[Tucken]

Heya. Perhaps there is someone who always rejects all of your ideas or offers...You try and be nice and inviting, but he always rejects even when he's not doing anything special. I'm that guy. Here are some things about my stacking and how things are from my perspective.

I'm Sp/Sx/So - reserved, introverted. I have my own interests, and going out with people means to sacrifice interest time for...nothing, there's no gain to me unless there's some middle path like food which I like. I need my independence, I can be very hard to get through to as I keep people at a distance and never invite them except for hugs and physical touch and such. But everything about group activities passes me by like words of a foreign language. I don't understand to listen to it.

Recently I've been pretty much isolated for months not talking to anyone and I like that. Sometimes I can be quite socially awkward, I just don't know how to do it. But today it felt very natural and due to certain causes I met with family and many of my friends and acquaintances(not all at the same time, thank god) and it felt really good. Some of them I've had some issues with in the past at times. My alone time in 'isolation' had recharged me, or it seemed that way. I took my time to really talk to them, sometimes 1on1 sometimes small groups around a table. And I met a couple of new faces and we talked and got along really well. I pretty much laughed and smiled and connected with everyone I met with today. A good day by any standard.

But in my life, if someone ever asked me to join in on something instantly there would arise these resisting impulses in my head(since I want to keep to my own interests) turning into thoughts. "When, how are we getting there, what are we eating, how much is it?" And so I'd always answer with follow-up questions trying to gauge if it's worth it. Only later on would it possibly occur to me that maybe I should join to spend time with people and not because of the actual event. If everything had been taken care of, if I liked the answers to my questions then maybe I'd care to join. Most often not as it didn't pass the test. So with new people it's really hard to get me to do anything with them. At least if you're an old friend of mine you'll know I have a weakness for pizza and such.

However I see now how...practical it would be for me to be more social and outgoing. Sort of oblivious to how it could actually be pleasant or useful in and out of itself, I most definitely feel it would be good to grease the wheels to make my relations easier. It would be leverage for me so that I could continue with my own stuff without people butting heads with me because I don't wanna do the things they do.



So I'm thinking of puting in a little bit of effort on my own to make things soo much better. Tell about the finer arts of social grace and what's going through a Soc firsts head. Why do you invite people to go with you to do stuff all the time. What do you want from co-workers and people in general?? What do you think of social awkward people and people who always rejects you or never joins in?

[Paradigm]

I wish I could say something to actually add to the conversation, but sp/sx is my stacking, too. I find that it's not so much related to introversion, which seems to be what you keep referring to, but the... "energy" one has.

Soc people can be confusing because while I'm focused on what I'm concerned about (my health, comfort, family, friends, not the larger population), they always have at least one eye on the groups around them. I'm thinking to myself, "They're probably not going to be part of us" or "We'll never see them ever again," but it doesn't seem like that occurs to a soc?

I'd actually be very interested in hearing experiences of how a soc-users' mind works.
What about so/sx, though? :O


(Reminds me of this EID thread: E = SO)

[Tucken]

Thanks for that. It may be better to use the ~10% introverts 75% ambiverts and 10~extravert way of looking at things if we want to discuss how it correlates to instincts. Most people fall into the ambivert category. But then some enneatypes are generally considered more introverted than other types also so it's a bit complicated...

I think there is definitely some correlation between Soc and extraversion but the finer lines between the two can be debated. The considerable amount of miss-typing especially with instincts make it hard to come to anything definite but it's my experience that SP roughly correlates to introversion and SO roughly correlates to extraversion.

The last instinct means total obliviousness to it. SP last: No sense you need to take care of the body. SX last: No sense you need physical touch and lovers. SO last: No sense you need people.

edit: See - I said thanks for that. This is exactly what we're talking about! I'm thanking Paradigm for her perspective and the hyperlink, I'm not actually appreciating she's here. I get the SP, the thing given but I don't even consider enjoying her company or however I should put it.

[FreeBeer]

<.< hmm I'm Sp first so...myeah not much to add. I want to talk about the "energy" thou and would like some input on this.

Don't ask about food <.<...>.>...or talk about it *drools*...I'm hungry....oh right the energy!

So primary seems to have this kind of energy( -.- yes she can still be INFP despite behaving like that...INFPs are a bit nuts like ENFPs):



As an Sp I'm nice and friendly, always a smile on my face..however that smile is actually a type 6 defense mechanism. If people would look closer they can see the truth in the upper part of my face. I don't smile the same way when I'm fine.

I would love to look at a reliable video of someone with So last and Sp first to see the differences.

As and Sp first...I'm not aware of the group mechanics, how people see me, what my places is in society and stuff like that. Not that I would care anyway, but sometimes I offend people and don't get why they are outraged, its frustrating and stressful being in a social enviroment. I prefer the sanctity of my own room or the "fuck social norms' of a rock concert crowd.

Don't know if other Sps are like this but I crave constant intense stimulation and feel restless when I don't have it. I hate being alone and bored, I need stimulation and alone time. Music seems to work well for this and I do listen to music almost 24/7. Keeps my overactive mind from getting into too many thoughts.

For the record...yes I'm somewhat of a rush junkie....so maybe the stimulation thing is just me.

[Paradigm]

The last instinct means total obliviousness to it. SP last: No sense you need to take care of the body. SX last: No sense you need physical touch and lovers. SO last: No sense you need people.

