Sx? It is my main drive and when I feel like I'm onto something, then I can be unstoppable, relentless with unending energy and drive in my search. I don't know the meaning of "give up" when somethig or someone really interests me. This can be a person or something else, but what I'm really after is an answer for myself, meaning in life.

Is -that- what drives you? Mainly. As an sx first, I have gotten myself into absolutely ridiculous situations following this impulse that overpowers me.

[FreeBeer]

Is -that- what drives you? Mainly. As an sx first, I have gotten myself into absolutely ridiculous situations following this impulse that overpowers me.

Ridiculous would be correct...painful sometimes (-.- the riddiculous relationship situations i get myself into sometimes..). I don't know how to give up and back down when something really matters to me and finding meaning in life is the most important thing for me. I search for it everywhere. This is why I'm into the enneagram, MBTI as well...I sought it out and the drive to figure this out in hopes of finding some clues towards some faint meaning is very strong.

[Tucken]

I dont know.. I think that generally a relentless search for meaning is something spurred by fear of death.

Perhaps your type 4 could explain some of it? Or type 6 as you're looking for answers(read to understand, clarity).

In the end I'm gonna have to say no. Sx is a search but not exactly the way you put it. I'm not sure about this myself. But I think the energy you mention comes from something else. Your core, perhaps.