Many people know how meaningful the instinctual variants can be. There's this great new article by @MBTI Enthusiast, it is highly helpful for anyone interested in relationships between certain instinctual variants. It describes the challenges in relationships well but I just wonder how other people have solved these things... or have they? You?
I'm sx-dom by myself and I'd love to hear how other sx-doms have solved these issues. But I think it would be beneficial to hear things from another perspectives too so I hope others than sx-doms also reply and share :)
My relationship is with someone whose sx instinct is much weaker than mine. The biggest problems arise when I would need more intimacy, just being close to him, talking, looking at him, kissing, enjoying closeness, having sex... and he's just tired or busy or something. How that infuriates me. Not one time but when there are so many. I get that people have to work and sleep but he makes me feel lonely and abandoned. When I tell him how I feel, he feels so inadequate, tries to improve but just can't. I love him very much and he keeps me more balanced too but so many times I also feel I would be happier with someone else. I wonder how to solve this or if I even should try. Sure, I've tried to talk with him but it has not been productive. He says he wants the physical and mental closeness with me too but that's just not happening as much as I'd love to. According to the article, we should try to find balance, me being satisfied with less and he trying more. Is it really possible to do that?
Another problem area is socializing and social issues. His social instinct is so strong, mine is much weaker. He doesn't like the consequences but wishes I was more sociable and could relate more to other people or even cared about such a thing. He finds me not wanting to be like most others only annoying and says it would be nice if I was more fashionable and popular and not so individual. Once he even said that at times he's a little ashamed because of me. All that hurt me very much, clearly he doesn't accept me as who I am. Once, in the beginning of our relationship, I changed for him, nowadays I don't want anymore. I don't want to make him unhappy but he's very careful and precise himself not wanting to stand out at all. Whenever I wear something even slightly unusual (things like purple tights are just enough), he doesn't like it, expresses it and it hurts so much. What should be done? He should be more accepting, what should I do? I do not want to be something I'm not :(
Btw, just in case someone hasn't yet realized it, it's a huge and extremely annoying misconception that sx-doms would be the happiest people in relationships. It could be quite the contrary, it takes so much to make and keep us satisfied. And I except especially other sx-doms to know I do not mean sexually but generally satisfied.