I kinda disagree, it sounds over-simplified. Like, it can't be total obliviousness or else society couldn't function properly and some so-last types couldn't even exist (so-last 2, 6, 9, etc.).

Sp-last is less concerned of their living situation and comfort. (Paying bills, having food in the house.)
Sx-last is less focused on intensity. (Gets into routines quickly, doesn't change much.)
So-last is less aware of the dynamics around them. (Need clarification on social norms, being less aware of "pop culture.")

Though I'm sure that's not even 100% correct I'm basing it off of the fact that most of the soc's I know just have this automatic knowledge or interest on the "larger things."

Trivia tidbit:
Several introverts I know well are so-second. One ISFJ sp/so and two INFJs, sp/so and sx/so. But I don't have a wide enough pool of people to figure this is a trend.

But yeah, generally sp-firsts mean a more introverted person than an soc-first.

[FreeBeer]

I read this somewhere:

Type 6 sp/sx has a tendency towards social anxiety, because So is last and they feel lost in social situations which =/= being secure. Everything seems unpredictable and scary because they have problems navigating it.

Don't know how much this is true. I know I have social anxiety.

Being So first seems like fun to me -.- I thought I was 4w5 so/sx at first. Bummer...I'm Sp.

Here we go: http://www.enneagramdimensions.net/a...f_subtypes.pdf

[soya]

I think I'm sx/sp, though I have considered sp/sx as well. I find that it's fairly easy to be sociable on a one-on-one basis. If I'm in a group, I find one or two people to focus on at a time. I don't usually see the appeal of massive numbers of people, aside from the amusing novelty that ensues...

When I speak with people individually, I can get to know them a lot better than if I casually exchange a few words in a larger group setting. I can have a deeper conversation with a couple of people than with 10 people - I find it's harder to maintain one topic when there are so many people around. It's important for my interest to be engaged in some way, because when I get bored, I start to zone out in my mind and think about something else. My Ne likes loose connections and moving around different topics, but it ends up feeling too disjointed when a conversation is more a cacophony than a symphony, if that makes sense. Sometimes that's fun, but not often enough for me to want to crash every party.

I suppose sx types want more depth and intimacy with individuals and so types like to feel a little rapport with everyone, acceptance into a group. Sp people seem to gravitate toward people who respect their wishes and needs most of all.

I wonder if so types are naturally good sociologists because of their focus on groups more than individuals.

[FreeBeer]

It was brought to my attention that if a person is unhealthy:

Sp - will become a slob, irregular sleeping, bad eating habits and general neglect when it comes to everything which the Sp stands for normally.

So - will exhibit antisocial behavior, hate towards groups of people and society, lack of social skill and general social phobia.

Sx - addiction to drugs, thrills, problems with intimacy, promiscuity, very unhealthy approach to relationships.

[Tucken]

@Anarchy Okay first about energies. I don't have any clips or pics to show but you could search the enneagram institute board for instincts and celebs and such though it's harder to judge public figures compared to common Joes.
SP: Grounded, earthly, practical, heavy. Body language is reserved/putting up barriers. Integrity and distance. Closed off.
SX: Electric, lightning, intense, burning. Body language is inviting/rejecting. Playful/daring. Sexy/scary.
SO: Soft, open, airy, light. Body language is open and friendly? Inviting talk and communication.
Article was great.

@Paradigm It is over-simplified but I think it does its job :). For example I cant do the SO thing, I relate with Sx if I'm around people. SO passes me by completely. And a lot of people with SP last are sick all the time because they eat and sleep badly. Sx lasts can't stand people touching them and often live alone for a long time after a failed relationship.
Sometimes someone comes along and say "Maybe you... should hang out more with us? should eat better and go to bed on time? need a partner and some romance?" because to them it's rather obvious what's lacking and perhaps causing problems.
Unless people are made conscious of it somehow they tend to be very oblivious to the needs of their last instinct.

Oh and what I meant with

SO last: No sense you need people.

It means SO lasts tries and take care of their needs on their own, they always have. So they don't need other people. They dont understand why they should go out and eat dinner with people when they rather make their own dinner themselves or why they should ask for help when they can fix things themselves. And so we always resist invites, and if we see a sign that says "Party on saturday" we pass it by without thinking twice if partying is not for us. The idea to go there to chat and gather info on what is going on and to see whos hip and high rank and can dance is something we don't understand. We fail to see it. Or I do.. The only time I'd check to see with people whats going on is if there is something in there for me. If my favourite band is coming to town or there's a fire going on or something of that nature.

[Tucken]

It was brought to my attention that if a person is unhealthy:

Sp - will become a slob, irregular sleeping, bad eating habits and general neglect when it comes to everything which the Sp stands for normally.

So - will exhibit antisocial behavior, hate towards groups of people and society, lack of social skill and general social phobia.

Sx - addiction to drugs, thrills, problems with intimacy, promiscuity, very unhealthy approach to relationships.

Lol you beat me to it. Damn I take too much time editing my posts before actually posting!!

Actually my post complement yours. If you see you have a problem with an instinct it is probably your first or possible second instinct to your stacking. If for example you hate the social field and go antisocial you may well be social first. The last is not conceived to be a problem whether it's fulfilled or not because there's the mentioned obliviousness to it.